Whose names go on the invite?

kwest714

My finace and I are paying for our wedding primarily by ourselves. My mother has offered to help but, although we are very grateful for the help, she's contributing to about 5% of the budget. I'm sure there isn't a $ amount to qualify your name being on the invite, so I would assume hers would be on there. However, my father IS NOT giving us a dime for the wedding (and yes, they are still married). There's also the little issue of my father being prejudiced towards me fiance, so I'm factoring that in as well.

Is it tacky to only put her name on there? Or should I just suck it up and put all the parents' names on it (his and mine)? Or just leave them off altogether and only have our names?

Oy, my head hurts.

tenofcups4me

I'd either leave them all off or put them all on in this situation. I would not put your mother's name on without your father's name given that they're married.

sweetredhead

I ditto cmgr. The only putting mom's name seems passive agressive and a little childish to me. That's something you may regret in the future.

Kristin789

I almost always agree with CMGr, but what's this:
The only names that should be on the invitation are the host(s) and the bride and groom. In your case, you are the hosts.

How did you get that out of her post?

First, PAYING is totally different from HOSTING.  So she's right that there isn't a "dollar amount" that gets your name on the invitation.

Second, CMGr is right that the hosts go on the invitation.

But where do you see that the bride is the host?

Traditionally - and that's what the original post is about, the bride's parents host the wedding.  So once you put the MONEY issue aside and really figure out who is going to HOST the actual event on the actual day when it occurs, you see that the bride really can't do the duties of HOSTING her own wedding - unless this is a tiny wedding of 15 guests and the bride and groom are going to be out front, greeting the guests, etc.   So the hosts will be her mother and father.  No matter the MONEY and no matter the feelings that the FOB has toward the groom.