Not giving a meal choice - special wording for allergies?

notyetavet

My fiance and I are not giving guests a meal choice for the reception since we are planning a special menu (nothing crazy, don't worry!)

I have a question about wording the RSVP card that requires a little bit of back story.  At my FI's cousin's wedding, they planned a surf and turf dinner. They knew that my FI's uncle was allergic to shellfish so they made sure to make arrangements for him, but they didn't know that I am also allergic to shellfish.  The kitchen had to change things around during dinner service and I felt really bad because I kept asking what was in each course so I didn't accidentally eat something I shouldn't.

The main question: I would like to include a line at the bottom of our response card that says "Please contact us directly if you have any food allergies to consider" with our wedding email listed.  Is that tacky?  I just want to be able to give the kitchen a heads-up if there is someone out there that can't eat lobster bisque or walnuts on their salad or something.

Amt2109

For our RSVP cards, we basically just added a line at the bottom like this:

Please advise us of any allergies or dietary requirements ________________

For the wedding, we'd said 'barbecue reception to follow'.

For the AHR? destination reception? lol... we made it clear that it was an italian restaurant.

We didn't have anything crazy written there. There was one kid allergic to every type of seaweed and oil going, but our restaurant were very helpful in that.

notyetavet

Thanks for the input!

I'm worried about just putting a blank line for the same reason edielaura mentioned: I don't want people giving me dietary preferences, I just want to know if I'm going to send someone to the hospital.

tenofcups4me

I wouldn't ask for allergies and I wouldn't describe the food. People who have allergies (like you...and me) know to ask before eating something. If someone has a horrible allergy, the kind that could send them to the ER, odds are good you already know about it.

I would assume your venue will have a few vegetarian options on hand for anyone who needs (or be able to pull them together quickly) and should be able to accommodate any other special needs at the time.

Kristin789

This:

/>>I would assume your venue will have a few vegetarian options on hand for anyone who needs (or be able to pull them together quickly) and should be able to accommodate any other special needs at the time.

If you are having your reception at a place that regularly does weddings and charity galas and other big food events, then they are well aware of food allergies, etc. and will prepare accordingly.

If you are inviting people with serious food allergies, then they are well aware that they will need to notify you or the venue ahead of time.

I think adding a line on your invitation or reception card or RSVP card will create more hassle than you need.

notyetavet

Oooh, I can definitely put a description of the food on the website.  My fiance and I don't get to do our tasting until the middle of March which is too late to put it on the invitations.

I think I am just overthinking things. I know that the place where we are having our reception will be able to take care of everything, I was just worried about seeming like I wasn't taking everyone into account.  You are all correct...if people have serious food restrictions, they will get a hold of someone whether I prompt them to say something or not. 

Thank you!!

AurorasEnvy

PPs have good advice.  Is your meal including any really common allergens - like shellfish (I assume not since you are allergic), nuts, etc?

Otherwise, you could have a framed description of the menu that lists all the ingredients on the tables at your reception.  (IE, Grilled chicken topped with a ____ sauce accompanied by ______).  Or just have a menu for each person.  I think putting a description of it on the website is a good idea, but not everyone will look at the website before the wedding.

melntaitt

We had a small line that says, "Please list any dietary restrictions" _________________

jenniferb77

asking about food allergies is a good idea in my opinion.

another bit of advice, contact whoever is dealing with your menu promptly to let them know.

i have 3 vegetarians and 2 with celiac disease, one of the celiac guests also has a severe allergy to nuts and dairy. i have let my restaurant know this ahead of time, so the server will be able to guide my guests as far as their food choices go.

i did also do something special for my celiac guests, since their allergy to gluten means they cant eat any of the wedding cake. i am ordering a half dozen gluten free cupcakes in the flavors that my cake is coming in so that they can enjoy as well.

shipsinthenight

I'm torn on this one. I have 2 guests I'd like to invite who are severely allergic to nuts, my mother and I have casinase enzyme defficiency (milk protien allergy), and I know of a few guests who are vegan or vegetarian. As someone with an allergy (although it is not severe, does not lead to anaphylaxis), I have had to be proactive about my food choices most of my life. But I also wouldn't want to offend anyone with other dietary restrictions. I think a lot depends on your venue, your caterer, if that caterer normally works at that venue, or if they've only brought certain food with them, and your menu. I think this is a decision each bride, goom, and any financially responcible parties need to make together. I can see it being appropriate in some cases to ask about allergies, and more of a hassle in other cases.