Overseas Invitation Dilemma

orangegreen

The skinny: we're having our wedding in Australia (we're in Canada).  We only want to invite the groom's immediate family from Canada - that is - siblings + parents.  The rest will be family/friends of the bride in/from Australia.

The problem: Groom's parents want the aunts/uncles invited as a 'gesture' banking on them not actually making the long trip.  We don't want to invite them at the risk of them actually showing up.  We simply can't afford to have them there and don't want to offend cousins, friends, etc. by just inviting aunts/uncles.  At the same time, we don't want to offend them by not sending them an invitation.

The compromise(?): My idea is to send a wedding 'announcement' to those who we cannot afford to invite instead of an invitation.  Is this acceptable?

The ask: Please, please, please help us with some advice on how to handle this

mysticl

I'd go with the announcement. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Yes, you can do formal announcements. But you send them the day of the wedding, not before the wedding, so there's no confusion. They're worded like an invitation, but in the past tense.

*tinkertoy*

Yes! Go with the announcement!

We made the mistake of inviting cousins and second cousins to not offend, knowing they would not come...guess what?

quotequeen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_overseas-invitation-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:9c75ddb8-9425-47dc-aea0-84b9f8b178a7Post:211c8ce5-d381-4d4f-bf26-0ab2ee40dbaa">Re: Overseas Invitation Dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, you can do formal announcements. But you send them the day of the wedding, not before the wedding, so there's no confusion. They're worded like an invitation, but in the past tense.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

This.  Wedding announcements may be sent, but only after the wedding.

amandaswisher1

Have small get together in Canada after the wedding so your Aunts/Uncles and friends there can celebrate with you. Do a backyard BBQ or something economical so it doesn't break the bank since cleary cost is an issue. Your parents are the ones making the issue of it so see if they'll help out. I think a lot of couples who have destination type weddings or weddings where half of the family can't come do this type of thing.

vickiloew

I'm dealing with this exact scenario.  I'm considering sending announcements to anyone we can't afford to invite who liveout of town but I'm still on the fence about it.  I like the idea of sending announcements because we can't risk people showing up from other countries if they are not familiar or aware of the RSVP request.  FI's dad insists that none of them will actually come but would be a nice gesture to invite them anyway but I'm seriously worried that they will all come anyway without RSVPing.  I think I will talk more to FI and his dad to see if he is okay with just sending announcements.  But then again, he is paying for the honeymoon and rehearsal dinner, so I'm just not sure.

JennaV26

Go with the announcements. I gave DH's parents 10 extra "courtesy" invitations to invite people "who definitely would not come," and most of them came. Thtough in all fairness I can't tell if they were just lying to me to invite more people or if they honestly didn't believe these people would come. Either way it was an issue.

mica178

Go with the announcements and send them after the wedding.  We definitely are having people who my FMIL/FI said would "definitely not come" at our wedding.  Also, wedding invitations sort of come with an unspoken expectation of a gift.  Wedding announcements do not require gifts.