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Name Change

pinksonyapinksonya member
500 Comments
in Pennsylvania-Pittsburgh
I just spoke with the teeny tiny court house in my hometown and figured out how to get my official paperwork for the name change.  I can't decide for the life of me if I should change my name to Sonya Middle Name, New Last Name or Sonya Current Last Name, New Last Name.Why is this such a big deal to me?  I guess it's just weird to start going by another name!  (I do want to change it though and have a family with the same name, so keeping it the same isn't an option for me.  Besides, Graham would lose it.)
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Re: Name Change

  • colleenmclaughlin1colleenmclaughlin1
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I never had a middle name, so I'm going to bump my maiden to my middle and take DH's last name.However, I feel you on the hard decision part--It took me the entire engagement to decide to change my name at all!  So do what feels comfortable to you.  If you never used your middle much, it might make sense to bump it out altogether so you still feel like you have your identity that comes with Sonya CurrentLastName.HTH!
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  • marbursmarburs
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    can you email me your middle name?  I want to see how all the options sound (not that that is really all that important in this decision)
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  • npalesnpales
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I never wavered on this. It was always going to be N Middle Name New Last Name.I love my middle name too much to get rid of it.Try it out each way, both saying it and writing it and see which one feels better.
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  • McBridetobeMcBridetobe member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Why is this such a big deal to me? I guess it's just weird to start going by another name! (I do want to change it though and have a family with the same name, so keeping it the same isn't an option for me. Besides, Graham would lose it.)Well, it is a big deal, IMO.  Your name is part of your identity.  It is who you are and represents everything you have accomplished in your life.  Obviously I don't know you IRL, but I get the feeling you don't want to change it!  :P
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  • pinksonyapinksonya member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I mean, even if you move your current last name to your middle name, will you really ever use it anyway?  I don't want to have to!  Right now I never use my middle name.  Do you just do it to make yourself feel better knowing it's always there?
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  • pinksonyapinksonya member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Defintely helps to hear what everyone else decided to do.
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  • AMK2009AMK2009 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I never wavered on this. It was always going to be N Middle Name New Last Name.Same.  But of course I'm A, not N :)I personally don't see the point of using your old last name as a middle name, but I know there's girls here that think otherwise. 
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  • elishanbelishanb member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Until I started reading on this site I never realized this was such an issue with gals out in the world. I have been looking foward to changing my name to his name since I thought it was possible that we could get married. I do think ti si interesting though but I think even with all of the opinions and hearing what we all are going to do (or have done) you have to go with what feels right to you.
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  • jlryan1jlryan1 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Nuelsi and Angela. But I'm a little traditional and couldn't wait to take my DH's name. I think you should do what's right for you, although it seems like it might be a bigger PITA to change 2 parts of your name rather than one. Wouldn't you need another document in addition to your marriage license to do so? I'm not sure, but the marriage license would only show that you are changing your last name to your H's last name...
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  • lildiva1977lildiva1977 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I decided to hyphenate mine.llhavent changed it legally yet, but updated it on FB to Danielle last name-his last name.  I like the hyphen it sounds like a good stage name.  If we have a boy, his first name will be my last name and chris' last name.
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  • jlryan1jlryan1 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Danielle- I love that idea! Your last name makes a great boy's name! I wanted to do the same thing to keep my last name in the family somehow, but for some reason my DH is highly opposed to the name Ryan. Go figure.
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  • daveys_babydaveys_baby
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I stuck with my middle name b/c having a unisex first name, people have mistaken me for a guy a lot of times when I get mail lol.  I thought "Jamie Lee" might atleast make people think about it a little first, whereas the second last name might have made people think it's a guy with a family name as his middle. 
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  • daveys_babydaveys_baby
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm also hoping to use my maiden name as a middle one if we have a boy.  I was the only grandchild on my dad's side, so his family's name kind of died off.I like "Ryan," that's my baby cousin's name lol...I think it means "King."
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  • EmilyBerdellEmilyBerdell member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have been struggling with this decision too, Sonya. I never thought it would be such a big deal to me. Growing up, I just assumed I'd take my new husband's name and be done with it. Emily Middle name new last name. But, now that the time is here, I can't bear to give up my last name completely. It's a part of who I am, and my father is the last male in the family, so my sister and I are left to carry the name through the generations. I thought about hyphenating, but then my name would be WWAAAYYYYY too long! So - I'm making my maiden name into my middle name.The best advice I got while pondering this was: In 10 years, or when you have kids, you'll likely be referred to as Emily FILastName. It's where you'll end up, so why not just change to that now. It made sense to me. :)Sorry for the LONG reply everyone. HTH, Sonya - GL!
