Chinese and Mexican Wedding tips needed.

natasha7969

Hey everyone out there!

I'm getting married to my boyfriend (who is Chinese) and am wanting some tips (mainly from Asian brides) on how I can honor my boyfriend's culture in my wedding.  What are some things that take place in Asian-American weddings that I can incorporate into my wedding?

Thank you so much!

Love and happiness,

Natasha

lca315girl

Just in case you don't get a lot of responses here, be sure to ask the brides on the Chinese wedding board for some suggestions as well.

RaeRae1126

Have you tried asking your FI what traditions he'd like to incorporate? Or asking his parents? That's probably a good place to start.

natasha7969

Thank you for the suggestion, lca315girl.  I already registered there and found some great ideas!

RaeRae1126 - I haven't yet because his entire family lives in China and won't be able to attend our wedding in the states.

We are actually having one wedding in China (the end of this year) for his family and late 2012 for my family here.  He will only have a handful of god-parents that will attend our wedding (10 at the most). But I still think it’s very important to incorporate his culture in our wedding to show him I’m embracing his culture and joining it with mine. (Plus, I want it to be kind of a surprise. )

LilCrumpet

Natasha. I am American with a bit of Mexican blood and I am marrying a Chinese man as well. I have been researching this a lot.. here are some of the traditional Chinese things you can do (and your future in-laws will probablly expect at your wedding in China).

Remeber if his family is really traditional.. they might ask you to marry on an auspicious day.. people in China believe some days are more "good luck" than other days.. so check with them or with someone who knows what auspicious day is the best. Chinese are very supersticious.

Some of the traditions are: the wedding banquet reception. Usually a HUGE reception is held. It consists of 8-12 courses (not counting your cake). Some of the things served are suckling pig, duck, lobster, pigeon, and noodley dishes. Each dish has a symbolism with good fortune and the future.

Also remember that the marriage color and the color for good fortune is red (and some gold too) but maily red. White means death and mourning. So, advise all your friends coming (at least to the one in China) to not wear white. I have heard of instances where the Chinese mom has asked people to chage or they will not be allowed in. It depends on how strict they are. Chinese brides wear red wedding dresses called qipaos. Here are some examples of them. They will most likely expect you to wear one.

http://www.my-qipao.com/china_attire_e1.html

Also remember that the Chinese think it's VERY bad luck to come into contact with a pregnant woman before your wedding and right after your wedding. It is also bad luck to attend another bride's wedding right before or after. So, if you know anyone else getting married that might help you plan your date.

Some of the actual traditional things are: the setting up of the bridal bed. (Since his family won't be there you may want to admit that) some couples don't buy a new bed.. they just ask for new sheets.

Another tradition is the brushing of the hair. The first combing symbolizes: from beginning till the end. The second combing symbolizes: harmony from now till old age. The third combing symbolizes: sons and grandsons all over the place.
The fourth combing summaries good wealth and a long-lasting marriage.

There are also tea ceremonies. You may have to serve tea to your new in laws.. or both of you can serve it. It's up to you.

Another tradition is that when the groom arives at where the bride is staying that the bridesmaids will bar him from coming in.. (making him work to get to you).. then  when he gets in everyone plays some silly little games. Called "ice breaker games" so everyone gets to know each other.

I really think you need to talk to your future in laws and see which traditions they expect. Then google those things and learn more about them. Thankfully my new family is not as strict. They really don't care what we do lol.. but not all families are as laxed as that. I hope my lil ramble here helps you at least a lil bit.

natasha7969

Wow...thank you so much, LilCrumpet for all your advice!!! =-)

natasha7969

Wow...I'm worried about something: they wanted me to get an American wedding dress.  But...it's white-ish!!!  They aren't telling me anything about the wedding because they want it to be a surprise when I fly over there. 

A lot of the stuff you posted on here, I've never heard of and glad you shared with me!  Please let me know what you're planning to incorporate in your wedding.  I'd love to hear it (you can tell me after your wedding if you want . 

Thank you so much!!