wording for "child free wedding"

madamelaclos

Ok, European overseas wedding next fall. three friends with infants.

one very close friend is leaving baby at home with mom making 2nd honeymoon of it, but have two invitees who will have babies under 1 year old.

I do not want children anywhere near the venue. not downstairs, not outside with the babysitter. NOT THERE.

however, due to my uber anti child sentiments...need help in wording this in a fairly diplomatic yet infinitely clear way.

private mesg with in the invite to those with children?

wording?

banana468

There isn't any way that you can word this on the invitation.  The invitation and the envelope lets the invited guests know who is included and never indicates who is excluded.

Simply address the envelope to the adults of the household only.  You can also go a step further and write out the response cards so that the guests just check _accepts __declines next to their names.

Since you're talking about  two people, you can also spread that via word of mouth.  "Oh I'm so glad that you're excited to be there!  Who is going to watch Little Anna while you and the hubby travel?"

But please do keep in mind that there are two aspects of your wedding that may lead to people to decline:
1) The overseas wedding could be a financial burden on some guests.
2) Some guests simply will not travel overseas without their child.

You're more than welcome to say that it's a child-free wedding but please do understand that with that also means that some people may decline.  People should not hold it against you that you have opted for this request and you should not hold it against others that decline either.

I will say, if you have nursing mothers, you may not want their children there but by saying no to the infants, you may be saying an immediate no to the moms simply for nursing/pumping reasons. 

wifeandmommy0609

I can understand you don't want children at your wedding by why can't the family travel with their kids and find childcare in the hotel rooms? they won't be at the wedding so i don't see why you won't allow them to travel with their kids.

with that said i agree with PP!

banana468

Wife and mommy, I interpret the OP to mean that she's not supplying daycare at the venue and does not want children at the venue or stationed somewhere outside with a sitter.

Since you can't tell guests how to travel, I have to assume that it's fine if a guest was to leave her child with a sitter in the hotel room.  That's just not the OP's call.

EmilyRegina12

I've seen it worded on reception enclosures, but not invitations.  The wedding I'm thinking of had a separate card for reception information, and at the bottom in italic text it said, 
"adults only at the reception venue, please"

Or you can talk to those 2 people individually, but that can lead to hurt feelings I can imagine.  If it's on the reception information materials, then it is directed at everybody.

banana468

I've seen it worded on reception enclosures, but not invitations.  The wedding I'm thinking of had a separate card for reception information, and at the bottom in italic text it said,  "adults only at the reception venue, please" Or you can talk to those 2 people individually, but that can lead to hurt feelings I can imagine.  If it's on the reception information materials, then it is directed at everybody.
Posted by EmilyRegina12

This is completely inappropriate etiquette.

It's never OK to put in writing who is not welcome.  It may have been done before but it was not acceptable practice.

lizdawiz

I am having a similar issue with my invitation wording. I don't necessarily have a huge issue with children at my wedding. My main concern is that we will be consuming alcohol at the reception, and I don't want there to an accident or something due to children + drinking adults. I'm putting in the wording of my reception that there will be dinner, drinks and dancing. That puts into the guests hands whether they want their children around the drinking aspect of the reception. I know it won't give me a child free wedding, but it  will probably exclude the little ones.

 I think it would be rude to exclude anyone by the invitation wording. That is a sensitive issue that needs individual communication. I don't think a baby who is nursing can be seperated from their mother due to pumping/feeding issues anyway.