how to deal with people not bringing +1's

caseykeepers

Here is a piece of advice that i WISH someone gave me....

my fiancee and i had to whittle our lists down just so all of our guests could fit into our dream venue.  and now. 3 days away from our RSVP date, we are getting single people sending in repsonses with +1's, when we had to cut out other friends just to fit the friends we did invite, so there is no way we are including dates.  we told as many of our non-married/single friends as we could, but they just don't get it.

so... what i would tell any brides to avoid this for their wedding, is to send all of your single/non-married friends a text or email or possibly a note along with the save the date, saying that you have no room for additional guests, since you are at max capacity for your venue and that although you would love to have them at your wedding, you cannot allow them to bring a date.  that way, they know from the get-go, and if it really bothers them that much... they have the option of declining your invitation.

i really wish someone told me this in advance, then i wouldn't have had to learn the hard way and had to have so many awkward conversations with friends... a few days away from when our final numbers are due

aerinpegadrak

Honestly, someone who's rude enough to write in an uninvited person on their RSVP would probably do so even if you sent them a singing telegram telling them that you don't have room.  All a blanket note would do is insult the intelligence of people capable of reading an invitation.

The awkward conversations do suck, but that's one of those necessary evils of planning a wedding or other large-scale event.

sheelamarie408

just a question, but did you leave a place to write +1s or did they just write it in randomly?...like a response card and a check mark next to accept and then hand written, +1?

HisCB

this is why were are having such a lax guestlist/reception, not doing seating chart or exact numbers. we will still ask for rsvps but not going to stress over it, just need a ballpark number for the caterer and we will just have more table space than we need to accomidate the non-assigned seating.

banana468

Are these people in relationships or are they adding random dates?

mandybear7

Agree with banana- between the time you send save the dates and an invite, people may a significant other. We had to build that possibility into our guest list.

Lisa50

Call those who added a "plus one" (How rude!!) and let him/her know the invitation is intended for the addressee only, no accommodation can be made for "plus ones."   If you don't have the stomach to call, send a handwritten note (no texting or email) to reinforce the intention of the original invitation.

Just because someone has a new boyfriend (or girlfriend) doesn't mean he (or she) is invited to your wedding.  Sheesh! 

Take deep breaths.  Breathe.  Relax.

Best of luck!!