September 2012 Weddings
Options

Bridesmaids not ordering their dresses...

Have any of you had any issues with your BM being slow about ordering their dress for the wedding?  The youngest person in my bridal party was the first person to order their dress.  My MOH ordered hers already.  That just leaves my FI 3 sisters who have yet to order their dress.  I told them they need to order it by atleast the end of this month if they want it in on time if they need alterations.  It's just frustrating that I will ask his sisters on fb and they will not answer or just log off.  I'm almost to the point where I'm going to give them an ultimatum that if they don't order their dress by the end of may they wont be in the wedding.  Then that would prob cause all kinds of drama in his family.  Ugh so maddening.... 
Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Wedding tickers Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Third Birthday tickers

Re: Bridesmaids not ordering their dresses...

  • Options
    Urgh so frustrating! I only have one that hasn't ordered hers :-( but she is dealing with finals right now...

    As far as your situation.... Put your fiance to work! Ask him to talk to them! They are his sisters right? Or maybe you could set a date like... Hey, lets all go order your dresses together on this day! Or something.
  • Options
    Give them a final date to order by. If they don't, they will have to figure out rush order fees or whatever to get the dress. If they don't get the dress, they took themself out of the wedding... No need to give an ultimatum. Your wedding date already is one...
  • Options
    katiebean1katiebean1 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited May 2012
    NONE of my bm's or MOH have ordered their dresses yet =/. I finally had to tell them they had to order them by the end of May. 

    My MOH just found out she was preggo so I guess it's good she hasn't ordered yet.

    It is annoying.
    Planning Bio
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Follow Me on Pinterest
    222image 50image 19image
  • Options
    I agree with Britt.  Give them a final date, and leave it up to them.

    To get around this, I just ordered for my girls back in March.  I got their sizes and ordered em myself.  All but one of them (my sister) has paid me back.
  • Options
    Ahhh, so glad someone feels my pain!!!!!

    This has been my stress inducer for a while now.  I was going to post a topic on this, but you beat me to it! I have 4 BM's and 1 MOH.  The first person to buy their dress lives in a different state, the second person to purchase theirs is a mom of two, who goes to school and works as a nanny.  She got hers the second I asked her to. My MOH is my sister and she lives in a different state.  I told her a few days ago that she has until the end of this week to purchase hers.  She's also pregnant so it's important she gets it by the end of this week. The last two people ... One of them is trying to lose weight and she wanted to lose as much as she could before she ordered hers, which I understand.  This past week I told her that she needed to get it by Wednesday.  No fuss with her. The last person has been my biggest pain and it's giving me anxiety.  She doesn't have money issues nor does she have a busy schedule.  I text her about the dress and she NEVER texts me back.  I see that she read the message, but never answers.  I'm seriously at a breaking point with her. I feel like I need to hold her hand!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    BMcLeodTeamBMcLeodTeam member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited May 2012
    In Response to Re:Bridesmaids not ordering their dresses...:[QUOTE]Ahhh, so glad someone feels my pain!!!!!This has been my stress inducer for a while now.nbsp; I was going to post a topic on this, but you beat me to it! I have 4 BM's and 1 MOH.nbsp; The first person to buy their dress lives in a different state, the second person to purchase theirs is a mom of two, who goes to school and works as a nanny.nbsp; She got hers the second I asked her to. My MOH is my sister and she lives in a different state.nbsp; I told her a few days ago that she has until the end of this week to purchase hers.nbsp; She's also pregnant so it's important she gets it by the end of this week. The last two people ... One of them is trying to lose weight and she wanted to lose as much as she could before she ordered hers, which I understand.nbsp; This past week I told her that she needed to get it by Wednesday.nbsp; No fuss with her. The last person has been my biggest pain and it's giving me anxiety.nbsp; She doesn't have money issues nor does she have a busy schedule.nbsp; I text her about the dress and she NEVER texts me back.nbsp; I see that she read the message, but never answers.nbsp; I'm seriously at a breaking point with her. I feel like I need to hold her hand! Posted by HelloGoodFriend[/QUOTE]

    You only need to hold her hand if you let it get that way. You have more than enough stress planninng a wedding, no need to add extra to your plate! Just give them the final date to order by and let it go, its their job to figure it out!
  • Options

    This has been the agony of all my wedding planning. I have 3 girls in my WP and two are all ready to order and one hasn't even tried the dres on. She didn't like our first choice for really stupid reasons, so I told them all i was open to suggestions. MOH sat down with this girl and they found one online they liked. However, MOH is the only person I have seen it on. We settled on this dress since I figured the other BM would like it, and 5 months since then she still hsa not even tried it on. I gave them a date to order by, and two were ready to order, and she told MOH that she didn't plan to order it till mid-may. The salon we are ordering from told me the latest we could order by is May 22nd. So I once again am waiting on the other girl.


