How does this sound?

AlyssaHoward87

How does this sound for wedding announcements? I took out our names and address for safety reasons, but how does something like this sound? Please make any needed corrections

{Bride full name}
and
{Groom full name}

are pleased to announce
we will be married during a private ceremony
on Friday, the fifth of October
in Gatlinburg Tennessee

Please join us in a celebration in honor of our marriage on

Saturday the thirteenth of October at the Bride’s parents house

(INSERT ADDRESS HERE)

ginadog

Something about stating your names but saying "we" after it doesn't roll off the tongue.

Announcements are usually just announcements (like an FYI). This more like an invitation to a celebration party.

LeiselEB

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_this-sound?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:8dfc5a9d-1c3c-4518-9984-6e3f697f5c47Post:16a08a76-3791-4dd9-9b92-875c823a454d">How does this sound?</a>:
[QUOTE]How does this sound for wedding announcements? I took out our names and address for safety reasons, but how does something like this sound? Please make any needed corrections :) {Bride full name} and {Groom full name} are pleased to announce we will be married during a private ceremony on Friday, the fifth of October in Gatlinburg Tennessee Please join us in a celebration in honor of our marriage on Saturday the thirteenth of October at the Bride’s parents house (INSERT ADDRESS HERE)
Posted by AlyssaHoward87[/QUOTE]

<div style="text-align:center;">Bride Full Name</div><div style="text-align:center;">and </div><div style="text-align:center;">Groom Full Name</div><div style="text-align:center;">will be married in a private ceremony</div><div style="text-align:center;">Friday, the fifth of October</div><div style="text-align:center;">2012</div><div style="text-align:center;">
</div><div style="text-align:center;">The pleasure of your company is requested</div><div style="text-align:center;">at a celebration in honor of their marriage</div><div style="text-align:center;">Saturday, the thirteenth of October</div><div style="text-align:center;">2012</div><div style="text-align:center;">at the home of</div><div style="text-align:center;">Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents</div><div style="text-align:center;">address</div><div style="text-align:center;">city, state</div><div style="text-align:center;">
</div><div style="text-align:left;">That's how I would word it. :)</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

rlavach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_this-sound?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:8dfc5a9d-1c3c-4518-9984-6e3f697f5c47Post:16a08a76-3791-4dd9-9b92-875c823a454d">How does this sound?</a>:
[QUOTE]How does this sound for wedding announcements? I took out our names and address for safety reasons, but how does something like this sound? Please make any needed corrections :) {Bride full name} and {Groom full name} <strong>are</strong> pleased to announce <strong>we</strong> will be married during a private ceremony on Friday, the fifth of October in Gatlinburg Tennessee Please join us in a celebration in honor of our marriage on Saturday the thirteenth of October <strong>at the Bride’s parents house </strong>(INSERT ADDRESS HERE)
Posted by AlyssaHoward87[/QUOTE]
Putting 'are' and then 'we' is jumping tense. You go from 3rd person to 1st person (I believe). Stating your names on the top (like you have to) puts it in 3rd person right away, since you would never talk like that in 1st person, you know. Then you jump back to 3rd person at the end. You have to pick one and stick with it.

Peavy

Leisel has it right.

AlyssaHoward87

Thank you so much, that sounds way better then what I had. I googled it and that's where I found the template for the one I did, but I thought it sounded kind of funny too.


In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_this-sound?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:8dfc5a9d-1c3c-4518-9984-6e3f697f5c47Post:a84ec0cb-c82e-4b07-84fe-f9cf8e4b41f5">Re: How does this sound?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to How does this sound? : Bride Full Name and  Groom Full Name will be married in a private ceremony Friday, the fifth of October 2012 The pleasure of your company is requested at a celebration in honor of their marriage Saturday, the thirteenth of October 2012 at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents address city, state That's how I would word it. :)
Posted by LeiselEB[/QUOTE]