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Who do we have to invite to the wedding?

julespinkribbonjulespinkribbon
First Comment
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
Hi everyone..we would like to keep our wedding to 150 people tops. However, if we send out more invites, there is no guarentee to how many people will say yes or no. Sending more is risky because of course not everyone will say yes, but there is a chance more people will say yes and then we will end up with more than 150. I don't mind if its less than that.

Including everyone, just family and close family friends, we are at 165 people. We don't have room to invite our friends or extras. This is strictly family, close family friends and our close friends in our bridal party.

The problem is, some of the family members we never even talked to but it is just proper to invite them according to our parents.

Can we just invite our family who is close to us and the ones we want so we have room to invite more of our friends?

Thanks :)
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Re: Who do we have to invite to the wedding?

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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Always plan on 100% attendance. Who is paying for the wedding? That will help you determine who gets a say in your guest list. We did not invite anyone WE as a couple were not close to, nor did my father think we should, even though he paid for everything. A wedding should not be a time for your parents to invite everybody they have ever met. Unfortunately, some brides find themselves in that situation, and the only way to have full control over the guest list is to pay for it yourselves. It all depends on your individual family dynamic.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    julespinkribbonjulespinkribbon
    First Comment
    My Fiance and I are paying for the entire wedding ourselves. His parents are throwing our engagement party and my parents hosting our rehearal dinner. But the wedding is all ours!

    I think you are completely correct though. I think its unnecessary to invite those we don't even know because people say we "have" to and they are not even paying for it!
    Thanks alot :)
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2012
    No one "has" to be invited unless they are the spouse, fiance/e, or SO of someone who is invited.
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    libby2483libby2483 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2012
    If you and your FI are paying, you don't have to invite anyone to your wedding that you don't want to.  If I were in your shoes, I would cut out the obligatory family inviations of people you are not close to, and invite the friends and family members you truly want to celebrate with.  Just explain to your parents that you want to keep things at a certain number and distant family members that you barely know cannot be accommodated. 

    Edit: You can always send these more distant relatives wedding announcements once you are married.
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    Kristin789Kristin789 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    I'm with CMGr on this one.

    My FI wanted to invite his mom, dad, brother/wife/3kids.  Total of 7.
    So I invited 7 also:
    my mom, two friends of my mom who like aunts to me - one had a husband, the woman who introduced us, a friend of mine who read the Apache Blessing as the champagne toast to start the reception, and a woman who was kind of like a grandmother to me.

    With the officiant and spouse, and the retired minister who did the blessing and his spouse, the photographer, the videographer and his assistant, etc. - we had a total of 25 in the room, which includes FI and me.

    165?  W o w.  Probably shouldn't complain about a guest list of 165.

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    julespinkribbonjulespinkribbon
    First Comment
    well we come from big italian families and we are all VERY close but there are some people who we just don't talk to. It will cut our list down about 30 people. Our theory for our wedding is since you get married once, do it how you desire. We thought about different ways, having smaller wedding, having a really big wedding, and 150 person wedding works best for us and since we have the money to do it. we are going to have our dream wedding with 150 people to share it with.

    Thanks for your help everyone!
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    julespinkribbonjulespinkribbon
    First Comment
    great advice!!! hopefully my FI will listen to me when I tell him lol!!!
    Thanks so much :)
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    JillianNJohnJillianNJohn
    5 Love Its First Comment
    My mother has ppl expecting invites. Ppl I haven't seen (and that I met at my first wedding). they aren't getting them. Invite those who are important to YOU AND FI.
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    julespinkribbonjulespinkribbon
    First Comment
    Loved this reply! Thank you very much!
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    Sydney91Sydney91 member
    First Comment
    There are 5 people that HAVE to be invited. The bride, groom, 2 witnesses, and someone to perform the marriage. Everyone else is optional.

    Now that I have hopefully gotten a smile, I would explain to your folks that you have this limitation on the guest list. It's important to invite your friends that you are close to over cousin Billy that you last spoke to 8 years ago at Christmas or another family wedding. 
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