XP: Questions on ring exchange vows during ceremony

Ginabean42712

We just recieved the lay out of our ceremony from our officiant, and I have a question.  

My fiance has had problems with studdering his whole life.  He controls it pretty well now, but when he's nervous it comes out and he can't control it.  We know this will be a problem when we are standing up in front of everyone saying our ring exchange vows, because he will be nervous and knows he will start studdering.  I was just wondering if anyones knows of another alternative to saying these ring vows.  Maybe we can just skip them?  Or maybe have our officiant say something as we are putting the rings on each other?  I am also going to email my officiant about this, but wanted to see if anyone on here had any suggestions about this.  

Thanks!

Lisa50

I believe the declaration of intent (basically, answering "Yes" and "No" to the officiant's questions) and vows (I, bride, take you, groom ...) are to be made in public.  I don't think that means anything more than in front of a witness and, I'm pretty sure, it can all be in writing. 

Although there are traditions of making statments during the ring exchange, I don't think that is mandatory.  So, if you think your FI can make it through the declaration and vows, he'll be finished with "mandatory" public speaking by the time the ring exchange comes along.

In any event, is there a stuttering support group he can turn to for suggestions?

pgcp

My husband stutters as well.  Actually, I have a very slight stutter as well.  Have your minister do the repeat after me bit with very short phrases and assure your fiance that he doesn't need to say them loudly at all. 

Usually people who stutter don't if they are whispering or singing.  If he sort of whispers in a sing songy voice to you only he might get through them more easily.  Also when you talk with your minister let him/her know if there are any beginning sounds that are particularly troublesome.  If you avoid starting a phrase with those sounds that should help.

Most importantly, you need to be relaxed for him.  If he starts to stutter don't get worked up.  It's unlikely that anyone will be surprised by it, and no one will mind.

toothpastechica

Usually the ring part is after the 'wedding vows', and I have heard it done with just the officiant saying "now take the left hand...." and the couple just doing it instead of saying anything.

The wedding vows generally do have to be spoken, but can be short and sweet, or talk to your officiant about maybe instead of repeating every line just saying I do at the end of the whole vow instead of just for the intent question? I don't know how comfortable the officiant would be with that, depends what kind of ceremony you are having, but it might be an option.

shoebie

There is a version of it where you dont have to repeat anything and can just answer yes to his questions that might be best for fi good luck !

NOLAbridealmost

 Is there a way to have your vows witnessed by the MOH and BM just before you go down the aisle and then the "I do's," ring exchange, first kiss, and pronouncement after the walk down the aisle?