Sorry this post is soooo looong. So we are having a problem with our guest list....I know it is stressful to come up with a guest list for everyone...but here is my dilemma.
My family is not a huge part of my life. I will be inviting them, but they probably won't show, and there are only like 12 people to invite for my side of the family.
My Fiance's family is HUGE. We don't get along with all of them either. We have been together for 5 years now. His sister is a huge issue and he doesn't want her invited. This then causes issues with the parents, but before he even asked me to be his wife he, and then we, had a conversation with his parents about how his sister will not ever (no negotations) be invited to the wedding. We also have a few issues with one of his cousins. So if we don't invite that cousin but other cousins his aunt will be mad..yadda yadda...but his Aunt is not very nice, so who cares anyways...yadda yadda.
We both want just a very very small wedding of 50 close people and family. Maybe up to 75. I don't mind his mother's side, we all get along, but she has 14 brother's and sisters. And if we invite his dad's side, we have to of course invite his mom's side. Honestly if we were to invite only the family members we want, all the aunts and uncles from both sides and our close friends....its about 75 people that would actually come....which is fine with me. But if we invite the family we have to invite his sister and the cousin we don't wanna invite..yadda yadda....so it's this HUGE dilemma!!
My thoughts were to not invite everyone. ONLY the people we want to invite...a few of his side, a few from my side (only like 4 would show up since they live in a different state), and all of our friends. Then a week later have a picnic and say "In lieu of a wedding present, please bring a dish to pass", because we can't afford both a huge picnic reception catered and our wedding in the 1000 islands (destination wedding 4 hours away from where we livee), and we don't care about presents. His mom doesn't like that idea and is pushing for a bigger wedding...which we don't want...just so that we HAVE to invite his sister, because we don't feel comfortable from excluding her from huge family events. Yes, she and the cousin would be invited to the picnic, but OUR wedding day would be seperate and we would at least have OUR DAY be a happy drama free one. The picnic I could care less about....its celebrating us, including everyone...but I feel it's more like a family reunion than our wedding day.
What do you think we should do??