should we include directions/map?

catwine

we are having a small reception (70 people are invited) and most of them are somewhat familiar with the area our wedding is in.  The ceremony and reception locations are about 45 mins apart (which i didn't realize until i mapquest-ed it) and the directions are pretty simple.  most people have GPS in the cars so should i even bother with the maps and directions? 

ElisabethJoanne

I don't have GPS, but I do have access to computers, printers, and wood-pulp maps. If mapquest, etc., give accurate directions, I don't think you need to provide directions.

Though I'm sure mapquest is accurate for our ceremony-to-reception trip, we will hand out reception directions at the ceremony. I prefer this for a few reasons:
1) Less likely to get lost
2) Can be a full printed sheet, instead of tucked in an envelope
3) Can be printed last minute in case of construction or special events
4) I feel including separate directions to the reception, and especially directions and a time, makes it too easy to skip the ceremony. This is a pickadillo of mine, people skipping ceremonies.

Be aware: A) 45 minutes between the ceremony and reception is considered too far on theknot. [We were absolutely stuck with our church, resulting in limited reception spaces, so I don't judge you, but I'm trying to warn you nicely of a backlash.] You should invite everyone to both the ceremony and reception. The old rule that you could invite people just to the ceremony is gone. And thus we add:

5) It's super-clear everyone's invited to the reception when everyone's handed directions at the ceremony.

Summer2011Bride

We put directions in ours because sometimes a GPS doesn't take guests the most logical/easiest way and someone local (like you) would know any changes they should make and what the best route is. Having said that, it's optional.

Just a word of advice: I would probably delete the actual directions from your OP now that you have some answers. You've given people your wedding date (in your ticker) and the exact location of it now. You just never know, KWIM? I'd rather be safe than sorry.

catwine

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_should-we-include-directionsmap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:de231bb7-43cb-44d5-ae4d-561338f4ab60Post:d50ca306-abeb-4956-9cc3-6c899725ebc8">Re: should we include directions/map?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong> Be aware: A) 45 minutes between the ceremony and reception is considered too far on theknot.</strong> [We were absolutely stuck with our church, resulting in limited reception spaces, so I don't judge you, but I'm trying to warn you nicely of a backlash.] <strong>B) You should invite everyone to both the ceremony and reception. The old rule that you could invite people just to the ceremony is gone. And thus we add: 5) It's super-clear everyone's invited to the reception when everyone's handed directions at the ceremony.
</strong>Posted by ElisabethJoanne[/QUOTE]

I'm not sure why 45 mins is considered "too long" but it's completely normal, accepted and expected where I'm from (I've been called out on that before, though.  so thanks for not judging!).  It's also 100% acceptable to invite people to just the ceremony in my circle and where I'm from. 

I don't want to have directions ready at the ceremony because not everyone there gets an invite.

libby2483

In Response to Re:should we include directions/map?:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: should we include directions/map?: Be aware: A 45 minutes between the ceremony and reception is considered too far on theknot. [We were absolutely stuck with our church, resulting in limited reception spaces, so I don't judge you, but I'm trying to warn you nicely of a backlash.] B You should invite everyone to both the ceremony and reception. The old rule that you could invite people just to the ceremony is gone. And thus we add: 5 It's superclear everyone's invited to the reception when everyone's handed directions at the ceremony.Posted by ElisabethJoanneI'm not sure why 45 mins is considered "too long" but it's completely normal, accepted and expectednbsp;where I'm from I've been called out on that before, though.nbsp; so thanks for not judging!.nbsp; It's also 100 acceptable to invite people to just the ceremony in my circle and where I'm from.nbsp; I don't want to have directions ready at the ceremony because not everyone there gets an invite. Posted by christinavy[/QUOTE]

Why would some of the people at your ceremony not be invited to the reception? Unless it is in a church where an announcement is printed in the bulletin and anyone from the church is welcome to attend the ceremony, it is VERY rude not to invite people to both.

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_should-we-include-directionsmap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:de231bb7-43cb-44d5-ae4d-561338f4ab60Post:fe09b183-e79f-4a0f-b6c9-e1b3ac9c5878">Re: should we include directions/map?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: should we include directions/map? : I'm not sure why 45 mins is considered "too long" but it's completely normal, accepted and expected where I'm from (I've been called out on that before, though.  so thanks for not judging!). <strong> It's also 100% acceptable to invite people to just the ceremony in my circle and where I'm from.</strong> <strong> I don't want to have directions ready at the ceremony because not everyone there gets an invite.</strong>
Posted by christinavy[/QUOTE]

This is incredibly rude and poor etiquette. Just because others around you have done this does not mean you need to follow suit. Everyone in our circle does dollar dances, for example, but I find them so tacky that H and I did not do one even if it was against "tradition" for our group.

Please re-think this. Just because people have gone along with it doesn't mean they aren't hardcore side-eyeing it and feeling hurt; they just don't want to tell you to your face. The reception is a thank you to your guests for attending your wedding, meaning everyone who attends your wedding needs to get a reception invite.

catwine

we know a lot of people, but are not close to them all.  the ceremony is the most important part of our wedding, which is why we are extending an open invite to anyone who wants to come (former classmates, co-workers, friends of parents, etc.).  we want a very small reception with just our family and close friends. 
this isn't just a "tradition" it's what we want to do.  if we only invited the 70 people for our ceremony and reception, there would be a lot of people who would be more hurt that they can't come to the reception.

we aren't even formally inviting guests to the ceremony, we are telling them where the church is in person, through text, or social media. 

i didn't really want to be told I'm being rude, i just wanted opinions on the maps.

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_should-we-include-directionsmap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:de231bb7-43cb-44d5-ae4d-561338f4ab60Post:537aacf3-3f3c-44da-988c-5d5f0cb23301">Re: should we include directions/map?</a>:
[QUOTE]we know a lot of people, but are not close to them all.  the ceremony is the most important part of our wedding, which is why we are extending an open invite to anyone who wants to come (former classmates, co-workers, friends of parents, etc.).  we want a very small reception with just our family and close friends.  this isn't just a "tradition"<strong> it's what we want to do.</strong>  if we only invited the 70 people for our ceremony and reception, there would be a lot of people who would be more hurt that they can't come to the reception. we aren't even formally inviting guests to the ceremony, we are telling them where the church is in person, through text, or social media.<strong>  i didn't really want to be told I'm being rude, i just wanted opinions on the maps.</strong>
Posted by christinavy[/QUOTE]

1. It stops being just "what you want to do" though when you invite other people. Once you invite guests and become hosts, you need to consider your guests' feelings and what is proper etiquette and what is polite. I also don't get this attitude that "People will just be happy to come to our wedding at all." No, YOU are the ones who should feel honored that people want to celebrate with you. It's not an honor to be told, "We don't want to pay to feed you and give you drinks at our reception, but you can come to the part that doesn't cost us any money."

2. What you put out there on a public Internet forum is fair game. FWIW, I did give you input on the directions as well. But if you didn't want advice on how you're doing the ceremony/reception, you shouldn't have posted those details on an international message board.

aragx6

I can't believe you'd find that acceptable. The reception is the thank you for attending the ceremony -- what you're doing is beyond rude.

libby2483

So what happens at the ceremony when Sally says to Jane, the church is beautiful. I can't wait to see the reception, but Jane wasn't invited to the reception? I seriously doubt that Jane's reaction will be, I wasn't invited to the reception, but I'm just so happy to be included in the ceremony. If you aren't close with people, they don't need to be invited to your ceremony, and they especially don't need to be invited via social media.