Disappointed )-': Fiance doesn't like recessional song (Vent session)

bsims726

So, since I had my hands in a major part of planning our wedding (only asking my fiance's opinion when he felt like participating---he's a typical guy), I pretty much decided that our recessional song should be "September" by Earth, Wind, & Fire. I felt it was a fun, celebratory song & fit 'cause our wedding is in September. For some reason tonight, he felt like asking about the wedding plans and when he caught wind of the recessional song, he disapproved. He just didn't see how it goes and didn't like it. He felt bad for disappointing me but didn't want to budge on the song. I'm hoping over time, he will just give me what I want. Part of me just wants to secretly keep the song and hope he won't find out and won't be able to do anything about it when it starts playing on the wedding day (I know that that's not possible though lol). OK, thanks for reading.

wineo929

That stinks! IMO, I might work with him to find something you both love. If he hasn't been a big part of the planning and he's finally voicing an opinion, I would take him up on that and make it something you plan together! Good luck!

mamameech

Oh man that really sucks

If he does not approve then he needs to help you pick one out. This could actually be a good thing because you'll be able to do this together and the song choice will mean that much more. 

CowgirlK39

Ugh my FI does the same thing. I just wanna turn to him sometimes and go "and since when do you have an opinion about this!?" Out of nowhere he will disapprove of something that I never thought he would care for.

Did he offer any suggestions? Or say what type of song he would rather hear? Ask him if he will even notice the song thats playing in the first place! Guys never remember those types of things, and when my FI raises a stink about something I will ask him if its something he will really notice at all. If he really does have suggestions or ideas, take him up on it and work with what he gives you! be glad he is interested in planning!

jessa1228

I feel you. My FI doesn't like the song I want for our first dance and it's really got me bummed. I told him to find one he likes and he has yet to do so.

NO2012

Sorry. I know it is frustrating! But if he has that strong of an opinion, you have to come up with a compromise I think. At least he didn't do what my FI did on ceremony music and specifically tell me he was content with me making the decisions, then wait until weeks and weeks had gone by (after I spent a lot of time emailing our ceremony musician and had a sit down lunch with our priest and parish music coordinator to pick out the music [which FI declined to attend!]), to suddenly randomly ask me about it and start expressing some strong opinions. I hit the roof. Hopefully in the end you will come up with something together and looking back you'll love it even more because it will be a reflection of both of you.

volleygurl0306

I think you should take it into consideration that he does have an opinion about this.  If he is pretty laid back, that means this is important to him which is something to be sensitive to.  I know it is hard to get something shot down you have your heart on.  What if that was the song you were introduced to instead?  Ask him to help you find a new one because he definitely shouldn't shoot down an idea without helping you find a new option or at least suggest a general feel he is thinking of.  Not sure what your ceremony is like, but perhaps he thought you guys would pick something more traditional?  Just ask him to come up with a couple suggstions.  He may surprise you with how much thought he has put into it.

smartlypretty

I like the idea of a compromise. For example, are you planning on playing the song over the speaker in its original form? Or do you have a organist/violonist/quartet/keyboardist, etc. See what I mean? It would sound *completely* different if a quartet is playing it as opposed to it just playing over a speaker. 

For example, I want our first dance song to be "Take my breath away" by Berlin. FI doens't like it because he thinks its too cheesey and 80s. Okay, I get that- so we compromised and we are doing the version that Jessica Simpson sings since it's more modern. 

Johnsonk313

I feel your pain! It drives me crazy when my FI does this too! He has no opinion on anything and doesn't what to be consulted on most things, but then will come out of the wood works with and opinion on the most random thing.

Did you ask him if he has any ideas on what he would like? He might surprise you. Even though it drives me crazy I have learned to accept it, because I got mostly the wedding I want so the few things he does care about, no matter how random they may be it's just seems fair to let him have his way . And sometimes he does surprise me. Not always  but a couple of times his ideas have been better than mine.

bsims726

Thanks so much, ladies, for the opinions and suggestions---it's good to know I'm not the only bride dealing with a groom with random concerns and opinions. Well, since he wanted to be concerned about the music, I asked for his suggestions and presented him with the rest of the ceremony/reception music. I guess he saw how much work and how overwhelming it actually is because he quickly came out and said that my music choice was growing on him and that he's pretty much trusting my decision. Smh guys are funny ometimes. I wonder what else he'll randomly voice his opinion about. Wish me luck lol.