Addressing STD's and S/O's

pzavecz

I have some friends that I am inviting to my wedding and want to send them a save the date.  I know these people are dating someone but I don't know their S/O's name or I haven't even met them.  They also do not live together.  I was planning to invite them along with their s/o but not sure if I need to put the s/o's names on the STD's.  

I have other friends in relationships and I know their s/o and their names so I was planning to include their name on the STD.  Would it be rude of me to not include the s/o's name for the STD for those I don't know and get that information later when I send out the actual formal invitations?  I have read multiple times that STD's are informal so it's not necessary to include the "and guest" on a STD (which is basically this situation since I don't know the name) and address to the person you know.  But at the same time, shouldn't the person I'm inviting need to know if they get to bring their s/o so they can make travel arrangements for that guest too?  I'm only sending STD's for OOT guests so they can have more time to plan ahead for making travel arrangements.

Advice needed please!

ginadog

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_addressing-stds-sos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:57b213a3-bce0-49f3-b288-c5c46f962591Post:c483739e-a151-42cd-b712-20daaf430094">Addressing STD's and S/O's</a>:
[QUOTE]I have some friends that I am inviting to my wedding and want to send them a save the date.  I know these people are dating someone but I don't know their S/O's name or I haven't even met them.  They also do not live together.  I was planning to invite them along with their s/o but not sure if I need to put the s/o's names on the STD's.   I have other friends in relationships and I know their s/o and their names so I was planning to include their name on the STD.  Would it be rude of me to not include the s/o's name for the STD for those I don't know and get that information later when I send out the actual formal invitations?  I have read multiple times that STD's are informal so it's not necessary to include the "and guest" on a STD (which is basically this situation since I don't know the name) and address to the person you know.  But at the same time, shouldn't the person I'm inviting need to know if they get to bring their s/o so they can make travel arrangements for that guest too?  I'm only sending STD's for OOT guests so they can have more time to plan ahead for making travel arrangements. Advice needed please!
Posted by pzavecz[/QUOTE]

I have a friend in the same situation as the first.  Never met the BF either, but since I do talk to that friend I at least knew hs first name was Jon.  You can find out the SO's name by asking her directly or look on Facebook perhaps.  I just said "Jane Doe and Jon" (if I had room to spell out his last name I would have) and addressed it to her house.  So you can find out the SOs name with a little effort.

Now for someone who has just started to date someone new and maybe not 100% an item yet, I'd address the STD to just her, but say "and guest" on her invitation.

So if you know the SOs name add it or find it out.

pzavecz

Thanks for the help!  I think I'm just going to keep it simple and only include the S/O name if they are living together.  I think it's probably the best and simplest solution for now since so much can change in relationships between now and when invites go out.  Thanks for the advice ladies!  

MyNameIsNot

You need to convey to them that the s/o is invited.  They need to know that to make travel arrangments, and it may determine whether or not they will even come.  Their living arrangements are irrelevant.

If you can't find the name with phone/text/facebook/email, enclose a note telling them their s/o will be invited.  But you are going to need the names anyway, so you might as well ask now.  It would take 20 seconds to send an email asking for it.