Bridal Shower invite wording

espebradford3

I'm working on the bridal shower invitations for the Bride (Im a Bridesmaid). The invitations are complete, but the Bride is creating/using a brooch bouquet and would like for the shower guests to bring a brooch in addition to their gift for her to use in her bouquet. This will be a separate little card that is included with the shower invitation. Here's what I have so far:

To make Katy’s day even more special, she has chosen to carry a brooch bouquet. Because you have touched her life in a special way, she would like to carry a small piece of your love with her on her wedding day. We request that you include a brooch with your shower gift. Silver, clear rhinestones, and pearls compliment Katy’s dress best.

 If you are unable to attend the shower, you may mail a brooch to:

 

What do you think about the wording? Is it too long? Is it polite enough? Any other constructive criticism is welcome! Also, Im adding a photo of the shower invitation. The shower is Breakfast at Tiffany's themed.

Thanks in advance!

egm900

I would ask for this by word of mouth, some guests are going to feel obligated, and I personally would have to go buy something because I only keep jewelry I really like and would not want to give away (which sounds like it would be counter productive considering the bride wants something of a person's rather than something they bought for her).  I would hope everyone that the bride would want a brooch from is close enough to her that she could pick up the phone.  Otherwise it looks like she realized a brooch bouquet can cost more than a flower bouquet and is offsetting her cost.

But if there must be an insert card, I would change "she would like to carry a small piece" to "she would welcome carrying a small piece."  Also cut out the "we request" line and last line about mailing anything, if a guest really wants to participate, they will take the intiative to mail it or contact the bride and figure out alternative arrangements.