Invites and Paper

Is it Tacky?

Hi Ladies! I am look for some unbiased opinons! My husband and I got married last Jan with just us and our moh and bm. We have been living together for about 3 years and now have 2 kids together. We are pretty set household wise aside from updating a few things. We are having our "wedding" in sept with a full reception after. We are getting ready to mail out our invites and didn't register for much... as there isnt much we need. However we are looking into buying our first home for our family. Sooooo someone suggested that with the little sheet of paper that says "The couple is registered at... blah blah" we could add on the bottom. "The best gift we could recieve would be our own home. Any monitary gift will be used as a down payment to make our dream come true"

Is this tacky? or could it work?

Re: Is it Tacky?

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_is-it-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:b2622821-9d47-41d8-b3a6-f1a64f712549Post:ee6fd80b-7a86-4d2d-962c-aae023aa777f">Is it Tacky?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi Ladies! I am look for some unbiased opinons! My husband and I got married last Jan with just us and our moh and bm. We have been living together for about 3 years and now have 2 kids together. We are pretty set household wise aside from updating a few things. We are having our "wedding" in sept with a full reception after. We are getting ready to mail out our invites and didn't register for much... as there isnt much we need. However we are looking into buying our first home for our family. Sooooo someone suggested that with the little sheet of paper that says "The couple is registered at... blah blah" we could add on the bottom. "The best gift we could recieve would be our own home. Any monitary gift will be used as a down payment to make our dream come true" Is this tacky? or could it work?
    Posted by NicCurly5[/QUOTE]


    Your wedding was last January. This will be a vow renewal/celebration. I wouldn't register for it and definitely wouldn't put anything about registering or asking for cash with the invitation.
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  • Its not a vowel renewal its a formal affirmation ceremony. We were planning on getting married in March but because I was preggers with our 2nd child we pushed the date back to sept for the formal event. We got married early because it was the best thing for our little family financially. And since we are paying for the big day ourselves and having a full reception after to party and celebrate I don't see why we should miss out on any of the regular festivities. We have had people ask us what we would like and my attendants are already planning showers and even a belated bachelorette party. I am not that traditional of a girl...
  • DiLynn83DiLynn83 member
    100 Comments
    edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_is-it-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:b2622821-9d47-41d8-b3a6-f1a64f712549Post:ee6fd80b-7a86-4d2d-962c-aae023aa777f">Is it Tacky?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi Ladies! <strong>I am look for some unbiased opinons!</strong> My husband and I got married last Jan with just us and our moh and bm. We have been living together for about 3 years and now have 2 kids together. We are pretty set household wise aside from updating a few things. We are having our "wedding" in sept with a full reception after. We are getting ready to mail out our invites and didn't register for much... as there isnt much we need. However we are looking into buying our first home for our family. Sooooo someone suggested that with the little sheet of paper that says "The couple is registered at... blah blah" we could add on the bottom. "The best gift we could recieve would be our own home. Any monitary gift will be used as a down payment to make our dream come true" Is this tacky? or could it work?
    Posted by NicCurly5[/QUOTE]

    <div>Well, ya certainly got them lol.</div><div>
    </div><div>But PPs are correct - in layman's terms, this is pretty much the same thing as a vow renewal.  Legally, you are already married.  Your union is just being recognized within the church.  But the important thing is that <em>legally you are already married.  </em>Therefore, the time for bridesmaids and groomsmen, wedding registries, bachelorette parties and reception traditions has passed.  They are no longer appropriate.  As such, your original question no longer applies.  It's not about being a "traditional kind of girl," it's about what is and is not socially acceptable behavior.</div>
  • PeavyPeavy member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    It's tacky to mention anything about gifts on an invitations.

    Now...My husband and I got married last Jan with just us and our moh and bm. We are having our "wedding" in sept with a full reception after.

    You can't have your wedding in September, because you already had it in January!!  You're married.  The wedding ship has sailed.  You don't get a mulligan on a wedding, you're either married, or you're not.  And you are.  You got married in January.  You missed out on the PPD because you made a financial decision, now you need to live with the consequences of that decision.

    And as far as a "vow renewal" to me that's just a watered down do-over wedding.  Who renews their vows after nine months?  If you want to have the big party you missed out on, then have an anniversary party.  But no exchanging of vows, walking down the aisle, attendants, big poofy dress, showers, etc, because those are things that belong in a wedding, and you already had yours.  Nine months after the wedding is too late for a reception/celebration, and too early for an anniversary party. 

