Wedding Invitations & Paper

Hosting vs Paying

I swear I have read a ton of posts on this, but am still totally confused. Does "hosting" basically mean "paying"?

My FI and I are paying for the wedding ourselves. I think our invitations should read as we are hosting. I am also open to the "together with their families" wording, it just seems a little weird to me as we are older and have been living together for years.

FI would like the invitations to be worded "traditionally" as my parents requesting the honor of your presence.... His reason is that he thinks my parents should have some "ownership" of the wedding. Meaning, if someone comes up to my dad to say "nice wedding", my dad will feel like he's had some part in it. I hope I'm explaining that right. It honestly doesn't even make that much sense to me :)

Anyway, I guess I'm just asking who does the invite come from? Is it just who's paying?

Re: Hosting vs Paying

  • A lot of times the person who pays is the host.  But hosting usually goes beyond paying.  For example, the hosts of the wedding might have RSVPs sent to their address and keep track of the responses.  They might have a role in choosing the venue, caterer, or other important vendors.  They may be the "point person" for various people or things both before or at the wedding.  A host might give a welcoming speech at the reception.  There isn't a specific list of things that a host has to do, but it generally involves being involved in some way.  

    For example, my parents hosted our wedding.  They paid for about 90 percent of the wedding, but they also did things like attend the tasting and help select the menu; they had RSVPs sent to their house.  My mom helped pick our cake baker and our florist, and she assisted us with finding some of the other vendors as well.  She attended meetings with our venue and helped to outline our day-of timeline with the venue.  She was also the "go-to" person that day.  My dad gave a welcome speech to everyone at the reception.  In addition to paying, it's these things that made them the hosts of our wedding.

  • Libby got it all; I just wanted to add that "The honour of your presence" is used for religious church ceremonies. You would use "The pleasure of your company" for a non-church wedding.
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  • Libby - thanks for posting that. I didn't ever really understand the difference. If what you said really is the case... my FH & I are hosting our wedding. And thinking about it, that makes total sense. I mean, when you host a party it's usually at "your place" or you make the arrangements. (Just had a "duh" moment) 
  • In Response to <a href="">Re: Hosting vs Paying</a>:
    [QUOTE]HOSTING is not PAYING. Hosting is doing all of the duties of the HOST at a big event, including invitations - sending and RSVPs, ceremony arrangements and reception venue arrangements, color and design, centerpieces, order of who does what when, food, working with the ushers from the bride's side and the groom's side so that the ushers can greet people and seat them appropriately, then the hosts will serve as greeters and table visitors at the reception, etc. Traditionally the bride's parents do these tasks and more.  <strong>If the bride's parents are deceased or if the bride's parents do not approve of the wedding, then the groom's parents can host.  If the bride and groom do not have any relationship with their parents, then they will have to host it and they should be listed on the top of the invitations as the people who are hosting their own wedding.</strong>
    Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

    <div>This is simply incorrect.  A couple can have a great relationship with their parents and still host (and pay for) their own wedding.  In today's world, a couple does often host and pay for their own wedding, and it has nothing to do with the relationship they have with their parents.  Similarly, the groom's parents can host even if the bride's parents are alive and they approve of of the wedding.  </div>
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