We're Married!!! (PIP)

rlavach

I still can't believe it's over!! Everything was just wonderful. I'm so happy to be a Mrs. I hope everyone else has a fabulous wedding day too. I have a few photos already! (LINK)

littleluckypenny

Congratulations!!!  The pictures are so beautiful and it looks like so much fun!  Did everying go according to plan?

rlavach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_interracial-weddings_were-married-pip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:c9069c39-6e1f-4397-9e66-aeb7ed51fccbDiscussion:b0b1bb3e-2d58-40c7-8ad9-ed017dc97150Post:adf8905b-0ec4-4c86-81d4-4bda21f23e84">Re: We're Married!!! (PIP)</a>:
[QUOTE]Congratulations!!!  The pictures are so beautiful and it looks like so much fun!  Did everying go according to plan?
Posted by littleluckypenny[/QUOTE]
Thanks!! Everything went rather well. We did have some hiccups. We weren't able to open our gifts for each other, the groomsmen got the wrong tuxes and the officiant forgot the kiss. But in the end, it was all good! My DH wasn't nearly as nervous as he thought he'd be. He was very happy that I pushed him out of his comfort zone. It was really a beautiful day. I hope your day will be great too!!

littleluckypenny

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_interracial-weddings_were-married-pip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:c9069c39-6e1f-4397-9e66-aeb7ed51fccbDiscussion:b0b1bb3e-2d58-40c7-8ad9-ed017dc97150Post:26c9de85-c84f-466f-94e5-71293cae90e1">Re: We're Married!!! (PIP)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: We're Married!!! (PIP) : Thanks!! Everything went rather well. We did have some hiccups. We weren't able to open our gifts for each other, the groomsmen got the wrong tuxes and the officiant forgot the kiss. But in the end, it was all good! <strong>My DH wasn't nearly as nervous as he thought he'd be. He was very happy that I pushed him out of his comfort zone.</strong> It was really a beautiful day. I hope your day will be great too!!
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

Sigh, I wish FI would say that to me!  I have a feeling he'll need a shot of something to get through the ceremony.

rlavach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_interracial-weddings_were-married-pip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:c9069c39-6e1f-4397-9e66-aeb7ed51fccbDiscussion:b0b1bb3e-2d58-40c7-8ad9-ed017dc97150Post:1a99c4c2-74f0-4d2c-a9c4-2a86eaddf0f7">Re: We're Married!!! (PIP)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: We're Married!!! (PIP) : Sigh, I wish FI would say that to me!  I have a feeling he'll need a shot of something to get through the ceremony.
Posted by littleluckypenny[/QUOTE]
Trust me, it wasn't easy to get there. My DH hates attention & the idea of being the center of attention. He has this psycosis that people will stare & laugh at him for his accent, appearance, stuttering, dancing, whatever. I really had to fight with him (literally) to get him to do the first dance, mother/son dance, cake cutting & thank you speech. He didn't want any of it. The night before the wedding, he had a panic attack on the phone, telling me he couldn't of any of it because of his nerves. It's definitely his upbringing. I just kept reassuring him that I was there & that we were doing it all together. We did a first look & that really helped to break the ice. The day went by so fast that he said he didn't have enough time to get nervous. By the time he thought of it, it was over. <div>
</div><div>Really, there isn't much to say now. Absolutely everything I said went in one ear & out the other. He just has to trust that he will be fine. I hope he makes it! </div>

littleluckypenny

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_interracial-weddings_were-married-pip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:c9069c39-6e1f-4397-9e66-aeb7ed51fccbDiscussion:b0b1bb3e-2d58-40c7-8ad9-ed017dc97150Post:b88770f0-85e5-4531-982f-5298c0f43b38">Re: We're Married!!! (PIP)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: We're Married!!! (PIP) : Trust me, it wasn't easy to get there. My DH hates attention & the idea of being the center of attention. He has this psycosis that people will stare & laugh at him for his accent, appearance, stuttering, dancing, whatever. Absolutely everything I said went in one ear & out the other. He just has to trust that he will be fine. I hope he makes it! 
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

Are your DH and my FI related? lol

FI has anxiety issues, which he always accuses me of not understanding.  I keep trying to tell him everyone who is there is there to support us, but that doesn't really help.  We even got into a huge fight about me wanting to take dance lessons for the first dance.  I suggested private lessons, with just me, FI and the instructor, and even that he was scared of.  End of story, we'll just practice at home and find some YouTube instructions or something.  He's also adamant about his brother (BM) stand there with him so he can get through waiting for my entrance. 

