WORDING HELP PLEASE!!!

aprilbenedict

We are getting married in April. THis will be the second wedding for both.  We are having an  informal reception at a steakhouse and would like to ask our guests to pay for their own meal instead of bringing us any type of gift.  Everyone that will be coming are family or friends but I still can't quite figure out how to word it.  I know I have seen this before but can't seem to find it again.

Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated.

SaraAndrew2010

There is no way to word it because it is a horrible idea.  You can't invite people to your wedding and then tell them to pay for their meal.  If you invite them, you have to pay for them.  Guests aren't required to bring a gift (although most do).  You can't dictate to them what they do for their gift. It's incredibly rude to tell them to pay for dinner.

If you can't afford to pay for everyone's dinner at a steakhouse, either cut your guest list or have the reception somewhere less expensive. 

squirrly

I erased my original response because it really wasn't nice.  Then again - neither is what you're asking to do.  I can't give you wording, because I don't want to be that rude.  I suggest you come up with a new plan so that you can avoid rude too.

bbyckes

There are just no words for this.  If they are your guests treat them as such an do not have them pay for their own meal in lieu of gifts or not.

rmuratschew

this is a second marriage for me as well and quite honestily is like lasking your guests to pay for their own party....If you can't afford to pay for a buffet and invite friends and family then perhaps you should do nothing at all .....it actually makes a wonderful event very tacky....

banana468

PPs have hit the nail on the head.  There's no nice way to phrase this because the overall concept isn't very nice from the start.

Instead, shrink the guest list to something very manageable so that you and your FI can afford to pay for all of their meals or change it to something where you can afford to pay.

There's no rule that you have to invite people but those invited need to be hosted by the two of you.


The only possible way this might be OK is if you don't invite anyone at all.  And then just say, "Well, if you stop by X restaurant, we'll probably be there."