Invite proof read please!

LDubHawksFan

Hello ladies,
Sorry in advance for all of the questions!  This is my first pass at our invite, and we haven't verified whether we will start the ceremony at 4 or 4:30, so please note both options.  Ceremony & Reception are at the same location.  My parents are divorced, mom had remarried and is now divorced again; both sets of parents are contributing, as well as us.  We had our wedding website on our Save the dates, but there will be a handful of invites that did not receive the STD.  There is no printing on the back, so should we have the website included on the invite, or should I just include a handwritten note with those invites?  They are just simple invites without inserts and a RSVP postcard.  Thank you!!

Invite:

With joyful hearts
Mr. Chuck BridesLastname
Ms. Sherry MomsSecondName
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Lindsey Middle BridesLastname
to Robert Middle GroomsLastname
son of Mrs. Shaula and Ronald GroomsLastname

Saturday, the twentieth of October
two thousand twelve
at four o'clock in the afternoon / OR at half past four in the afternoon

Name Golf Club
Address
San Clemente, California

Reception to follow

RSVP Card:

We look forward to celebrating with you!
M___________
__ Accepts with pleasure
__ Declines with regret
__ Number of guests attending

Please initial with your entree choices:
__ Flat Iron Steak served with rosemary potatoes & organic vegetables
__ Lemon glazed Halibut with organic vegetables
__ Butternut Angoletti with Amaretti & Buffalo Mozzerella (Vegetarian)
__ Chicken Tenders, corn dogs & french fries (Children's Option)

Kindly reply by the twenty first of September

welikebikes

It sounds good to me! I use to live in San Clemente beautiful beautiful area!

LDubHawksFan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invite-proof-read-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:2ea6053c-a5b3-493c-a548-32458552c2b6Post:95fe4752-073c-4542-a163-357fced9c0fe">Re: Invite proof read please!</a>:
[QUOTE]List your mom on the line before your dad. I'd put your FI's name on its own line. If you choose 4:30, its "half after four o'clock". Some say "half past" is reserved for funerals. On your RSVP card, I would put the reply by date at the top so it stands out more. It kind of gets lost under all of the the other text. As for your wedding website, don't put it on your invitation, but including a note with it on there is fine. Or you could get the 250 free business cards from Vistaprint and have it printed on there.
Posted by lovethebeach16[/QUOTE]

Thanks for the input!  So for the second item, do you think I should move the "to" at the end of my name/line?  I agree with the date on the RSVP.  Also, someone else brought up that since his parents are contributing too, that they should be listed up with my parents.  Would that be correct?  The business cards are a good idea; I might take one of my work ones with and go weigh it to make completely sure that extra cardstock won't up the postage!  Thanks.

aragx6

I think you should run the invitation past all the parents firs to make sure their inclusion or lack thereof in the hosting line doesn't hurt their feelings.

LDubHawksFan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invite-proof-read-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:2ea6053c-a5b3-493c-a548-32458552c2b6Post:645ef52a-b8f2-4b25-bb46-53d0fcf6759c">Re: Invite proof read please!</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you should run the invitation past all the parents firs to make sure their inclusion or lack thereof in the hosting line doesn't hurt their feelings.
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]


Oh, I absolutely will!  I planned on showing his parents this weekend, but figured I would try to get all of the etiquette issues out of the way first.  Thanks again!