Having a dry reception, need to indicate on invite?

wrdgirl

Hi!  First time posting in this particular board. 

I have searched for an answer to this question but haven't found one that seem to answer it.  I am going to have a completely dry reception (no bottles of wine, or beer etc).  My ceremony and reception are at the same site so no traveling necessary but there will be a "cocktail" hour between the two.  I had originally thought of just putting "Reception to follow" after my invite wording, is it necessary to let guests know that there won't be any alcohol served?

I mean I know that what's more important is coming to our wedding and we are inviting close friends and family who know us but at the same time we have a lot of out-of-town guests so I don't know if people may be expecting this (as it seems quite typical for most weddings)?

Thanks very much in advance!

shoegal715

I wouldn't say put in on your invite, but I would tell it via word of mouth. I would want to know ahead of time.

This may sound harsh, but if a non-close friend or relative was having a dry reception, I probably wouldn't go. However, I do respect a brides right to chose, and if this is what you want to do, then DON'T listen to me. Have a wonderful wedding. 

felkels

We are having a dry recepton, and did not put it on the invite.  Anyone coming knows us well enough that they know we don't drink and won't provide it for anyone else.  However if you are having a "cocktail hour" you better have some blow me away drink that is alcohol free...that term insinuates alcohol.  There are some incredible "Mocktails" out there I think...atleast I have heard of them on here.  maybe have a signiture mock tail instead???  or choose something besides a cocktail hour. 

quotequeen

This does not belong on the invitation.  If you want to let people know you can put it on your website and spread it by word of mouth.

banana468

You don't need to include it at all - but if you say you're having a cocktail hour then you should at least have mocktails.

Just a word of caution - if you're doing this and this is totally against your social circles, be prepared for backlash.   DH and I are drinkers (well, I was prior to being pregnant) and every event from a child's birthday party to a baby shower has alcohol in our family.  It would be HIGHLY unusual to not have it.  And not having it at an event as large as a wedding would certainly put off some of our family members - so just keep it in mind as your reception is the TY to them. 

wrdgirl

I was actually thinking instead of calling it "cocktail" hour, just say refreshments and hor deurves after the ceremony followed by reception - something along that line?

FI and I are not drinkers and our close friends and families know that (we're not big party people etc).  We are having a small wedding too (80-ish ppl) so I don't think that would be a problem.  We're not inviting people we don't really know (which will probably be a concern for a dry reception).

Because a lot of our guests are out-of-town and although we kept in touch we haven't seen each other for a while so I would really like to make it a "mingling" event, catching up with old friends etc.  It's going to be a casual event really.

But anyways I was just wondering what sort of info people put on invites.  And I like that mocktail idea!  Thanks very much ladies!

fairy_diva

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_having-dry-reception-need-indicate-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:d5e90636-764f-4a7c-959f-fae0e6e2c70bPost:0cccce53-7769-4c45-a698-f6f83f6835c0">Re: Having a dry reception, need to indicate on invite?</a>:
[QUOTE]I was actually thinking instead of calling it "cocktail" hour, just say refreshments and hor deurves after the ceremony followed by reception - something along that line? FI and I are not drinkers and our close friends and families know that (we're not big party people etc).  We are having a small wedding too (80-ish ppl) so I don't think that would be a problem.  We're not inviting people we don't really know (which will probably be a concern for a dry reception). Because a lot of our guests are out-of-town and although we kept in touch we haven't seen each other for a while so I would really like to make it a "mingling" event, catching up with old friends etc.  It's going to be a casual event really. But anyways I was just wondering what sort of info people put on invites.  And I like that mocktail idea!  Thanks very much ladies!
Posted by wrdgirl[/QUOTE]


We're having a dry recepion too.  My social circle both drinks and doesn't drink, and my close fmaily & friends respect our choice not to have alcohol at our reception. This is always a touchy subject here, but honestly if people can't go an evening without alcohol, then maybe there is a problem.  (Sure to get lots of backlash for that statement)  I have family who are recovering alcoholics, older grandparents, aunts and uncles as well as being child friendly, none of these people would stay for my reception if we had alcohol.  We also have some on FI's side that can't be trusted to behave themselves with the alcohol flowing. Plus to make it even easier we choose a park that doesn't allow alcohol on the premises. Enjoy your reception!

lrowe70

Agree with the above-word of mouth is best.
Personally I would not attend a dry wedding unless it was a VERY good friend or close family member. And regardless or the person, I would not travel very far to attend a dry wedding. By no means am I a big drinker or a partier, but there are a limited number of events that I do expect to find alcohol(weddings, New Years, some birthdays, that's about it)

squirrly

If your cocktail hour, whether it includes alcohol or not, is immediately after the ceremony at the same location as the rest of the reception, it's really just the first hour of the reception and doesn't need to be mentioned on the invite.  You also shouldn't mention whether alcohol is or isn't included.  You can share that via word of mouth.