    If you are saving money for a house, then just skip the do-over and put that money towards the down payment.
  • OBX2011OBX2011 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_is-it-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:b2622821-9d47-41d8-b3a6-f1a64f712549Post:fbb186b1-27cc-4ac5-9d33-fae299fc538d">Re: Is it Tacky?</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's tacky to mention anything about gifts on an invitations. Now... My husband and I got married last Jan with just us and our moh and bm. We are having our "wedding" in sept with a full reception after. You can't have your wedding in September, because you already had it in January !!  You're married.  The wedding ship has sailed.  You don't get a mulligan on a wedding, you're either married, or you're not.  And you are.  You got married in January.  You missed out on the PPD because you made a financial decision, now you need to live with the consequences of that decision. And as far as a "vow renewal" to me that's just a watered down do-over wedding.  Who renews their vows after nine months?  If you want to have the big party you missed out on, then have an anniversary party.  But no exchanging of vows, walking down the aisle, attendants, big poofy dress, showers, etc, because those are things that belong in a wedding, and you already had yours.  Nine months after the wedding is too late for a reception/celebration, and too early for an anniversary party.  If you are saving money for a house, then just skip the do-over and put that money towards the down payment.
    Posted by Peavy[/QUOTE]

    THIS

     

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited May 2012
    It's a vow renewal or the religious blessing (convalidation if you're Catholic).  It isn't a wedding - and even the Catholic church does not believe that a vow renewal gets the same frills as a legally binding wedding.  

    You may have already asked people to be in your party however if you have not already done so, please do not.  Bridal parties are not appropriate if you're not a bride.  As you two are already married, having attendants would not be a good idea.

    Furthermore, registries are not appropriate as you two are already married.  A registry is fine if you're getting married but you two have already tied the knot.  A registry is over the top as are pre-wedding parties. 

    Putting where you are registered or asking for any kind of present for yourself in writing anywhere is not OK. 

    Have the vow renewal (not vowel) or blessing that you two would like - but make sure you treat it with the dignity that it deserves and not like you're trying to do over what you should joyously celebrate.
  • HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited May 2012
    Here is my unbiased opinion- what you're doing is ridiculous.  You already had your wedding in January.  You already look greedy buy having another event in September.  Since you're already being tacky go ahead and ask for cash.
     
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  • Have your vow renewal, have a cake, have food and dancing. Even wear a white dress if you want to, but avoid the big princess wedding dress. Don't have a "first dance".  Don't have a wedding party.  Don't register or ask for gifts in any way.  Certainly do not put ANY mention of gifts on your invitation.   Don't have prewedding parties (showers or a bachelorette party).  Those ships have sailed.

    You are already married.   You made a choice to get married to financially benefit you and your family.  The consequence to that decision is, you missed out on the big wedding.   Hopefully, the financial benefit was enough... but, even if it wasn't, you two are married.  A vow renewal is your only option. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_is-it-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:b2622821-9d47-41d8-b3a6-f1a64f712549Post:fbb186b1-27cc-4ac5-9d33-fae299fc538d">Re: Is it Tacky?</a>:
    [QUOTE]  If you are saving money for a house, then just skip the do-over and put that money towards the down payment.
    Posted by Peavy[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>THIS! This is the adult choice in this situation.

    </div>
    imageimageimage
  • edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_is-it-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:b2622821-9d47-41d8-b3a6-f1a64f712549Post:fbb186b1-27cc-4ac5-9d33-fae299fc538d">Re: Is it Tacky?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you are saving money for a house, then just skip the do-over and put that money towards the down payment.
    Posted by Peavy[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>This!  If your dream is to buy a house why waste your money trying to have an awkward do-over wedding?  Save <strong>YOUR</strong> money for <strong>YOUR</strong> house!  Don't ask your friends/family to come to a wedding that already happened and give you money for a house!  Please!!</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>ETA:  Who the heck voted it was ok to do this on the poll?</div>
    :)AJ Pregnancy Ticker
  • Holy Crap! why are you all so angry sounding? I didn't even say that I wanted to do this.... I posted asking for a reason and not to make a mistake.... I am since then talked out of it. I did not ask nor do I care about your opinions on my "Pretty Princess Day"
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_is-it-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:b2622821-9d47-41d8-b3a6-f1a64f712549Post:acb74307-a987-4241-9304-91fa4dc3662f">Re: Is it Tacky?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it Tacky? :   Um, because part of being real growed up adult is accepting that actions have consequences, and life doesn't owe you anything? 
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

     Actions have consequences? Getting married and having children are a blessing and should be happy times you celebrate.
  • Getting married and having children ARE things you celebrate.

    However the time to celebrate your wedding was AT your wedding.

    You can certainly celebrate your vow renewal - but you won't be getting married at that event and it won't be your wedding.

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