help with wording for after-party invitations

tricia.matos

my fiance and i are having a pretty small ceremony/reception during the afternoon but want to make sure everyone gets a chance to celebrate with us.  we've decided to host an evening "after-party" at a local bar and want to send out a second set of invites (or evites) so that guests know about the celebration and feel as welcome and included as the guests that will be at the earlier shindig.  i'm looking for help with the wording that incorporates our themes (bicycles, literature, birds) and mentions that we got hitched earlier that afternoon.  maybe something about a bicycle built for two? any suggestions?

williebans

I can help. ... I write couples' stories in a real, compelling narrative. Visit www.OurOnceUponATime.com and email me at stories@ouronceuponatime.com. --Will

banana468

Before you do this, please know that this can come across as being rude to your guests.

The guests at the after party won't feel as welcome as the guests at your wedding reception because they weren't invited to it.  And it's perfectly fine to have an intimate wedding and reception, but with that means no second tier guests who didn't make the first cut.

An after party is perfectly fine - and a bicycle built for two with two lovebirds on it could be a great invitation theme.  However please don't turn it into an event for those you didn't invite to the main one.  You may be stepping on quite a few toes by doing things that way even if that wasn't your intention.

trix1223

Sorry, I agree with banana on this.  I would not be a happy camper if I received an invitation to an after-party for a wedding I wasn't invited to.  I'm reasonably certain that I'd decline the "honor" of the invitation.

NikkiPSU

I had friends that did this last summer.  They had a small ceremony and lunch and then sent out a Facebook invite to those they didn't invite to join them at a local bar with hotel and registry.  I thought this was extremely rude!  Now if it is just a few close friends that understand the situation, why don't you just tell them in person where they can meet you that evening. 

HisCB

i would try to have a larger ceremony, then instead of a reception, have the afterparty. you get the best of both worlds.

if your ceremony is truely small, like only immediate family. i think your friends would understand the afterparty only invite. my brother and his wife had an immediate family only ceremony, then a few days later had a reception with everyone. no one seemed offended by it.
i would definitly make no mention of gifts, even putting NO GIFTS on the invitation would be nice.
you know your guests better than we do.

something about being amongst the clouds, you can have a tandem bike riding in a cloud with birds flying around?

banana468

HisCB's advice is also incorrect.

Anyone you invite to the ceremony MUST be invited to the reception.  So if you're actually sending invitations to the ceremony and not saying that it's open to anyone that wishes to attend, you must invite those there to the reception.

Mentioning anything about gifts anywhere on the invitation is also not correct. 


I will sort of agree that I'd understand an extremely small ceremony and reception with an after party days later a bit better than one that's hours later.   But it still reeks a bit of wanting to have cake and eat it too.

tricia.matos

wow, i didn't realize this was such a faux pas.  the few friends that we mentioned it to seemed to completely understand that due to our large families and extremely small budget, there would not be a lot of friends coming to the actual wedding.  some even talked of going to the bar early to decorate for us!  everyone already knows that it's their presence and not presents that we're interested in and i thought it would just be a happy way for everyone to celebrate.  i know that there have been weddings that i was a bit upset about not having been invited to, but had they had an open-invite party, i would have loved to go just to share in their happiness.  i did not realize that would come across as being selfish.