failed etiquette? ):

jesannnne

I just found out that you're not suppose to put those wedding registry informations with your invitations and I already put them together and sealed off. I feel bad cause I heard it was bad etiquette and I don't want to seem rude. My intention was not because I wanted gifts but when I did my registry the registry people told me to put it along my invites, so I thought it would be fine. Should I redo my invitations or does it really matter? Its really bothering me because I made my own invitations and they're all pretty much done. What should I do? 

ShakeUpTampa

Take them out. I have seen a few come around and I find it tacky and tasteless. IT can be told via word of mouth, website, or in a shower invite (which it's prefered not the insert but writing it). If you can slip them out without too much harm I would do it. Unless that is the norm in your circle. I personally would side eye it and not buy off it.

lalaith50

(Sigh. Of course the registry people told you to put the cards in--- they want to make as much money as possible! grr...)

I think that unless people are completely up-to-date on proper wedding etiquette, the vast majority of people really won't care if they get a registry card. I would estimate that about 30-40% of invites I've ever gotten have included a registry card.

Perhaps if you're really worried, you could just open and re-do the ones fror people who might actually care? (like, your friend who got married last year and didnt include registry cards, or your Aunt Millie who is a stickler for etiquette...)

ETA: oh, and jesannnne --- I don't know about you, but I'm not friends with anyone, nor was anyone invited to my wedding, who would have been so offended that they  would go so far as to avoid buying from it. So, only you know your audience! :-)

banana468

Take them out.  They're in very bad taste and when they've been used, people I know in separate occasions have brought it up.

Steam open the envelopes and get started.  This is one where I'd eat the cost of new envelopes and postage if necessary.

MyNameIsNot

Definitely get them out.  It's not a harmless thing that a lot of people do or something that only people who are sticklers for etiquette notice.  It is very rude, and comes off that you are only interested in the gift.  

While it may or may not have an effect on what people actually give you, it's more likely to have an effect on what your friends and family think about you.  They may not do it on purpose, but a blatant gift grab is going to sink into their subconscience. 

Use steam to re-open the envelopes and a glue stick to seal them again.  Or re-do the envelopes.  

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_failed-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:a304fcdd-8bec-4e55-a729-ae6b8c1fbe3cPost:c4659694-a0c9-4c07-82c1-ee0842dc448b">Re: failed etiquette? ):</a>:
[QUOTE](Sigh. Of course the registry people told you to put the cards in--- they want to make as much money as possible! grr...) I think that unless people are completely up-to-date on proper wedding etiquette, the vast majority of people really won't care if they get a registry card. I would estimate that about 30-40% of invites I've ever gotten have included a registry card. Perhaps if you're really worried, you could just open and re-do the ones fror people who might actually care? (like, your friend who got married last year and didnt include registry cards, or your Aunt Millie who is a stickler for etiquette...) ETA: oh, and jesannnne --- I don't know about you, but I'm not friends with anyone, nor was anyone invited to my wedding, who would have been so offended that they  would go so far as to avoid buying from it. So, only you know your audience! :-)
Posted by lalaith50[/QUOTE]

I've never received registry information in a wedding invitation and I once recieved a gift request in the invitation.  DH and I both rolled our eyes at it.  To date my mom has received registry information in the invitation ONE time and believe me - she wasn't pleased.

aragx6

The steam suggestion for opening it is a good one, but however you open them, I agree that you need to. Registry information in the invitation is very rude, and there will be offended people. It's very easy to find out where someone is registered -- the card is absolutely unnecessary.

It's good that you caught this when you did -- now you'll be able to fix it!

RyansBelovedBride

I'm sorry the registry people gave you such bad advice. There's lots of wedding industry craziness because most brides don't know better about things...

I agree you should try to open them and get the registry cards out.  I'm sorry.

Grits8812

honestly, i wouldnt see it as a big deal. that being said, i like having all info i can about things like this, instead of having to call around to people and ask where you are registered, call others and tell them, then go track down the registry.  

maybe thats just me.

ShakeUpTampa

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_failed-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:a304fcdd-8bec-4e55-a729-ae6b8c1fbe3cPost:b5db8c1b-9b8a-4718-856c-0552137f5e0f">Re: failed etiquette? ):</a>:
[QUOTE]honestly, i wouldnt see it as a big deal. that being said, i like having all info i can about things like this, instead of having to call around to people and ask where you are registered, call others and tell them, then go track down the registry.   maybe thats just me.
Posted by Grits8812[/QUOTE]



Anyone with common sense can google up a couples name and registries pop up. It is public information. Or THEKNOT links a ton together. I am not even going to a wedding nor was invited to one next week but was able to find both their registries in less then 5 min. Those who are not sure will normally gift gc or cash/checks.

Grits8812

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_failed-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:a304fcdd-8bec-4e55-a729-ae6b8c1fbe3cPost:8d3b3286-8334-41e3-968a-5a5743ab7685">Re: failed etiquette? ):</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: failed etiquette? ): : Anyone with common sense can google up a couples name and registries pop up. It is public information. Or THEKNOT links a ton together. I am not even going to a wedding nor was invited to one next week but was able to find both their registries in less then 5 min. Those who are not sure will normally gift gc or cash/checks.
Posted by ShakeUpTampa[/QUOTE]
i have plenty of common sense, but to me its just not a big deal.  im not putting them in mine because we are all close to everyone coming, so we will tell them to their face. but ive gotten registry notes a few times, and it didnt bother anyone.

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_failed-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:a304fcdd-8bec-4e55-a729-ae6b8c1fbe3cPost:47c20605-336c-4e4a-9d14-484a49a82e92">Re: failed etiquette? ):</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: failed etiquette? ): : i have plenty of common sense, but to me its just not a big deal.  im not putting them in mine because we are all close to everyone coming, so we will tell them to their face. but ive gotten registry notes a few times, and it didnt bother anyone.
Posted by Grits8812[/QUOTE]

It may not be a big deal to you but it IS a big deal to others.  And whether you agree or not, the fact is that it's not appropriate etiquette to do that.

And here's the thing about saying, "it didn't bother anyone": People don't tell others that they feel bothered.  It's often something kept inside or only shared with intimate friends.  Part of proper etiquette is not calling someone out on her bad behavior so the offenders may never know that they had guests rolling their eyes at their offenses.

jesannnne

THANKS LADIES~ FI said he doesnt mind buying new envelopes. I was really upset and he made me feel better (: xoxo 

mrsdstahl

Don't beat yourself up! It is certainly not bad ettiquite for you to not add a registry! It is important however that your bridal party and close family know your needs and wants so they will be able to pass on the info as your guests will ask those questions. 

Hope that helps. Sarah