Invite Etiquette

dreams32

How should I address the outside and inside envelopes for my soon to be brother in law and his girlfriend? They have been living together for about a year and she has two children, who are also invited. Is "Mr. and Ms. xxx" and family appropriate?

Thanks in advance!!

dibsontop

Outside Envelope                                           

Mr. John Doe                                                  
Ms. Jane Smith                                                
Address                                                         
C,S,Z



Inside Envelope

Mr. Doe
Ms. Smith
Bobby and Suzy

Also, names should be written in alphabetical order by last name on both outer/inner envelopes

HisCB

for outer envelopes, i would do:

Mr John Smith and Ms Jane Doe
123 Street AVE NE
Townville, ST 11201

i wouldnt put the gfs name on 2nd line unelss their names are really long.

i would do first names only on the inner envelope,

John, Jane, Bobby and Suzie

i always address whoever is closer to me first,  then their s/o , then kids in birth order even my brother and his Fi who have 6 kids!  not aphabetically

banana468

Alphabetical order?  I guess you can go that way but old-school etiquette holds that the lady's name goes first.

Also HisCB, the way you're addresssing the inner envelope is quite informal. If you're having a formal reception and you're addressing the envelopes that way you're sending a really mixed message.  The way you address the invitation has to do with the formality of the event - not your relationship with the guests.

dibsontop

I had never heard of the alphabetical thing before until I started searching guides online.  Even TheKnot Q&A says the same.

http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-questions/wedding-invitation-questions/qa/wedding-invitations-to-an-unmarried-couple.aspx

However, they say to put both names on the same line on the inner envelope, which I did not know.

Really, I don't think people will know the difference though.

banana468

Interesting that TK says that.  That appears to be rather progressive which is fine.  I followed Crane's which is more old school.

http://www.crane.com/etiquette.aspx?C=WeddingEtiquette&S=Addressing_Envelopes&I=Unmarried_Couples_Living_Together

squirrly

I prefer the "ladies first" method as well.  Alphabetical seems so arbitrary.

banana468

HisCB, it isn't a nameless model.  If you had a formal wedding and the first impression you gave your guests is one of a more whimsical invitation with informal writing, they would be given the idea that informal dress was appropriate.

Guests are to interpret the formality of your wedding based on the invitation - the timing on it, where it is, and formality of the wording both on the invitation and on the enveope.  The way you then address has to do with the formality of the event - not the formality of your relationship with your guests.

HisCB

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invite-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:ed40bf7a-af15-47c1-a03e-ac3ef0dc259cPost:62352403-461a-40eb-8191-611c8d7f9be4">Re: Invite Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]HisCB, it isn't a nameless model.  If you had a formal wedding and the first impression you gave your guests is one of a more whimsical invitation with informal writing, they would be given the idea that informal dress was appropriate. Guests are to interpret the formality of your wedding based on the invitation - the timing on it, where it is, and formality of the wording both on the invitation and on the enveope.  The way you then address has to do with the formality of the event - not the formality of your relationship with your guests.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

if you say so. but for my wedding, thats not the case. its a good thing my wedding is a reflection of us, and not super formal. my family and friends will dress the same regardless of the invitation, casual to semiformal.

HisCB

We will be addressing them together, he can decide how to address the ones to his family and friends, im sure he will want to do 1st names on the inner envelope.