The dreaded B List

scalaron

When is a B list recommended and is it a good idea?

Can it be done successfully?

scalaron

amhill87

B Lists are never acceptable. 

entropicbeauty

I think the B list idea is pretty tacky, unfortunately not everyone feels the same....my FI being one of these people. He keeps trying to add people to our guest list (even though we're already maxed out). The only way I could "compromise" with him was to say if he wanted to add more friends if/when we got a few declines, THEN he could (I will have nothing to do with this and I would never do it to any of MY friends/family....there was no way I am willing to run out of space at our venue just because he can't keep himself in check.

hz80408

Never. No. No.

scalaron

Thanks, i needed to settle a dispute and I agree the B list is not a good idea!

Ours is a large family but the line has to be drawn somewhere!

aragx6

Especially when it comes to family -- they'll know and they'll be hurt. Don't do it.

acaponi87

One of my good friends from HS got married a few years ago. I was also friends with her FI but we grew apart a little in college. I didn't get invited to the wedding which was not a big deal, I understand.

and then I got a call 2 days before her wedding saying someone else couldn't come  and did I wanna go?

What?! No.

Haven't talked to her since now lol. Not a good idea.

deanozzi

I actually kind of have a B list only because of my venue space and we are pretty much only able to invite immediate family but the space is too small. I would love to have more friends and my FI would also. If we get any declines it would open us up to being able to invite more friends...

deanozzi

Also we are sending out invites 2 months prior. I would never call anyone 2 days before a wedding and invite them though! I would send a formal invite with plenty of spare

lstruggles

I would just steer clear of the B List idea - its pretty tacky.  I am under the impression that it is used when people have more people to invite than they can afford to feed/host for etc. But if they get their invitation close to the wedding date and didn't receive a save the date, they may know they were on the B List.  You don't want to offend anyone.  If you can't invite everyone, you can't invite everyone.  If they are on a B list, then you should probably just not invite them anyway. Hope this helps!

ElisabethJoanne

If I got acaponi's call, I'd be very happy and say, "Thank you so much for thinking of me. I can't wait!"

My attitude towards B-lists is therefore different, because I think people have different attitudes about being on a B-list. I think B-lists are fine if all the people on the B-list have an attitude like mine. They are your friends, so you can judge that. We can't.

amymaysa

Just say no to the B list

Lawyer Barbie

This happened to me...an old friend sent an email blast to our close knit group of friends from law school twoor three weeks prior to the wedding saying that he had "forgotten" to include us on the original invite list. He specified no plus ones and the later emailed saying that they had limited plus ones available if anyone was interested. I declined and felt a touch insulted. I would rather have been not imvited completely than to feel like a last minute seat filler at the Academy Awards. We over sent save the dates due to being unable to say no to our large families, but will suck it up instead of having a second string.