Question About Announcements

moxieB

Hi guys - new here on the boards!

My fiance and I decided rather suddenly to get married sooner than we'd originally intended (new job, no health insurance, life...) and are having a very small wedding that includes only immediate family and one attendant each. Most of our friends and family know of the engagement, but we only decided last week that we'll be getting married next month. (29 days total to plan..youch!)

The point...Can anyone offer insight re: announcements? I feel we should send them to the people we'd have invited had we put on a big wedding. He feels no inclination to send them at all. I think people's feelings will be hurt to hear it through the grapevine, especially if they learn of it months down the road.

Thoughts? Am I overthinking this?

banana468

It's up to the two of you if you'd like to send announcements.  Some people think they're a big gift grubby but really, they're just to inform people that a couple has married.

If you do opt to send them, send them no earlier than the day you two tie the knot.

ExpatPumpkin

Feel free to send announcements the day after the wedding.  You should have them addressed and ready to drop in the mail.  As with regular invite etiquette, you shouldn't include any registry info, etc.  Best wishes for your upcoming wedding

Here's a link with possible wording:

http://www.mygatsby.com/wedding_invitations/etiquette/wedding_announcements.jsp

I'd leave off the actual time of the ceremony and just put the wedding date, though....

ETA:  Fixed an error...

moxieB

Thanks very much for the responses. The last thing I want to do is make people think we expect gifts. We're not even registering, so I guess that's something to consider when deciding whether to send them.

So it sounds like it's one of those things that is ok to do, but not necessary? Really I'm just worried about offending if I don't, but honestly one less thing I have to do is A-OK  with me!

MyNameIsNot

I think I probably would do it in your situation.  If it were something like you were inviting 100 people and sending announcements to the other 200 that didn't make the cut, it would be one thing.  But since you've had to move it up and you're doing it really small, people will want to know.  

I have a friend that's been engaged for 3 years and keeps setting and moving the date.  If they went ahead and did a small wedding next week, I'd be a little sad if I heard about it through the grapevine.  (And I'd assume there was a scandal or that she was pregnant or something.) 

decobelle

I definitely think they are appropriate in this situation. Actually in any situation where you don't want folks finding out in a way that might make them feel hurt.

We plan to use announcements as well. My FI and I are in our 40s with many different groups of friends and lots of business associates. We plan to invite around 100 guests to our wedding. We want to inform perhaps twice that amount that we are marrying. Primarily they are business contacts, but there are other acquaintances that would like to know.

Another thought...etiquette only dictates a gift is mandatory if you actually attend the wedding. An announcement requires no gift or acknowledgement on the part of the receiver.

candyr99

My fiance and  I are planning a very small wedding, just us and our 5 adult children. We will send out annoucements as very few people outside our families know we are planning to get married. It's going to be a surprise to most. We are planning to have a party to celebrate and invite others to attend so this will be an invitation to the reception as well.