Capped Bar and Shower invite question

MrsHey2Be

Hey Knotties!

I just finished printing my invitations and OOPS! just remembered that I think I am supposed to write on there that we are having a capped amount bar. 

Do I need to go back and insert that on the invitations?

2nd question to help out mom and sis who are giving my shower..... how do they word the invitation if they would like people to bring their favorite dish/dessert/ snack anything to share if they wish ???

Invites are going out in 2 weeks Help Knotties!

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_capped-bar-shower-invite-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:3ad173ec-8270-4235-831a-90185419444fPost:e362b7ce-c959-46d3-a5bc-7b3156b07806">Capped Bar and Shower invite question</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey Knotties! I just finished printing my invitations and OOPS! just remembered that I think I am supposed to write on there that we are having a capped amount bar.  Do I need to go back and insert that on the invitations? 2nd question to help out mom and sis who are giving my shower..... how do they word the invitation if they would like people to bring their favorite dish/dessert/ snack anything to share if they wish ??? Invites are going out in 2 weeks Help Knotties!
Posted by MrsHey2Be[/QUOTE]

1) I have no idea what a capped bar is

2) asking guests to bring food to an event that they have been invited to is very poor etiquette.

banana468

Can you clarify regarding#1? There isn't an appropriate way to do #2 at all.

ootmother2

gah!  that baby gets cuter by the day banana

MrsHey2Be

In regards to #1 our capped bar is that we are having an open bar up to a certain amount of money because we can't afford it and our guests are mostly family. So after the $$ amount we set then it will be a cash bar.

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_capped-bar-shower-invite-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:3ad173ec-8270-4235-831a-90185419444fPost:1113800f-3a92-44b9-8654-a0d119668f33">Re: Capped Bar and Shower invite question</a>:
[QUOTE]In regards to #1 our capped bar is that we are having an open bar up to a certain amount of money because we can't afford it and our guests are mostly family. So after the $$ amount we set then it will be a cash bar.
Posted by MrsHey2Be[/QUOTE]

Why not serve wine & beer, perhaps a signature drink and skip the cash bar.

angelsong21

Cash bars don't go over well on The Knot, so I'm sorry to say you probably won't find a lot of helpful advice on this here. :-/

mica178

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_capped-bar-shower-invite-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:3ad173ec-8270-4235-831a-90185419444fPost:138403be-fd7f-4bac-8360-dfa656992d58">Re: Capped Bar and Shower invite question</a>:
[QUOTE]Cash bars don't go over well on The Knot, so I'm sorry to say you probably won't find a lot of helpful advice on this here. :-/
Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]

<div>It's not just on TK that people don't love cash bars.  Some people are used to them, but I can guarantee that your guests would prefer to not pay for their drinks.</div><div>
</div><div>OP, there's no good way to write that you have a capped bar on your invitations.  If this is the route you end up taking, I would tell a handful people and let the news spread by word of mouth.</div>

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_capped-bar-shower-invite-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:3ad173ec-8270-4235-831a-90185419444fPost:1113800f-3a92-44b9-8654-a0d119668f33">Re: Capped Bar and Shower invite question</a>:
[QUOTE]In regards to #1 our capped bar is that we are having an open bar up to a certain amount of money because we can't afford it and our guests are mostly family. So after the $$ amount we set then it will be a cash bar.
Posted by MrsHey2Be[/QUOTE]

<div>There's no correct way to do a rude thing.  </div><div>
</div><div>Either cut back your options (such as beer/wine only) so that you can host the bar all night, or just close it when it reaches your limit.  Asking your guests to pay the balance of your bar tab is not ok.  Oh, and there is no need to mention the bar on the invite.  </div>

hz80408

I agree with the other posters here.

For the bar, serve only wine and beer to help with your budget.  Close the bar during dinner and have items only be served directly to table (not as popular a choose, but this may help). 

Shower invites, like pp's said, it's inappropriate to ask guests to bring food.  Hostess/es should provide all that's needed.

EllenG27

Yes, don't mention anything about your capped bar on the invitation. That is just tacky. I get the whole idea behind the capped bar, but why do you need to put anything about that on the invitation?? People will figure it out - or if you worry that your bartendars aren't going to tell people, put a sign at the bar. But on second thought, maybe no sign, because the sign is going to have to say 'free until our budget runs out'.... well your guests aren't going to know when your budget is reached, except when they go up for another drink and they have to pay.

mia082683

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_capped-bar-shower-invite-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:3ad173ec-8270-4235-831a-90185419444fPost:98de88cd-9358-4e8a-afdb-21c4be473b2e">Re: Capped Bar and Shower invite question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Capped Bar and Shower invite question : It's not just on TK that people don't love cash bars.  Some people are used to them, but I can guarantee that your guests would prefer to not pay for their drinks. OP, there's no good way to write that you have a capped bar on your invitations.  If this is the route you end up taking, I would tell a handful people and let the news spread by word of mouth.
Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]


I'd spread word of mouth... I don't expect an open bar at any event that I go to.   It's a pleasant surprise, but when I plan  on attending a wedding, I plan on buying my drinks.  Your guests will be pleasantly surprised to see an open bar for even a portion of time.  at one wedding that wewere at the bar had a framed signed that read "Open Bar courtesy of the Bride's family until 9pm" or something to that effect.. so people aren't surprised at 905 when the bartender says "that will be 3.50."

mia082683

Also, as for the shower.. if that's something you/your BP wants to do... call it a potluck.
But I would suggest you politely ask your mom and MOH to ask just the closest BP and fam to do the potluck thing and let the guests come as guests.. I know some Knotties are going to say this is still tacky, but in my family and group of friends, it's common practice for us to pitch in and do potluck for events without asking our guests for contributions.

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_capped-bar-shower-invite-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:3ad173ec-8270-4235-831a-90185419444fPost:c2fb61ff-26fb-4ce7-9382-0db330e16d78">Re: Capped Bar and Shower invite question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Capped Bar and Shower invite question : I'd spread word of mouth... I don't expect an open bar at any event that I go to.   It's a pleasant surprise, but when I plan  on attending a wedding, I plan on buying my drinks.  Your guests will be pleasantly surprised to see an open bar for even a portion of time.  at one wedding that wewere at the bar had a framed signed that read "Open Bar courtesy of the Bride's family until 9pm" or something to that effect.. so people aren't surprised at 905 when the bartender says "that will be 3.50."
Posted by mia082683[/QUOTE]

Please don't make assumptions for others. Many of us come from modest households and we wouldn't have dreamed of asking guests to pay for what they opted to drink. I had gone to a dozen weddings before I saw my first cash bar.

mia082683

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_capped-bar-shower-invite-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:3ad173ec-8270-4235-831a-90185419444fPost:875dc9e2-23fc-4873-9ce2-307d4274e343">Re: Capped Bar and Shower invite question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Capped Bar and Shower invite question : Please don't make assumptions for others. Many of us come from modest households and we wouldn't have dreamed of asking guests to pay for what they opted to drink. I had gone to a dozen weddings before I saw my first cash bar.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]


Maybe it's a regional thing?  Around here, I've only been to/heard of one open bar wedding.