Wedding Program help - The step parent issue

Zhiavanja

I need help here.  I am extremely close to my dad, who will be walking me down the aisle, gets the first dance and is kind enough to pay for the wedding.  However, my mom has since been married twice.  My (ex) step dad has been in my life since I could form memory.  I am very, very close with him. I have always called him dad (along my my real dad) because he's always been one.  I'm very blessed to have such wonderful people and relationships in my life but it apparently comes at a cost.  When my step mom created the programs (she's planning everything for me) she didn't include either of my step dads as I had requested.  Apparently, I didn't think things through and my dad (bio) was hurt that I wanted to include them as parents because he felt it diminished his role as my dad.  I definitely understand where he is coming from, I just hadn't thought about it before.  But I want to be able to include my step dads in the program, perhaps as a special mention(?) or something, so they are included and know how much they mean to me.  Does anyone have any ideas on how to word this or what to do so I can include them like I want without hurting my real dad? That is truly the last thing I want to do but I also feel like my step dads deserve some recognition and honor as well...

KatieMarieJ

I think you just need to have a real conversation with your (bio) dad. Let him know that he is your father, that you love him and treasure him. That is why he is getting the honors of walking you down the aisle and the father/daughter dance. However, you need to make it clear that while he is your father, you have had other stong male role models in your life, whom you also love and wish on honor in a small way since they will not get the aisle or the dance. A mention in the program is certainly a small part, that won't take away from your own father but will let these other two men feel special in their own right. 

As your step mom is creating the programs and they are paying for the wedding this probably won't be the most comfortable conversation you are ever going to have but at the end of the day this is your wedding not theirs. These men were obviously important to you growing up and your father shouldn't feel threatened by their mere presence in the family section of the program. If anything he should be grateful that although he couldn't always be there for you, that there were two other good men who could be. That's not always the case when new men come into a young girls life. 

Hope that helps and good luck

itzMS

Yes, you will need to take this up with your bio father.

Your bio mother should be listed in the program with her current spouse. The issue comes with your mom's ex...it's definitely unusual, but you can swing it...

Parents of the Bride:
Mr and Mrs Brides Stepfather2
Mr and Mrs Brides Father
Mr Brides Stepfather1

Kristin789

Or you could do this:

Parents of the Bride:
Mrs. Stepfather2
Mr. Biodad

The bride would also like to recognize:
Mr Brides Stepfather2
Mrs Brides Father
Mr Brides Stepfather1