However, like Banana said, if your crowd generally expects alcohol, you might have some unhappy guests.  Is there a particular reason you're not having alcohol? 

wrdgirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_having-dry-reception-need-indicate-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:d5e90636-764f-4a7c-959f-fae0e6e2c70bPost:0bf80a96-85b3-4687-95c6-ef426544b602">Re: Having a dry reception, need to indicate on invite?</a>:
[QUOTE]  Is there a particular reason you're not having alcohol? 
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]

The reasons are cost issues (it saves us a lot of money) and because it's going to be in the day time (11:30a to 5p).  If it was held in the evening we'd probably have it.

FI and I don't believe that having alcohol is necessary to have fun.  We really want to spend time with people and it's kinda hard to do that when ppl are a bit tipsy lol

banana468

Just remember, the reception is the TY to your guests.  So it's not what you and your FI want to do to have fun.  It's about your guests. (obviously within reason).

Also, most people who go to an afternoon wedding aren't getting intoxicated.  They're maybe having a drink with a meal and one or two for the dancing.  Please don't equate drinking in general with being tipsy.  Plenty of people have a glass but don't get silly.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Ditto everything Squirrly said. But again, is this common in your circle? Have you ever been to a dry wedding?

marinabreeze

I agree with PPs in terms of the ettiquete of not putting it on the invites.  Keep in mind, though, that since the reception is a "thank you" to your guests, you want to make your guests comfortable (within reason).  If money is the issue, why not just do beer and wine?  And if it's earlier in the day, people are less likely to get trashed anyway.

I don't know why there is so much concern about a dry wedding btw.  Dry wedding doesn't necessarily equal lame, but pulling it off well really depends on your crowd, and what you have to entertain your guests.  The most enjoyable wedding I ever attended was a dry wedding held by a couple of my old college friends out of state.  The bride was under 21 and the couple and family were pretty conservative Christians, and most of the guests were not big drinkers.   It was a beautiful yet informal wedding at the bride's parents rural home, with a pig roast and really good food.  There was also great entertainment, like quizzes about the bride and groom, square dancing, etc.  It also helped that it wasn't a big guest list, and most of the people in attendance knew each other (the bride and groom were in the same social circle and knew most of the same poeple, so there weren't really issues with mingling). 

I didn't know it was dry beforehand, but I didn't think it was a big deal, and I had a really awesome time.  Whether or not a reception has alcohol is not a deciding factor in my attendance of weddings, even if it involves a great deal of travel time (the above-mentioned wedding was about six or seven hours away), although I know other people think differently.  I think cash bars are much, much worse, especially if you don't know the couple is having a cash bar...I attended a wedding/reception like that once and left early...thank God it was local.

So I would suggest that in lieu of alcohol, you have a plan to really entertain your guests.  Not every person who drinks does so to get tipsy or drunk, but alcohol does help to loosen people up and make them comfortable, especially at an affair where guests who may not necessarily know each other are in attendance.  So hopefully you can find some other ways to make the reception relaxing and fun for your guests without the booze, or alternately incorporate at least beer/wine options.

wrdgirl

Hi everyone!  Thanks for your comments.

I didn't mean to equate drinking with being intoxicated, I know drinking is generally part of socializing.  I was just thinking of a few friends that we are inviting that may be intoxicated at any time of day lol  But it has save us money TREMENDOUSLY with the alcohol completely removed (-25% per person). 

I did went to a dry reception and it was my FI's sister's wedding, she had about 120 guests and it was in the evening.  People had fun!  There were a mix of people that she had to invite but didn't know well personally because family requested so they left early but those that stayed longer were her close friends. 

Some of my close friends are getting married around the same time as me so I won't know if they are dry (but I doubt they will be knowing them).  And like I said these are close friends we are inviting so the level of understanding is probably more than say if it was my father's co-worker.

Another wedding I went to that wasn't dry a lot of people left early too because I guess they weren't into the whole dancing thing but this wedding had a larger guest count.

I still don't think it is a big deal having it dry because it is typical that people serve alcohol in weddings so I understand why it may appear to be a problem to some.  And I honestly don't think whether or not alcohol is served is going to determine how good of a time our guests will have.  And like I keep saying, if we were to invite an entire neighborhood of people I don't know very well I'd probably think twice about dong a dry reception.  And if guests find out no alcohol is served and don't want to come well then, don't come lol

Anyways, the point of this post was to ask whether or not I should put this on the invite, but now I know it shouldn't be.  And thanks for the advice regarding having a dry reception.  We will have to get creative regarding other entertainment (and alcohol isn't the only thing!). 

Lisa50

Don't put it on the invitation.