Hopefully, he'll relax enough to enjoy the day, after all, it's a joyous occasion!

rlavach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_interracial-weddings_were-married-pip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:c9069c39-6e1f-4397-9e66-aeb7ed51fccbDiscussion:b0b1bb3e-2d58-40c7-8ad9-ed017dc97150Post:cea9e291-bc79-4ec9-a424-55cbdb04c06c">Re: We're Married!!! (PIP)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: We're Married!!! (PIP) : Are your DH and my FI related? lol FI has anxiety issues, which he always accuses me of not understanding.  I keep trying to tell him everyone who is there is there to support us, but that doesn't really help.  We even got into a huge fight about me wanting to take dance lessons for the first dance.  I suggested private lessons, with just me, FI and the instructor, and even that he was scared of.  End of story, we'll just practice at home and find some YouTube instructions or something.  He's also adamant about his brother (BM) stand there with him so he can get through waiting for my entrance.  Hopefully, he'll relax enough to enjoy the day, after all, it's a joyous occasion!
Posted by littleluckypenny[/QUOTE]
I think they are related! My DH always told me that I didn't understand...which I really didn't. I just don't get what the big deal is. We had 80 guests & it was all family, albiet my family. Everyone welcomed him & I think that played a big part too. My DH wanted to wait at the stage with his brothers also. He didn't want to walk down the aisle. That part didn't matter to me, so I let him have it. You have to compromise somewhere! <div>
</div><div>Just give your FI a shot before the ceremony & he'll be fine ;)</div>

melntaitt

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_interracial-weddings_were-married-pip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:c9069c39-6e1f-4397-9e66-aeb7ed51fccbDiscussion:b0b1bb3e-2d58-40c7-8ad9-ed017dc97150Post:0fb0fb2f-f738-4585-9629-03086146e8e5">Re: We're Married!!! (PIP)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: We're Married!!! (PIP) : I think they are related! My DH always told me that I didn't understand...which I really didn't. I just don't get what the big deal is. We had 80 guests & it was all family, albiet my family. Everyone welcomed him & I think that played a big part too. My DH wanted to wait at the stage with his brothers also. He didn't want to walk down the aisle. That part didn't matter to me, so I let him have it. You have to compromise somewhere!  <strong>Just give your FI a shot before the ceremony & he'll be fine ;)
</strong>Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

Chris doesn't drink so there will be none of that for him - I'm getting the impression he will be happy once it's all over. Because of our theme all the guys got hats - fedoras specifically and that's the hill I had to die on. He's thinking everyone will laugh and stare at him because of the hat. Meanwhile Uncle Billy is threatening to show up in a flapper dress; I don't think he needs to worry...

Your pics were gorgeous by the way! You're a beautiful bride...any wedding day tips?

littleluckypenny

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_interracial-weddings_were-married-pip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:c9069c39-6e1f-4397-9e66-aeb7ed51fccbDiscussion:b0b1bb3e-2d58-40c7-8ad9-ed017dc97150Post:0fb0fb2f-f738-4585-9629-03086146e8e5">Re: We're Married!!! (PIP)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: We're Married!!! (PIP) : I think they are related! My DH always told me that I didn't understand...which I really didn't. I just don't get what the big deal is. We had 80 guests & it was all family, albiet my family. Everyone welcomed him & I think that played a big part too. My DH wanted to wait at the stage with his brothers also. He didn't want to walk down the aisle. That part didn't matter to me, so I let him have it. You have to compromise somewhere!  Just give your FI a shot before the ceremony & he'll be fine ;)
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

On our list is probably 10 people that FI doesn't know.  10 of 186 people isn't bad.  So it's not like he's nervous about a bunch of strangers watching him at the ceremony.  I guess that's where FI and I have different views.  It's all people who love us, they're not staring at you and disecting your hair, clothers, mannerisms, etc. 

