Invitation Wording when Death in the Family

jdblnn

 

My mother is paying for the bulk of our wedding, thus my understanding is that she should be listed as the host on the invitations.  However, my father passed away, so "The Parents of..." of "Mr. and Mrs..." doesn't really make sense for us.  Moreover, both of my fiancé's parents have passed away, so "The parents of..." doesn't work for us either.  I was thinking just my mom "Mrs....requests the honor of your presence at the marriage of her daughter..." but I didn't know if that is appropriate. 

 

I really want to give my mom the credit she is due, as she's been amazing helping us plan our wedding, but I'm concerned about hurting someone's feelings. Any thoughts?  

 

mlg78

The bottom line is dead people don't belong on invitations...only the host(s) and guests of honor (that'd be you and your groom) should be listed.

So...based on what you've said:

Mrs. Mother of the Bride

requests the honor of your presence

at the marriage of her daughter

bride

to

groom

Jen4948

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invitation-wording-when-death-in-the-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:5dba5ca3-3ad1-4b7a-ac82-ee948d8203cfPost:e8f02500-e9bc-4bca-a5c1-6ce5e2ac7477">Re: Invitation Wording when Death in the Family</a>:
[QUOTE]The bottom line is dead people don't belong on invitations...only the host(s) and guests of honor (that'd be you and your groom) should be listed. So...based on what you've said: Mrs. Mother of the Bride requests the honor of your presence at the marriage of her daughter bride to groom
Posted by mlg78[/QUOTE]

This.  Don't use your invitation to "honor" your deceased parents.  That's not its purpose.

Your parents can be remembered in a wedding program and/or by subtle tributes like wearing or carrying something they owned, serving food and/or drinks they liked, or decorating or playing music or dances they enjoyed when they were alive.

Peavy

I would want to use my own name, so I would say Ms. Jane Bridesfather rather than Mrs. John Bridesfather.

Peavy

CMGr, I understand that, and I know that Mrs. John Lastname if the more formal and old fashioned way.  However, I myself wouldn't use Mrs. John in the same situation, and I wanted OP to know that there are options.

TT Bride 13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invitation-wording-when-death-in-the-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:5dba5ca3-3ad1-4b7a-ac82-ee948d8203cfPost:46e31a34-4566-4d1c-a8be-eec4c898613a">Re: Invitation Wording when Death in the Family</a>:
[QUOTE]Mrs. John Bridesfather requests the pleasure of your company at the marriage of her daughter Bride's First Middle to Mr. Groom's Full Name Date time Venue Address City, State If it is a church wedding, you use "requests the honour of yourpresence".
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

So if you are not having a church wedding, you don't use " requests the honour of your presence"? Is it a big deal if you do? I had no idea there was any stipulations about that :(