Response cards opinion??

PrettyPanda

Hi Everyone!  I'm kinda new to the board, and I was hoping to get some opinions/advice about response cards.  (sorry, this is kinda long!)

So, I'm considering not having response cards to save a little bit of money on the invitations and have everyone RSVP on the website instead.  I've heard of some people doing that, but I don't know if that is becoming more acceptable or if it might be considered tacky or something like that. 

The invitations are really important to me and I would rather put more money into having nicer invitations and matching programs, menus, etc.  It would save about $150-200 to not have response sets.  I think pretty much everyone we are inviting is computer savvy, but I would make sure we call everyone directly that we haven't heard from.

Do you think it is reasonable to have everyone RSVP on the website and not have response cards?  I know it is my wedding and I should do what I want, but the invitation is the first thing people see (except for the STD) and I don't want them to have a bad first impression about my wedding. 

Anyway, I'd appreciate everyone's input.  Thanks so much!!

danieliza1127

I think it's okay but also risky since you can't really know for sure that everyone is internet savvy and has access.  What I would do is list the website AND a phone number.  That way if you do have someone uncomfortable with the internet, they can just call you.  Then make sure you call and follow up with anyone who hasn't rsvp'd by the response date.

squirrly

I personally want the cards for a couple of reasons. 

• So that I can double check my list once I make it, against the cards, to be sure I didn't screw up.
• Because a fair number of my guests aren't really internet savvy.
• Because I'm really hoping for some sweet write-in notes after reading on here about people getting them. 
• My internet-savvy friends and family respond to emails just fine.  But, I'm not sure how many of them do snail-mail to internet very well.  I'm afraid they'd just forget to RSVP and I'd end up having to make lots of calls.

Bottom line for me is that response cards are cheap peace of mind.  That said, it's not tacky - just maybe less practical.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In general, the responses I've seen from other people who have done this is that very few people remember to RSVP and you need to track them all down. Like squirrly said, sometimes the snail-mail to online transfer doesn't happen. It's easy to check a card and drop it back in the mail, but with online, you'd have to put the invitation by your computer and remember to respond when you are at your desk. Sounds good in theory, but you might have to make a lot of phone calls.

PrettyPanda

It sounds like it might be a lot more practical to have the response cards afterall!!  Thanks - I really appreciate the input!

I actually have another question for you guys if I go ahead with the response cards.  So, my mom is paying for most of the wedding, but she hasn't been very hands on with the planning, and I am paying for the invitations myself.  Is it more appropriate for the response cards (and return address on the outer envelope) to be my address or her address? 

She is hosting the wedding since she is paying for the reception, so I don't want to be rude or offensive by not using her address, but since she hasn't really been involved in the wedding planning details, I kinda feel like it would be weird to have the response cards go to her.  She also isn't the most organized person and lives in a different state, and I am very organized with binders, notebooks, and spreadsheets... so she might understand me wanting to have control over the responses, but I'm not sure what I should do.  What do you think?

Thanks so much for your advice!!

squirrly

Pure etiquette, if the invite says:

Mrs. Your Mom
requests the pleasure of your company
etc.

on the invite, the addresses used should be hers.  However, I don't really see an issue with using another address.  If she really wants it to look like it's coming from/to her, just use her name with your address. 

PrettyPanda

Okay, thanks squirrly!! 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Or just ask her if she wants to deal with having the cards come to her house. If not, then have them sent to your house. FYI the address on the invitation is traditionally the address used by people to send wedding gifts.

squirrly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_response-cards-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:8c797e8f-d710-4325-951e-4de577b1ecd3Post:3ccd5c4d-2654-4fd9-a8e9-e2677551a167">Re: Response cards opinion??</a>:
[QUOTE]Or just ask her if she wants to deal with having the cards come to her house. If not, then have them sent to your house. FYI the address on the invitation is traditionally the address used by people to send wedding gifts.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

Mery, I think the issue is the OP is concerned mom might misplace a card.  Not that her mom objects to receiving them.   

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Ah, yeah, I skimmed over the last paragraph in that follow up.

But it might be the ONE thing she wants to be trusted with for the wedding. You know how weird parents are about that. Or maybe not.

squirrly

Actually, the things that parents are weird about in my experience is totally different.  My parents are almost completely uninvolved.  To the point of (seemingly) not caring at all.  I'm pretty sure my dad would be irritated if we used their address - too much "junk" mail.  And too much stress for my mom, in his opinion.  I don't think Mom would want them anyway - too much responsibility. 

Anyhow - my advice assumes the OP will talk to her mom about it. 

firefox0402

What about this-

 Do the classic RSVP resonder, but give the guests the option to respond via email...

I was thinking of adding a note to the inside of my responder cards....
What do you all think? Pretty would that be a good option for you?
What is a good way to word something like that?

squirrly

firefox, you got some responses in your original post.  Overall - I'm not a fan of the email RSVP. 

PrettyPanda

I'm definitely going to discuss this with my mom and just see what she says about the return address issue.  That is a great point about the address being where the gifts are sent (I didn't know that).  I was thinking that if it really matters to her, I could put only her name on the invitation so it would be very clear that she is the one hosting (no other parents are contributing).

Thanks to everyone for your input!!