I'll make sure his brother offers him some liquor before he leaves the house that day, not so much that he gets drunk or anything, but I think a shot should at least not have him searching for escape hatches. :)

How was the Cape?  You guys already went, right?  Was any of the ceremony in French?

rlavach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_interracial-weddings_were-married-pip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:c9069c39-6e1f-4397-9e66-aeb7ed51fccbDiscussion:b0b1bb3e-2d58-40c7-8ad9-ed017dc97150Post:cd0cf923-49ef-42d9-a93d-7fd6d9ab919a">Re: We're Married!!! (PIP)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: We're Married!!! (PIP) : <strong>Chris doesn't drink so there will be none of that for him </strong>- I'm getting the impression he will be happy once it's all over. Because of our theme all the guys got hats - fedoras specifically and that's the hill I had to die on. He's thinking everyone will laugh and stare at him because of the hat. Meanwhile Uncle Billy is threatening to show up in a flapper dress; I don't think he needs to worry... Your pics were gorgeous by the way! You're a beautiful bride...any wedding day tips?
Posted by melntaitt[/QUOTE]
My DH doesn't either! He's a super lightweight...yet I can really kick them back! <div>
</div><div>Regarding the fedora, maybe you can compromise to have him wear it for only part of the time? Something to make him feel like you're considering his feelings, yet you're still getting what you want.</div><div>
</div><div>Thanks, for the picture compliment! My biggest thing was to be organized. I had lists & spreadsheets & tables & diagrams. I gave copies to every vendor (even if the info wasn't applicable) and to all bridal party members. Since everything was so well organized before, I felt stress-free the day of. I knew everyone knew their part and was capable of executing my plan. Leave extra time for hair/makeup. I wish I had left more. Since I left extra time for pics, we broke even & got to the ceremony on time. </div><div>
</div><div>Let all of your worries go. Once that day comes, there is nothing else you can do. Just go with it. Most importantly, stay glued to your FI and take several breaks to soak it all up. Everyone says 'it goes so fast'! They're NOT KIDDING! It blew my mind. We took 2 opportunities to step out into the hallway & just observe the room. Everyone was there for us. It was a really touching moment. Let it soak in & take some mind pics. Burn those in there good. No matter what, you will look beautiful & everyone will love it! </div>

littleluckypenny

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_interracial-weddings_were-married-pip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:c9069c39-6e1f-4397-9e66-aeb7ed51fccbDiscussion:b0b1bb3e-2d58-40c7-8ad9-ed017dc97150Post:cd0cf923-49ef-42d9-a93d-7fd6d9ab919a">Re: We're Married!!! (PIP)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: We're Married!!! (PIP) : Chris doesn't drink so there will be none of that for him - I'm getting the impression he will be happy once it's all over. Because of our theme all the guys got hats - fedoras specifically and that's the hill I had to die on. He's thinking everyone will laugh and stare at him because of the hat. <strong>Meanwhile Uncle Billy is threatening to show up in a flapper dress</strong>; I don't think he needs to worry... Your pics were gorgeous by the way! You're a beautiful bride...any wedding day tips?
Posted by melntaitt[/QUOTE]

Gotta love it!  :)  Chris'll be fine.  Your theme is great, and everyone would see that the hat is a reflection of that.  I'm sure he'll look good in it too.

