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Invites and Paper

Should I invite my mom's boyfriend?

My parents recently got divorced and my mom started dating this guy and now they've moved in together.  I read that you're always supposed to invite the partner of the person you're inviting, but I really don't want her boyfriend at our wedding.  He's got a very abrasive personality, my fiance can't stand him and my siblings (not to mention my father) don't like him either.  In fact, my youngest sister is now living with my father 100% because she feels so uncomfortable around my mom's boyfriend.  But, my mom is paying for half the wedding and I don't want to seriously damage our relationship, but I also don't want to make things stressful for us and the rest of my family at our wedding. 

What should I do???  Help!

Re: Should I invite my mom's boyfriend?

  • You know the answer, yes you have to invite him.  Your wedding is a year away though, who knows what may change between now and then.
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  • If they are still together when the invitation go out, yes, you do have to invite him.  BUT, I would consider having a mother/daughter chat and finding out if your mother wants him there.  She may want to avoid any drama as well or it may just make her too uncomfortable given that she knows how others feel about her boyfriend.  If she wants him there at least she knows the concerns you've had and may be willing to help figure out how to keep any problems to a minimum.  As a general rule, Moms rock!
  • Thanks, ladies!  I appreciate the suggestions!
  • I have the same problem! my grandma, fiance and I dont like my mom's boyfriend, but they have been together for 5 years! I dont know what to do myself, I dont want to upset my mother, but I dont want to be irritated and my grandmother uncomfortable. If you any ideas, thats cool.
    I say dont invite your mom's boyfriend, its not worth making people, including yourself unhappy on your special day :)
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_should-invite-moms-boyfriend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:2eb5e4ea-b3f5-4c4d-8b0a-f392212788abPost:6abfe331-6f56-4732-8c4c-2b7dac88f3ff">Re: Should I invite my mom's boyfriend?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have the same problem! my grandma, fiance and I dont like my mom's boyfriend, but they have been together for 5 years! I dont know what to do myself, I dont want to upset my mother, but I dont want to be irritated and my grandmother uncomfortable.<strong> If you any ideas, thats cool</strong>. I say dont invite your mom's boyfriend, its not worth making people, including yourself unhappy on your special day :)
    Posted by klabarr[/QUOTE]

    <div>Invite the boyfriend.  Unless you want to start some major drama with your mother, there's no way around it.  You are the one who is going to be serously uncomfortable if your mom is pissed, or even worse, skips, because of such a public insult to her.  And knowing that your guests know you made such a public insult to your mother isn't going to make you very comfortable either.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_should-invite-moms-boyfriend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:2eb5e4ea-b3f5-4c4d-8b0a-f392212788abPost:6abfe331-6f56-4732-8c4c-2b7dac88f3ff">Re: Should I invite my mom's boyfriend?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have the same problem! my grandma, fiance and I dont like my mom's boyfriend, but they have been together for 5 years! I dont know what to do myself, I dont want to upset my mother, but I dont want to be irritated and my grandmother uncomfortable. If you any ideas, thats cool. I say dont invite your mom's boyfriend, its not worth making people, including yourself unhappy on your special day :)
    Posted by klabarr[/QUOTE]
    You know, if a post is over a year old, it's pretty safe to say that you can start a new one rather than dredging up someone else's problem to piggy back on.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_should-invite-moms-boyfriend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:2eb5e4ea-b3f5-4c4d-8b0a-f392212788abPost:6abfe331-6f56-4732-8c4c-2b7dac88f3ff">Re: Should I invite my mom's boyfriend?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have the same problem! my grandma, fiance and I dont like my mom's boyfriend, but they have been together for 5 years! I dont know what to do myself, I dont want to upset my mother, but I dont want to be irritated and my grandmother uncomfortable. If you any ideas, thats cool. I say dont invite your mom's boyfriend, its not worth making people, including yourself unhappy on your special day :)
    Posted by klabarr[/QUOTE]

    So it's fine to make your mom unhappy by doing something rude? Please create a new post rather than add to one that's a year old. Please also understand that getting married isn't license to do inappropriate things for the day. You don't have to like your mother's significant other but you do need to invite him? How would you feel if she didn't invite your FI to an event??
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