*Future MrsMF*

dreamalotmp

So, how did dinner with your cousin go? Any news good or not about her engagement? Ya got me curious. :P

dreamalotmp

Wow. She has changed, it seems. That happens. Even to family that you think that you know so well. Sounds like she is making her own bed and everyone should just let her lie in it until they repossess it because they don't have any $.  You can pick your friends, but not your family. This is a fact. But you (I literally mean you this time - haha) should NOT get invovled in helping her plan this wedding. She put you down too much. It made ME furious and I don't even know you aside from thinking that you have a good sense of humor. Fiances/husbands help out their fiances/wives. That is the beauty of a partnership. What the crap could she ever have meant about that? It makes no sense. Don't feel badly about your life at all. Feel bad for her and let her deal with all of this on her own unless she asks for your help. Ugh. Sorry. Too much advice?

FutureMrsMF

Thanks so much! Its nice to know that me feeling this way isnt a bad thing. I dont even want to speak to her right now! Its crazy! But she can make her own mistakes and live with what happens afterwards! And I refuse to change mine and FI relationship because theres nothing to change! It may not be perfect, but hello, what relationship is?But thanks so much for the advice, and no not to much advice! I actually like people who care to listen and give their opinion! People who are outspoken are the best in my opinion! HaHa

dreamalotmp

You're welcome then.     It is such a sad story. What is interesting is that the 'story' seems to have shifted to less about the FI than her. That is the saddest part. I wonder what happened to make her not respect herself so much and to be so envious of others that it makes her so mean. Hang in there.

FutureMrsMF

:)FI and I talked about it and hes wondering if maybe her FI isnt the one who made her so envious. I hate putting blame on others, afterall, she is a grown women, but we dont understand it! Shes a mess, hes a mess, their whole relationship is a mess! At this point I personally feel she needs to do some more dating before she marries this one! But who am I to say that? I met my soulmate at 18!

dicer2

Wow, that is crazy!  I agree with Molly, I wouldn't offer to help her with the wedding planning.  Just let her do her own thing and be there if it all falls apart and she needs you then.

LaFemmeRousse

I've been wondering about this too.  I think Molly gave really excellent advice, and also that your FI is probably right- that your cousin's FI has been planting seeds of jealousy and resentment in her mind.  You are very sweet to be as understanding as you have been- even reading about some of her comments to you made me feel upset.  Good luck with this situation going forward.

FutureMrsMF

Thx. The more I hear that the more I realize its ok for me to feel the way I do!

dreamalotmp

If you doubt yourself, come and chat with us.

Er&JerLem

Wow - ditto everything pps said.  Sorry it didn't go as you were expecting.  Unfortunately it's sound like she's in for a pretty rough road. 

king26

Wow!  That's pretty crazy!  I think I'd just leave her alone for a while and be glad that your DF is so great:-)

daveys_baby

I could almost understand the whole "I'm not going unless he's invited too" because of family being against their relationship (sort of as a way of saying you need to accept us both)...but if he doesn't "let" her go places that's a whole other story.  Controlling behavior like that could really turn into abusive behavior later on.  I can't believe that she has this insane picture of being an adult, just living off the government/employee benefits and popping out babies while others work for a living.I'm sorry that you had to have her bash you the entire night, and if I were in your shoes I'd probably have paid the check, told her I was going to the bathroom and just left her at the restaurant to find her own way home!