rlavach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_interracial-weddings_were-married-pip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:c9069c39-6e1f-4397-9e66-aeb7ed51fccbDiscussion:b0b1bb3e-2d58-40c7-8ad9-ed017dc97150Post:3ee2dd68-dcb6-44ab-80e7-52c8fe84030a">Re: We're Married!!! (PIP)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: We're Married!!! (PIP) : On our list is probably 10 people that FI doesn't know.  10 of 186 people isn't bad.  So it's not like he's nervous about a bunch of strangers watching him at the ceremony.  I guess that's where FI and I have different views.  It's all people who love us, they're not staring at you and disecting your hair, clothers, mannerisms, etc.  I'll make sure his brother offers him some liquor before he leaves the house that day, not so much that he gets drunk or anything, but I think a shot should at least not have him searching for escape hatches. :) How was the Cape?  You guys already went, right?  Was any of the ceremony in French?
Posted by littleluckypenny[/QUOTE]
Yeah, it was the opposite for my DH. He only knew 10 of 80. I think that is a great point to stress to your FI. They are all there to support him & would never look at him in a judgmental manner. Plus, I had at least 5 different people (friends, family, coworkers) all tell my then-FI the flat out truth. NO ONE looks at the groom!!!! The only one people care about is the bride. What does her dress look like, her hair, her makeup, jewelry, shoes...really, we could just put up a doll for a groom. JK, on the last part... A shot is a good idea.<div>
</div><div>The Cape was beautiful. Very romantic & peaceful. We enjoyed every minute of it. My DH was having some issues because his family flew in from France/Martnique & essentially spent way more money than they can afford to. He hadn't seen his parents & brothers for 4+ years. So he was upset that they were in NJ for the week of the honeymoon & we were in MA. Hey, it's not my fault they stayed an extra week AFTER the wedding, rather than before. It was hard for him, but he made it through.</div><div>
</div><div>None of the ceremony was in French since we are both in an English-speaking congregation at our church. He did do his thank you speech in French. He refused to hae any French or Martinique music at the reception, even after I begged him. In the end, he regretted it because his parents said they wish they had something to dance to. I tried not to say 'I told you so.' Men need to listen! </div>

littleluckypenny

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_interracial-weddings_were-married-pip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:c9069c39-6e1f-4397-9e66-aeb7ed51fccbDiscussion:b0b1bb3e-2d58-40c7-8ad9-ed017dc97150Post:c34dceb4-0b99-4a47-84bb-d95677c308ec">Re: We're Married!!! (PIP)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: We're Married!!! (PIP) : Yeah, it was the opposite for my DH. He only knew 10 of 80. I think that is a great point to stress to your FI. They are all there to support him & would never look at him in a judgmental manner. Plus, I had at least 5 different people (friends, family, coworkers) all tell my then-FI the flat out truth. <strong>NO ONE looks at the groom!!!! The only one people care about is the bride. What does her dress look like, her hair, her makeup, jewelry, shoes...really, we could just put up a doll for a groom.</strong> JK, on the last part... A shot is a good idea. The Cape was beautiful. Very romantic & peaceful. We enjoyed every minute of it. My DH was having some issues because his family flew in from France/Martnique & essentially spent way more money than they can afford to. He hadn't seen his parents & brothers for 4+ years. So he was upset that they were in NJ for the week of the honeymoon & we were in MA. Hey, it's not my fault they stayed an extra week AFTER the wedding, rather than before. It was hard for him, but he made it through. None of the ceremony was in French since we are both in an English-speaking congregation at our church. He did do his thank you speech in French. He refused to hae any French or Martinique music at the reception, even after I begged him. In the end, he regretted it because his parents said they wish they had something to dance to. I tried not to say 'I told you so.' <strong>Men need to listen! 
</strong>Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

AMEN!!! lol

I'm glad the Cape was nice:)  I'm sure it gave you both to just relax and de-program from wedding stress.

Didn't his family know you were going on the HM after the wedding?  You would think they would come up the week before if they wanted to spend more time with you guys.

rlavach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_interracial-weddings_were-married-pip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:c9069c39-6e1f-4397-9e66-aeb7ed51fccbDiscussion:b0b1bb3e-2d58-40c7-8ad9-ed017dc97150Post:a6414597-0247-460b-904f-9748bdbe1056">Re: We're Married!!! (PIP)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: We're Married!!! (PIP) : AMEN!!! lol I'm glad the Cape was nice:)  I'm sure it gave you both to just relax and de-program from wedding stress. Didn't his family know you were going on the HM after the wedding?  You would think they would come up the week before if they wanted to spend more time with you guys.
Posted by littleluckypenny[/QUOTE]
They did know, but apparently due to their schedule, that was the way it worked out. It was ok in the end, just more eventful than I was hoping for. Both of his brothers are engaged, so I'm hoping one of them sets a date so we can travel to either France or Martinique. Yey! 

mizutamababy

Beautiful pics!  I didn't see you post on the LV board so I came wandering over here, hehe.
Congrats to you!

Also, I agree on the husbands being shy thing... DH was really anxious/uptight about the whole thing until we got to LV and on the day of he had a blast. He sincerely thanked me for all the time and effort I spend planning the wedding at the end of it.

I think as long as you stay chill your FH will be fine, too.