Being coerced into inviting people

sborhani84

Hi Knotties! 

Ok, so I was out with my best friend tonight who is my MOH, and she told me that her two sisters want to come to my wedding.  I am already inviting her parents, but I wasn't expecting this to be a family affair.  I am only really close to her.  She said it is strange to just invite part of her family and not the rest because they will feel left out.  I told her that our guest list is a whopping 250 ppl, and this is AFTER CUTTING PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT.  I guess she thinks, ok, 250 ppl, what's two more?  I'm not sure she understands the stress I am under to trim the guest list.  The thing is, she's my best friend, and I want her to be happy as MOH and not think I am secluding her sisters from the Christian event and reception. 

I am also having a Persian wedding the next day, should I just invite her sisters to that (but still invite her parents to the Christian ceremony)?  When I suggested that to her, she still didn't seem happy.  Should I care this much??  What do you all think?  Cough up the extra $170, or just invite her sisters to the smaller Persian ceremony the next day?

Any thoughts would be appreciated!!

Thanks,

Sheri

aerinpegadrak

Lots of people will try to weasel their way into your guest list, because they don't realize how expensive weddings are per guest.  Learn the word "No," and learn to use it as often as ncessary.

puokgirl

I actually had someone say "I understand that weddings are expensive and that you can't afford to invite everyone.  Just know that if you don't invite me, I'll show up anyway."

squirrly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_being-coerced-inviting-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:2188a4f1-4bec-4bbf-ba2d-67d6c244b348Post:aa4b6e94-0721-4bbf-931d-bbb7654e77b7">Re: Being coerced into inviting people</a>:
[QUOTE]I actually had someone say "I understand that weddings are expensive and that you can't afford to invite everyone.  Just know that if you don't invite me, I'll show up anyway."
Posted by puokgirl[/QUOTE]

At which point I would have given their name and photo to security.  Really.  AND I would have stopped talking to this person.  About anything.  NOT something a friend or loved one would do.

OP, you need to tell her no.  I'd say something like, "I'm terribly sorry you and your sisters are disappointed, but I'm just not able to invite everyone.  As we've already cut family and friends of our own, I simply canot accomodate additional family of our invited friends."

sborhani84

thanks for the feedback ladies!  I think I actually decided to invite them.  They are a part of her life and if it means that much to her the least I can do as a best friend is to invite them. 

I can't believe they said they would come anyway!  haha