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  • KimWardKimWard
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think you should do what's right for you, although it seems like it might be a bigger PITA to change 2 parts of your name rather than one. Wouldn't you need another document in addition to your marriage license to do so? I changed 2 parts of my name and did not need additional documents. IMO a marriage license does not even indicate that you are changing your name. I got mine in Westmoreland county, and it just has my maiden name on it, and that's how I signed it. I don't know how they know you are definitely changing names, or making your maiden name your middle name.I think you all know my feelings about my decision already, so I won't get into that, but I will say, Sonya, if you don't use your middle name, I'd do Sonya MaidenName NewLastName. Just my 2 cents!
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  • McBridetobeMcBridetobe member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I changed 2 parts of my name and did not need additional documents. IMO a marriage license does not even indicate that you are changing your name. I got mine in Westmoreland county, and it just has my maiden name on it, and that's how I signed it. I don't know how they know you are definitely changing names, or making your maiden name your middle name.The ML is just proving that you got married, so you can legally take your DH's last name if you want to.  Otherwise, anyone could just change it, KWIM?
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  • jlryan1jlryan1 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Good to know, Kim. I wasn't sure. I was thinking more along the lines of what KR said and didn't realize it would be so easy.
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  • colleenmclaughlin1colleenmclaughlin1
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    When I was struggling with the thought of changing my name, I sent a friend an email asking her why she changed her name.  I met her in college and ever since I met her, she was on a path to be Dr. Kate MaidenName.  Now that she has her doctorate (after nearly 2 years of marriage) she's Dr. Kate MarriedName.  I was shocked when she changed her name.  She gave me a page full of reasons, most of which were hysterical and some of which were legitimate.  A sampling: Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} my original reason for wanting to be a Maiden Name forever was because I already had several publications, and if someone did a Pubmed search on me after I changed my name, then they wouldn't find those good Harvard papers.  But then I realized that anyone who really needs to see how much I've done would have a copy of my CV anyway, and all my papers are listed on thatAnd: Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} And whose last name would the kid use?  It seems more cozy family-like for everyone to have one nameBut my favorite is: Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} Possibly the greatest perk is that we made a deal that if I took his name then I get to name our first child!  Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} I'm going to choose "Shantiqua Sequoia Alfalfa".    :)  
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  • McBridetobeMcBridetobe member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    But my favorite is: Normal 0 false false falseaceholderText> EN-US X-NONE X-NONEScript> MicrosoftInternetExplorer4serLevel> --[if gte mso 9]> /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:1; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-format:other; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 0 0 0 0 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1073750139 0 0 159 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} Possibly the greatest perk is that we made a deal that if I took his name then I get to name our first child! Normal 0 false false falseaceholderText> EN-US X-NONE X-NONEScript> MicrosoftInternetExplorer4serLevel> --[if gte mso 9]> /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:1; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-format:other; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 0 0 0 0 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1073750139 0 0 159 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} I'm going to choose "Shantiqua Sequoia Alfalfa". :)LOL!
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  • colleenmclaughlin1colleenmclaughlin1
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    And...i broke the knot. :( (Hangs head in shame)But glad I could amuse you.  :)
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  • McBridetobeMcBridetobe member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ha, why did I even try to C&P that?  ;)
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  • LaFemmeRousseLaFemmeRousse member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Sonya, I'm late to this, but I've been struggling with this too since the engagement.  FI is pretty traditional and really, really wants me to take his last name.  My family and his family mostly agrees, although most of my friends have not changed their names when they married.  He is also very against our potential future children having hyphenated last names, although I love the idea.What I've settled on for now is making my name Jennifer MiddleName MyLastName-HisLastName.  This way I get to keep my name- which I LOVE- in a public way but still incorporate his too.  My last name is long but his is short, so I think it will work out nicely.  Future kids will just take his last name.
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  • PensChick20PensChick20 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I know I'm never here but I thought I would weigh in on this. I am Alicia middle-name his-last name now. Personally, my maiden name was a b!tch to pronounce and no one ever got it right! I loved that name, but hey getting married is a change so I am rolling with it. I also chose to keep my middle name because I like how it sounds. Alicia Marie. A friend of mine did not change hers, she just likes her last name too much. I think it might have to do with her mother passing away, she wants to keep that name maybe to stay connected to her I guess. My mother is First name maiden-name married-name. She did not have a middle name so it was cool she got to add one with her maiden name when she got married. Of course it does not make you any LESS married to not have his last name, although some people would like to make you feel that way.
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