church drama - follow-up

mamameech

In follow-up to all the church drama I posted on FB, I'm getting really impatient waiting for the Pastor to get back to us about whether or not he's going to include my son or if he'll even marry us. I need to know NOW because we need to make a lot of changes to our plans.FI is going through a lot of inner turmoil right now. He was so distant this morning, lost in thought about everything; basically his spiritual foundation is being shaken and he's not sure what to do. He grew up in that church and all his family goes there, but he never really questioned anything before or had any of the "rules" impact him personally. I feel a bit guilty but at the same time I'm glad he's really thinking about it. It's not something to just "follow"; it's important to do that kind of soul searching every now and again.

I chatted with my mom about it all; she too is very religious and very active in the catholic church. She was very understanding of my reaction and really felt that it was something she wouldn't accept either. At least I felt a bit more justified :P
I'm really hoping we can just have the ceremony elsewhere and move past all the struggles we've encountered. I do feel that it would be worth the effort to make the necessary changes. Of course, I'm not so eager to deal with his mother, but in the end, I can't let my need to please everyone overshadow my beliefs and my wishes.
If we don't do the church wedding, we can have the ceremony at our reception venue in either the sunken garden at sunset (if it's nice outside - either above the garden or in it -the garden is the place where our e-pics were taken but those trees won't be in bloom in Sept :P) or in the foyer where the dinner will be. Either way, it can be very beautiful. It will require some major rework of plans but we do have time to get it all done.
Here are a couple pics of where the ceremony could be held:

or the water court foyer:

calindi

Have your invites already gone out?  Are they printed?  If not, definitely look into other options!  You can probably have an Episcopal minister marry you at your venue - they follow most of the same general premises as the Catholic church, without some of the more restrictive rules.  It might appease the Catholic portion while allowing you guys to feel like you are getting what you need.

If he's re-thinking his faith, you might want to look into the Episcopalian church.  My parents fled the Catholic church before their wedding for similar reasons, and they found a very happy home in the Episcopalian community.  This coming from an atheist

mamameech

Our invitations are out - they went out before June 1 :P
We'd have to resend something but it's doable (VP is cheap - but Canada Post is not!)

cronin85

I am also getting married in a Catholic Church and I JUST received a phone call from them yesterday to set up our final meeting.  I was planning on giving them until July 15th and then I was going to explore other options.  If you and your FI have your hearts set on getting married in the Catholic church I would call everyday until I had an answer.  If it wouldn't bother you so much I would definitely suggest start thinking of different options.  I know Catholics are extremely strict as far as no sex before marriage, not living together etc etc.. but come on its 2012!!!!   Our church still doesnt want any of that to be happening but they know me and FI live together and there are other people that were in our group meeting who have children, on their second marriage etc;

I'm really sorry your going through all this but I know everything will work out for you.  The ceremony sites at your venue are beautiful by the way!!!