TY Note Question

colleenmclaughlin1

So DH and I got out all our TY notes after the wedding and last week we had out after-reception up here and I'm working on those TY notes now.  I just noticed that there were some people that didn't give us gifts but came to the wedding or the after-party.  Frankly, that's fine--I wasn't expecting gifts at the after party at all and everyone's circumstances are different.  But now it occurred to me that maybe I should send a thank you note just to say thank you for attending.  I know some people use the "rule" they have a year to give a gift, so I don't want to seem pushy and have them interpret a genuine "thank you for sharing our day" note as a hidden message for "even though you didn't get us a gift."Did anyone else have this dilemma?  Would you send a note even to someone you have a really good feeling will send you a gift later (for example, my cousin gave my sister her gift 10 months later, so I wouldn't be surprised if I get something from her next year)?

brivb10

You definitely need to send a thanks for coming one, and then another one if/when you get a gift!

Er&JerLem

Yes - we did send thank you for coming notes.

d78

Yeah, I agree with PPs. If they read into it, that's their problem. ;-)

colleenmclaughlin1

Thanks ladies!And Dori--that's exactly what I needed to hear. 

KimWard

I agree with everyone else. I guess when we have our little afterparty/2nd reception (as MIL calls it), I'll have to write them again. Not looking forward to that, esp. if all 150 people she is inviting come. Ugh.

colleenmclaughlin1

Kim--150 people at the after party?  Isn't that more than your wedding guest list?Are you having one because the ILs are farther away from where you had your wedding so they didn't invite all their guests?

KimWard

Yes, sadly enough that is almost double the number of people we had at the wedding, which pisses me off. I'm thinking not that many will show, but who knows. She wants to freaking put an ad in the paper about it!! This is just craziness....I mean, it's a small town, but still. Oh, and yea, we're having one b/c even though his family is only from an hour and a half north of Pgh, they didn't invite a lot of people b/c they knew they probably couldn't come (like older people from his church for ex.) But now it sounds like she wants the whole town to come. :-(

kwynn

I have no advice for you on the TY notes because everyone who came gave a gift/card that night or in the weeks before. But it can't hurt to send a generic one now and one later if/when they get you one.Kim, wasn't your 2nd reception supposed to be a few weeks ago? Did it fall through? I thought you mentioned something on here about having it in September. Are you going to wear your dress and get your hair done and all that or just wear a party dress? And are your IL's footing the bill for all this?

KRMac

Yep, we sent a few thank you for coming cards. 

colleenmclaughlin1

Oh, I feel bad for you. I'm sorry.  I almost felt that way about our MA party because once my ILs started talking to their friends and a lot of people mentioned they'd travel (and they did) I thought they'd decided not to do it. And then 2 weeks before the wedding they were like, so when do you want have your party up here?It worked out because it was a handful of their friends who couldn't travel, a few of our friends who couldn't travel, and then a few of FIL's work colleagues.  But it was still awkward because I had nothing to say to most of these people.  And many of them didn't try to engage me in conversation either. If my friends hadn't been there, I would have been bored to tears.  Good luck--I hope it works out in a positive way for you.

KimWard

Yea, ILs are footing the bill- I have nothing to do with it except showing up, which is the bright side to this whole thing. You're right, it was suppose to be in Sept., but MIL said the people that are going to help couldn't do it then. It was kind of last min. she told me this (of course after I had requested days off of work, which I just ended up taking anyway b/c they came down to visit instead). It will most likely just be at their local fairgrounds, so I will not be wearing my dress, or probably even dress up. It's supposed to be the Wed. before Christmas I think, which sounds like a horrible time. I wish this wasn't happening so I could conserve more vacation days!

KimWard

Thanks Collleen, I didn't mean to take over your post! It's just that not many people on here seem to have afterparties....I can totally relate! I'm glad your friends were there. I most likely will not know too many people, but I think they'll be friendly and such.

colleenmclaughlin1

No problem, Kim.  I definitely feel like my awkward situation was better than the one you're being put through.  The concept is a little odd to me because it's not like we had destination weddings that only 40 people came to!See if you can get one of your girlfriend's or BP party member to come with you so you can commiserate together!  One of my BMs is from up here, so I asked her to come for support and it was great.  She enjoyed a nice lunch and meeting more of my friends from up here and I had someone else (besides DH) there for support.

KimWard

Good idea- thanks! I'm just not going to worry about it, since who knows if it will even happen or be that big (MIL has fallen back on things in the past....I love her dearly, but that's just a fact).