RUINED INVITES!

newmeg2

my maid of honor lives 2000 miles away and felt like she should do more to "be a bigger part" of the wedding planning. My fiance had told her that we still hadn't done our invites yet and she said as a surprise to me she wanted to do them. SO while I had been making our address list, my iance was sendning her our addresses as i went so she could not only make them but send them off as well. So, here it is too late to do anything now since they have been sent out and I finally saw what she had done....and they are terrible!!!! The two things i didn't want HEARTS and WHITE invitations, and of course got them both. It looks like they were clip art-ed to death and I just cried. I know they came from her heart but i can't get over it. I'm really upset and not only did she send them out but she didn't put a stamp on the response envelope. How do i fix this?? I love my best friend but am so angry that she ruined my invitations. What do I do? I don't want people to think i'm cheap either by not having a stamp!

banana468

I'd call people and do damage control. "I just want to apologize for my oversight and let you know that if you'd prefer to just call me with the response, I understand."

Don't apologize for your MOH - take responsibility.

As for your MOH - did you tell her it was OK to send?  Did she just take that on herself?  I think a gentle, "Honey I really love that you took the time to do this.  However because these were my wedding invitations, I really wished that you ran the wording and design by me before sending them.  I do appreciate all you did though and it means the world to me that you took the time out of your busy life to do this."

swim1011

This could have been avoided by asking your friend to show you her ideas before the invites were sent, or doing them yourself.  She didn't ruin your invites if you never took the time to approve them first, and I think you should be more angry at yourself than your friend. 

Truthfully, I probably wouldn't be that worried about the stamps.  I'd be annoyed if an invite arrived without it, but I wouldn't think the person was cheap, necessarily.  People are going to RSVP however they want to.  If you have a wedding website on mywedding.com, you could turn on the RSVP option so anyone who wants could repsond that way. 

lyndausvi

Wow, I'm sorry that happend... But for the life of me I can't understand why you did not proof them first. 

janedoe1113a

I'm also wondering why you didn't proof them.  There was no way I would have let anyone send out invitations to my wedding without me proofing them.

heizer10910

wow. just wow. i agree with rotella in that nothing about your wedding should be a surprise besides toasts or something.  i mean i know you don't want to be like a bridezilla but i think my inner bridezilla would come out here.  the no stamp thing is OK and i liked what swim1011 said.  if you don't have a wedding website, i would set one up quickly (and make it pretty) to allow folks to online RSVP. good luck and just remember this is only one small thing all will be well when you marry your lovely other half

squirrly

Too late to resend.  Say thanks, take care of all other paper goods yourself, and call/email/etc. your guests to let them know how to RSVP.

If it makes you feel better, most of the people declining for us just want to phone it in anyway - and I provided stamps!  So, at least you won't have those go to waste.

janedoe1113a

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_ruined-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:a6813b29-de4d-44d3-b3a8-3aafb5c4fa54Post:9c5aa7bd-e4b6-4a94-8352-c93bdef50101">Re: RUINED INVITES!</a>:
[QUOTE]Too late to resend.  Say thanks, take care of all other paper goods yourself, and call/email/etc. your guests to let them know how to RSVP. <strong>If it makes you feel better, most of the people declining for us just want to phone it in anyway - and I provided stamps!  So, at least you won't have those go to waste.</strong>
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]

Yup, we were missing over half of our RSVP cards and we provided stamps. 

puokgirl

Wow.  Ditto PPs.

My sister lives 5 minutes away.  She's making my invites for me.  Even though I trust her implicitly to make invites that I'd like (or love if they're truly excellent), I still insisted on looking them over.  First an electronic copy, then a paper mock-up.  I'm glad I did.  There were spacing and wording errors that would have been sent if I hadn't looked them over.

I wouldn't resend the invites, because that would confuse the guests and hurt your friend.  I also wouldn't call them to apologize.  Most people don't remember invitations, so I'd probably ignore it.  If anyone makes a snide comment about your invites, just say something like "My good friend made them as a helpful surprise to me." 

To put it all into perspective: As long as the date, time, place and your names were right, the invites were not ruined.  They successfully extended an invitation to your wedding.

Spunkchin

You seriously cannot blame your MOH for "ruining" the invitations. YOU allowed her to make and send them without giving any feedback. It was very nice of her to take on that task for you (when she didn't have to) and while you don't like them, you should still thank her.

Tisha.

Just to make sure I understand correctly... your MOH and your Fiance sort of did this together, as a surprise for you?  Is that right?

A lot of people are assuming that you knew about it before they were sent and CHOSE not to proofread, but that's not what I got from your original post.

I agree that there's really nothing that can be done, other than some phone calls and emails, as damage control, about the lack of stamps.

I'd probably also have a HUGE talk with your fiance, about what should and should NOT be a surprise to you, about this wedding.  Because, it seems that he's the main one to blame, IMO.    If the MOH suggested she do the invites to him, then he should have had the foresight to respectfully decline that offer.

chelley599

That really  sucks.  I don't know if I am reading your post wrong or other are but I assume you had no idea what was going on and therefore could not proof.  I may be wrong here.  If it was a complete surprise, then really I think your FI should have known better and then again your MOH should have to.  A bride likes some surprises but not sure this is one of them.  It really was sweet of your MOH though to want to help.  As others have said, not alot you can do about it now.  Just get in touch with guests and accept what is already done.  Sorry again

sphinx24

I think regardless of whether she was aware of what was going on or not she needs to move forward. As someone else mentioned, as long as the names, places, times and dates are correct but the style of the invitation was not what she wanted its NOT THAT BAD. If people want to make comments then she can deal with that but premptive apologies for an invitation that is not polished?

I don't think she should draw unnecessary attention to it. If on the other hand information was wrong then she should make sure to correct it through either a revised invitation or website or even contacting them directly.