How can I get by without inviting everyone...

ChelsJohns

My FI has a lot of people in his family and our plan was only to have 150 guests at our wedding because of the budget and the size of the venue. Now it's turning into a circus when it comes to the invites, (He thinks we will be hurting people feelings if we don’t invite everyone) and now the list I have is at 280 people!!!!!!!! The invites go out next week with the wedding only 2 months away. How can I get the guest list down to a reasonable number?

quotequeen

You need to get on the same page as your FI.  Did he agree with your original plan to only invite 150 and now is trying to double it?  Or did you not really talk about it to begin with?

Try doing circles - immediate family, aunts/uncles, really close friends, first cousins, good friends, second cousins, co-workers, etc.  You invite as many full circles as you can until you get to your limit.

hz80408

Have you sent out STDs to everyone?

vhansen22

Good topic, I am in the same exact situation as of tonight and would love to see how other people cut down their list without hurting feelings.

squirrly

This isn't a guest list problem - it's an FI problem. 

You need to go through the numbers with him.  Then, divide up the max number of guests.  Do your parents get to invite anybody?  Let's say you give each set of parents 20 guests.  That leaves 55 for you and 55 for your FI.  He needs to come up with a list of 55 names.  From 56 down on his list, they should be ranked in order.  If you only pick out 40 guests, he gets 15 more.  How he pics his 55 is up to him, and how you pick your 55 is up to you.

Kristin789

First of all, your bio says your wedding is August 20.
So your invitations don't go out until July 9, not next week.
See traditional invitation timeline below.

Take a deep breath, and work with your FI on this.
Here's what we did:
We did the whole guest list of who would want to come.
Then we put that list aside,
and made another list of who WE wanted to come.
Ah, much smaller list - and that's the list we went with...

Q.How far in advance should you send invitations? What is the proper date to ask for the reply card?
A. Invitations should go out six weeks before the wedding -- that gives guests plenty of time to clear their schedules for the day and make travel arrangements if they are out-of-towners. It also lets you make the RSVP date a little earlier -- say three weeks before the wedding date -- so you can get a final head count and start making a seating chart (if you'll have one) before the final-week-before-the-wedding crunch begins.

Lisa50

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_can-inviting-everyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:e11cedb4-6bc3-4d6c-b1c5-654dc302ab60Post:45a01b7f-c11f-4623-a1e1-4e9b1dab7e93">Re: How can I get by without inviting everyone...</a>:
[QUOTE]Have you sent out STDs to everyone?
Posted by hz80408[/QUOTE]

Good point!  If you have sent "Save the Date" mailings, then you're obligated to invite everyone on that list to the wedding.  If not, whew!!  It's time to cut the list OR ask your fiance to find $$ to finance the larger reception -- bigger venue (ka-ching!), more food and liquor (ka-ching!), additional centerpieces (ka-ching!), more invitations (ka-ching!), etc.  Put some numbers with each of those direct costs ("ka-ching" is my lame cash register sound effect, LOL!) and it might lead to a better understanding between the two of you.

Good luck!

ChelsJohns

WOW girls thanks! All of this has been a big help! We haven’t sent out any save the dates because our engagement was so short. I love the circle idea, I’m planning on sitting down with Tan tonight so hopefully all goes well and we both don't have a mental breakdown.  LOL