To Invite...or not to invite? Sorry this is long...

beardownbchs

My fiance and I are (were...) planning a small destination wedding and reception and then having a dinner/party to celebrate at home when we get back for those who couldn't make it. 

I have a pretty extended large family, but we all live in the area and we're very close. 

My fiance's mother has ten siblings, only one of whom I have met - one time. They live all over the country and she is insisting that I invite all of them to the destination (and their spouses, obviously). 

This is a problem in iteslf because that greatly increases the number of people being invited and we were really hoping to save money and have it in a smaller venue (wedding not for almost 2 years - no location finalized yet). 

I want to invite them because I really don't want our wedding to be all my family and none of his, but he literally doesn't even know these people - some of them he hasn't even met! 

And...part two of the MIL sibling issue...my MIL hates me and she uses Facebook to let everyone know. Years ago she was complaining about something I had said about my fiance, as a joke (which he found funny and not offensive at all!!) and one of her sisters said, "What a witch (you can guess what she really said..)!! She better hope she never meets me!! I hope he drops her on whatever corner her found her on soon!!" That's literally exactly what she said. Needless to say, I unfriended my MIL right away and nothing has come of it since. But I really do not want to invite the sister to my wedding and my fiance agrees. The only way I can see inviting her to my wedding is if she called me to apologize. My MIL is already causing a huge issue with her family and I don't want to make things worse, but I can't see inviting people who have been that rude and judgmental towards me. 

Am I being dramatic? Should I suck it up and invite her? Should I put my foot down and not invite any of them?

My fiance seems to either not care or be afraid to voice his opinion because everytime I ask him about it he tells me that he can see my point and his mom's and he doesn't care. 

Please let me know what you think...I want our wedding to be OUR wedding but I don't want to make things any worse with his family at the same time. 

Help!!

beardownbchs

Oh my gosh I'm sorry I was confusing...I meant his mother's sister. She was the one with the post on Facebook and she's the one I don't want to invite. My yes, future - MIL and I don't necessarily like each other but we get past it because we both love my fiance. There's no way I wouldn't invite her and I'm trying to keep her invoved as much as I can as she lives 400 miles away and my FI is her only child (I think that's why she hates me so much..i's literally like she's jealous and sees me as compitition).

What do you think about the rude aunt?

kmmssg

In all honesty, your FI needs to grow a backbone here.  He is playing Switzerland here so he doesn't have to cross his mother and it is at the expense of you and your wedding. (could you please stop referring to everything as "I" and "my wedding"? It should be "we" and "our wedding".  Sounds bridezillaish).

If he doesn't want the aunt there, he needs to deal with his mom.  I think he is using the "I don't care" so he doesn't have to cross Mama.

MissMeghan80

I think you are in a bit of a situation, but all is not lost.

I think before you start figuring out who to invite, I think you FI needs to have an honest chat with his mother.  He needs to explain how much he loves the both of you and wants everyone treat each other with respect.  He needs to stress how important it is to have the most important women in his life get along.  And then you need to slowly build some sort of relationship with her.  Because you both love this man and need to start fresh, 

Once that is focused on, I believe inviting the Aunts will be much easier (and yes, you should invite them).

His mother (and family) are for life - take the high road and show them how wonderful you are - and how lucky he is to be marrying you!!

msuprincess04

This happened years ago. Isn't is possible it's already forgotten by everyone else?