    I agree that you should tell FI, or maybe even tell their mom (if possible). A nagging mother can be a powerful thing sometimes. Gently express to her your frustration and if she is a normal person she will try to get on these girls. Also, ask the salon what is the extreme last day they can order by so you don't run into any surprises.

  • Options
    Agree with PP to have FI involved.  And probably picking up the phone is the best approach since you can't log off the phone like FB.  I know sometimes it is hard to motivate men but they are his sisters not yours so if it means something to him to have them in the wedding that should be his motivation.  If they don't do it by a certain date that is on them like Britt said.  You don't have to kick people out of the wedding which I bet would cause drama.  Not ordering a dress is removing yourself from a wedding and can't be pinned on you so that would keep the drama low.  Good luck!
  • Options
    Yep, I agree, I would ask your fiance to remind them. 

    Luckily all my BMs were respectful of the deadline I gave them to give me their sizes and I ordered the dresses myself. If they hadn't been I would have just given them the order by deadline and let them know what the rush fees were and it would have been their issue. I don't have time or brain power to be after them and I'm sure no one else does either!
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • Options
    Only one of eight of my BMs have ordered. I'm not too worried like BMcLeod said they either get the dress and are in the wedding or they don't and they aren't.
  • Options
    I don't understand why its such a tragedy to get people on board to order a dress!   That would make me friggin nutso.    I seriously would tell her flat out "the dress MUST be ordered by X date... or you won't be able to be in the wedding.  No "or the dress might not be here in time" or " you might have to pay rush fees".     They either order the dres by your cutoff date, or they are excluding themselves from the wedding.  I seriously don't look at it as "you are kicking them out". They took themselves out by not ordering the dress when they were supposed to.

    And honestly, I'd rather enforce that cutoff date NOW, instead of waiting 3-4 months to see if their dress magically decides to arrive.  YES, they normally do come in very quickly (2-4 weeks), but I am still waiting for one from David's Bridal that was ordered in February.  So, you never know.

    Tell them to order the dress by this week.   Also, be honest "I'm dissapointed that you haven't gotten around to ordering your dress. It has caused a great deal of stress for me, and I'm wondering why you haven't been able to make this happen.  I also need to let you know that the last day you can order the dress is May X.  If you haven't done it by then, I'll presume you just want to attend the wedding as a guest instead of being in the wedding party."
  • Options
    josgirljosgirl member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Ughh! So happy I'm not the only one! I have 4 girls and NOO E has ordered the dress. My youngest BMs is my cousin, my AUNT called me and told me I was stressing for no reason! They will order it eventually !! What the heck does that mean! My other BM are young and in school and althoughh we found dresses in the budget they gave me it seems like they don't want to spend the money. In the end I'm not going to breathe down anyone's back! I'm throwing my hands in the air and if they don't order their dresses I just won't have BMs
  • Options
    Sorry this is long, but I need to get it off my chest!

    Wow this is so fitting for me today.  I know I haven't been on in awhile, I have taken somewhat of a break from wedding planning.  But I am back in full swing now and my FSIL is givng me some serious grief!  She is refusing to respond to me in any way regarding her dress. We set up an appointment and she said she could make it, then she said she was not feeling well so wouldn't be able to come to the appointment, but she would come in and get sized the next time she was in town.  That was about a month ago and she has not made  ANY attempt to order her dress or even to get sized.  She lied to her mom, my FMIL and told her that she already bought a dress (at first I wasn't planning on the BMs wearing matching dresses) and that I knew that and was asking her to spend even more money.  I want to scream.  My FI told me what a lot of PP have said.  If she doesn't order a dress, she is making a choice to not be a BM.  However, if she doesn't want to be involved, I would like to ask a friend that I would have preferred was in the wedding in the first place instead of his bi*** of a sister!!!!!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards