Invitation wording for vow renewal

iluvmy0341

My husband and I were married in the courthouse and are now having a big wedding for the family. Is it OK to put traditional wording on the invitation or do we need to specify that it is a vow renewal? Noone came to our courthouse wedding--it was just the two of us.

GeauxTigers17

Yes, you absolutely need to let people know it is a vow renewal. It does not matter that no one came to the courthouse wedding - traditional wording would imply you are getting married at the "big" ceremony, and you aren't.

If you are doing this vow renewal as a religious thing, you can phrase it as a blessing of a civil marriage, but again, that would only be if you are doing it so your church recognizes your marriage. Either way, you need to be clear about what's actually going on.

iluvmy0341

Any ideas on how to do it?! I was thinking:

Mr. Father of the Bride
requests the honor of your presence as
My name
and
Husband's name
renew their wedding vows on
Date
at
Time


I Googled it and search returns traditional wedding invite wording :-/

vicki0508

Is your father paying for/hosting the event?  I feel like most of the vow renewal invites are worded as being hosted by the couple.

Together with their families  (you could omit this line)
Your name
and
H's name
request the honor of your presence
as they renew their vows
date
time
place

GeauxTigers17

I agree with vicki - I would find it a bit odd to see a vow renewal being hosted by the parents of the bride, but I'm not sure what the etiquette is.

thesequel

p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 11.3px 'Footlight MT Light'}

Because you have shared in our lives with your love and friendship, the pleasure of your company is requested at the reaffirmation of the wedding vows of

Jane and John Smith

 

Location

Date

Time

 

 

Good luck!

 

 

 

iluvmy0341

thesequel--thanks! I like that one alot!

And yeah my Dad is hosting it and yes I am wearing a dress and having attendants because we are having a ceremony as well as the reception.

thesequel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invitation-wording-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:bbfbe56a-5cfa-47e8-9286-7a15321f1990Post:da7c7bc0-c430-4f22-8094-154e31047e85">Re: Invitation wording for vow renewal</a>:
[QUOTE]thesequel--thanks! I like that one alot! And yeah my Dad is hosting it and yes I am wearing a dress and having attendants because we are having a ceremony as well as the reception.
Posted by iluvmy0341[/QUOTE]

<div>No problem.  Good luck and have fun!  :)</div>

mommybrim

I say go for it on wearing a gown, having a full ceremony & a reception.  It is your & your husband's vow renewal, you should do it how you want.  My husband & I are renewing ours next May on our 5th anniversary & are including our sons this time.  I am wearing a dress as well, but this time it is going to be a tea length wedding dress instead of a full gown like I wore the first time.

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invitation-wording-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:bbfbe56a-5cfa-47e8-9286-7a15321f1990Post:86c01a0c-d787-43c8-9079-8ac3e2e60705">Re: Invitation wording for vow renewal</a>:
[QUOTE]I say go for it on wearing a gown, having a full ceremony & a reception.  It is your & your husband's vow renewal, you should do it how you want.  My husband & I are renewing ours next May on our 5th anniversary & are including our sons this time.  I am wearing a dress as well, but this time it is going to be a tea length wedding dress instead of a full gown like I wore the first time.
Posted by mommybrim[/QUOTE]

A big gown isn't appropriate for a renewal. It isn't appropriate etiquette to wear one

jena.n.ross

In Response to <a style="text-decoration:none;font-weight:normal;color:#1f1f1f;" href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invitation-wording-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:bbfbe56a-5cfa-47e8-9286-7a15321f1990Post:da7c7bc0-c430-4f22-8094-154e31047e85">Re: Invitation wording for vow renewal</a>:
[QUOTE]thesequel--thanks! I like that one alot! And yeah <strong>my Dad is hosting it and yes I am wearing a dress and having attendants because we are having a ceremony</strong> as well as the reception.
Posted by iluvmy0341[/QUOTE]
You've already had a ceremony.  You're going to look silly pretending to be a bride.

mommybrim

I found this and thought that it was appropriate for this situation.  Even TheKnot says that you can have your big wedding celebration for your vow renewal...

Some couples decide to renew their vows to finally have the big wedding celebration they couldn't afford when they first got married. Maybe you recently went through a traumatic time together (say, one of you was dangerously ill) and you want to reaffirm your commitment to each other. Or, you've made it to 10, 25, or 50 years together and you want the world to know that you'd do it all over again if you could.

Read more: Vows: How to Renew Yours - TheKnot.com http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-ceremony/articles/how-to-renew-your-wedding-vows.aspx#ixzz1LkcSwfiq

banana468

You can have a great renewal of vows but it should NOT be an attempt to recreate the wedding.

mommybrim

I am a very firm believer that, no matter what, it is the couple's choice on how they wish to renew their vows.  No one has any right to tell a couple how to run their wedding and/or renewel ceremony. 

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invitation-wording-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:bbfbe56a-5cfa-47e8-9286-7a15321f1990Post:ba659869-39a4-4246-86f3-d6426c363ee9">Re: Invitation wording for vow renewal</a>:
[QUOTE]I am a very firm believer that, no matter what, it is the couple's choice on how they wish to renew their vows.  No one has any right to tell a couple how to run their wedding and/or renewel ceremony. 
Posted by mommybrim[/QUOTE]

As adults they can certainly do what they want. However if they throw etiquette to the wind, they need to accept the social repercussions of those choices.

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invitation-wording-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:bbfbe56a-5cfa-47e8-9286-7a15321f1990Post:e4330ea3-79bf-4aea-87c6-c5481a588717">Re: Invitation wording for vow renewal</a>:
[QUOTE]I found this and thought that it was appropriate for this situation.  Even TheKnot says that you can have your big wedding celebration for your vow renewal... Some couples decide to renew their vows to finally have the big wedding celebration they couldn't afford when they first got married. Maybe you recently went through a traumatic time together (say, one of you was dangerously ill) and you want to reaffirm your commitment to each other. Or, you've made it to 10, 25, or 50 years together and you want the world to know that you'd do it all over again if you could. Read more: Vows: How to Renew Yours - TheKnot.com <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-ceremony/articles/how-to-renew-your-wedding-vows.aspx#ixzz1LkcSwfiq" rel='nofollow'>http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-ceremony/articles/how-to-renew-your-wedding-vows.aspx#ixzz1LkcSwfiq</a>
Posted by mommybrim[/QUOTE]

Well, of COURSE, the Knot says it's okay.  What is the reason for The Knot's existence?  To continue to sell wedding stuff.  I would recommend never taking advice from an entity that stands to gain financially from taking their "advice".

Do you really think that an arm of the wedding industry would say "No, it's not appropriate to have all the 'wedding stuff' at a vow renewal"?

For the OP:  you're married.  What you're having is NOT a wedding, and any invitations should reflect that this is not a wedding.  Congratulations on being a married woman.

pretzelgrrl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invitation-wording-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:bbfbe56a-5cfa-47e8-9286-7a15321f1990Post:55229a9f-0ac8-49f3-9848-8f026f4ea8de">Re: Invitation wording for vow renewal</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invitation wording for vow renewal : A big gown isn't appropriate for a renewal. It isn't appropriate etiquette to wear one
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

But then again...don't people say it's not appropriate or proper etiquette for a 2nd time bride to wear a big gown...and I think it totally is. And wasn't there a time when it wasn't proper etiquette to wear white if you were not a virgin...and no one care about tht anymore...I think as long as you are not rude some etiquette can go out the window.

banana468

Big gowns for 2nd weddings arent all that appropriate either. The wearing of a white dress has nothing to do with virginity. It's a tradition that people confused over the years.

ChrisF75

Who says it isn't etiqette to wear a gown for a renewal?  If you get married in a court house, that isn't a wedding, thats simply getting married.

My husband and I are planning a vow renewal ceremony with wedding and reception for our 15th Anniversary nexg year.  When we got "Married" it was at a court house with he and I and the judge.  How can you call that a wedding?

KellyBrian2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invitation-wording-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:bbfbe56a-5cfa-47e8-9286-7a15321f1990Post:5e307973-cc24-448c-92bf-d075142f2e4d">Re: Invitation wording for vow renewal</a>:
[QUOTE]Who says it isn't etiqette to wear a gown for a renewal?  <strong>If you get married in a court house, that isn't a wedding, thats simply getting married</strong>. My husband and I are planning a vow renewal ceremony with wedding and reception for our 15th Anniversary nexg year.  When we got "Married" it was at a court house with he and I and the judge. <strong> How can you call that a wedding?
</strong>Posted by ChrisF75[/QUOTE]

You call it a wedding because, by definition, a wedding takes place WHEN A COUPLE IS MARRIED. 

A courthouse wedding was exactly that - a WEDDING. To say otherwise is an insult to the thousands of brides who choose to have a courthouse wedding as their only wedding.

shortee426

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invitation-wording-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:bbfbe56a-5cfa-47e8-9286-7a15321f1990Post:5e307973-cc24-448c-92bf-d075142f2e4d">Re: Invitation wording for vow renewal</a>:
[QUOTE]Who says it isn't etiqette to wear a gown for a renewal?  If you get married in a court house, that isn't a wedding, thats simply getting married. My husband and I are planning a vow renewal ceremony with wedding and reception for our 15th Anniversary nexg year.  When we got "Married" it was at a court house with he and I and the judge.  How can you call that a wedding?
Posted by ChrisF75[/QUOTE]

<div>So...according to your logic you're not REALLY married. You're only kinda sorta "married." To which I ask...what are you celebrating your 15th anniversary of? I'm sorry that you were clearly disappointed that your "marriage" was strictly about the love between you and your husband and not a huge party, but that's the choice you  made. And it's actually quite insulting to view a couthouse wedding as not being valid. One of my best friends had a courthouse wedding and she wouldn't change it for the world.</div><div>
</div><div>You do not need to have a wedding (in the sense of many guests at a church/temple/reception hall followed by a blowout reception) in order to get married. However, you do need to get married in order to have a wedding. It's sorta like the difference between a rectangle and a square...a square is a rectangle, but a rectangle is not always a square.</div>

jennkriner

Oh my goodness...some people need to get over themselves. My husband and I are renewing our vows for our 15th anniversary this year and I am SOOO wearing a dress...and I am SOOO having my sisters stand with me, and I SOOO don't care about the "etiquette" of the entire thing. And if by "accepting the social repercussions" it means that I won't be a degrading miserable up tight person like banana...then I am COMPLETELY FINE with it!! Geesh...you have too much time on your hands if you have nothing better to do than scold grown women who have a God (and American) given right to do whatever they darn well please.

Cgrindlay

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invitation-wording-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:bbfbe56a-5cfa-47e8-9286-7a15321f1990Post:a1abd356-dc33-44fa-a90d-2de10e181a1c">Re: Invitation wording for vow renewal</a>:
[QUOTE]You can have a great renewal of vows but it should NOT be an attempt to recreate the wedding.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

Why don't you get a life and give your ettiquite lessons to someone who cares.  You've apparently been married for awhile so why are you still posting on this site?  Everyone deserves their day to shine no matter when they signed that piece of paper.  I'm sure you make your husband REAL happy, and judging by that baby's face you make your children REAL happy also... perfect life you got there eh? go fly a kite

Douglass38

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invitation-wording-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:bbfbe56a-5cfa-47e8-9286-7a15321f1990Post:f60808d1-c4b9-45ef-b272-e64d9fbdfa3a">Re: Invitation wording for vow renewal</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invitation wording for vow renewal :   You are not a bride.  You are a married woman.  You only get one wedding, and you have had yours.
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

You have no right to say who should or should not wear wedding dress, she is having a wedding, she is a bride and she gets to wear the dress, to go out of your way more than once to state your ridiculous opinion is completely unneccessary and rude.

It is very common and acceptable for BRIDES who did not have a traditional ceremony to were a wedding dress when they have their "big" wedding.

Douglass38

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invitation-wording-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:bbfbe56a-5cfa-47e8-9286-7a15321f1990Post:62fb677c-71e0-42ad-8908-ec698aea4364">Re: Invitation wording for vow renewal</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invitation wording for vow renewal : As adults they can certainly do what they want. However if they throw etiquette to the wind, they need to accept the social repercussions of those choices.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

I'm willing to bet that those that choose to have a vow renewal to their liking don't really care too much about "social repercussions." I'm sure they care a lot more about their happiness than the rest of the worlds idea of what they should or should not do, and quite frankly it really is none of your business how someone decides to throw their party! It isn't meant to benefit you. Grow up.

Tjagresto

I really just want to say.....I'm a little disheartened by a lot of the negatives on here. I'm being totally honest when I say etiquette does worry me a bit....but can't wait for our vow renewal in march! My husband and i got married in las Vegas when I was 19..him 21! We now 11 years later want to re dedicate ourselves to one another. We have been through some horrible times...and now we know what faith is, and want to share this with everyone. My plan is to wear an amazing WEDDING dress, have a beautiful ceremony, and a great reception with a first dance, and a WEDDING cake. I say you do what you feel is right: just my opinion, but nowadays folks who are renewing their vows should be given a lot of credit, because society sure makes it seem that divorce is totally acceptable....but vow renewals are not etiquette acceptable??? That's a little backwards to me.

caralys

I am a little taken by the amount of negativity...and want to say ROCK ON!!! to all of those in favor of doing what you want! ha ha ha I am having a renewal of vows ceremony in 4 months.  I am having a wedding, wearing the white gown, tux, cake...you name it, i've ordered it! We had a justice of the peace marriage, and wouldn't change that day or decision in for anything in the world.  But if you want 4 more wedding's and want to wear a different dress or HECK the same one each time...DO IT! Why the heck not!!! I say rock on to the originator of this message board...and have a blast. Post pics so we can all comment on how beautiful you look in your gown! ha ha ha

mscita2

I was just as upset about all of the negativity as other ladies/wives/brides. I, too, will have a vow renewal (May 12, 2013); however, in my husband's and my case it will be the first time we exchange vows. We originally planned a big wedding to be held in VA (Jul 2011) when we found out that he was not coming back to the east coast. He was being reassigned to Korea witha follow on assignment to Seattle WA. He is active duty Army, I am a federal employee. I had already paid the deposit for the photographer, ceremony/reception, and bought my gown. There was no way we could plan the wedding, move across country, buy a house and come together as a family in that short period of time (less than 6 months). Btw, I have a set of twin boys and he has a daughter (we were both single parents). So, I flew to Korea to get "married" in a civil ceremony, which basically meant filling out Korean forms at the Army legal office and taking them to the Korean department of vital statistics to be filed. Two people we met while in line signed the forms as our witness and our marriage license is in Korean. That costed about 40 cents but it cost almost $100 to get it translated to English so we could take it back to the military personnel office to get his records updated. Flash forward a year and a half, we can finally have our wedding, because in our childrens's eyes we aren't married. Because there is no way we could get married without them. Also, we have been through hell and back, so now we can finally stand before God and man and reaffirm our love, commitment to each other and our family. Oh, I am wearing a dress, my BFF is my only attendant (other than our children) and we are having the whole shebang. I can't wait and NO ONE is going to steal my joy.

mscita2

I did want to caveat and say, we are not registering for gifts, not having the bridal shower or bachelor/bachelorette parties. Our invitations will clearly state vow exchange/ reaffirmation of love. I will not put vow renewal on them because we have never exchanged vows! Oh, I do not consider myself a bride. I am a wife; however, I am spending just as much as a bride and I'm just as excited to be planning my dream wedding.

mrs1hilt

I am amazed by some of these women. i was married in the courthouse almost 3 years ago, and in november of this year i will be having a WEDDING i will wear a wedding dress i will have a cake i will have attendantsi will make a registry and i will have a shower and i do not care if it isnt prpoer wedding ettiquette or if it has social reprocussions, my husband is a U.S. soldier and is completing his THIRD combat tour so shame on us that we havent been able to fit a wedding into that, right. my goodness get over yourself and your proper ettiquette

jencribbs

I agree with all of you ladies about the etiquette thing...I say to heck with it! My hubby and I are planning a vow renewal as well. I am wearing a simple gown, no veil, and carrying a small bouquet...I plan to include all of my kids. We are accepting no gifts, but donations to our favorite charity. No pre wedding parties or any of that. I will have a cake and a dj...but I don't think that it is trying to be a bride again. We are renewing our vows because we want to show each other that we would do it all over again. We have had some tough years, so we ARE going to do it all over. The first time we had a beach wedding with a ridiculous minister and without our families, and I cannot wait to say my vows in the church like I always wanted.