Vent.

reannalynne

RSVPs are driving me crazy. I knew to expect not everyone to send them back, and they still have until the 7th, but still.  Its not even that i didn't get them all back yet that its bothering me, its the fact that FI and my friends think its ok to just verbally tell me and not mail it back. come on! The stamp is there for a reason!!!  It appears that we will be calling a lot of the people that FI's parents invited, unless they all roll in this week. Then the one friend of mine that DID rsvp, i invited her and her husband. she RSVPd for the two of them, PLUS her daughter and BROTHER IN LAW!!!!  I said OK for the daughter, i know she has issues finding babysitters and his family is worthless and her mother is schizophrenic, but come on, the brother in law?? I know him but dont really like him, and hes an adult he would get his own invite!! She of all people should know the etiquette because she just got married and read a bunch of books about etiquette on invitations. UGH. sorry, just needed to vent.

missizz

Yes, RSVPs suck.  You sent your invites out late and asked for a pretty quick turnaround time, expect to get RSVPs back late.  Accept the verbal RSVPs and move on, especially from friends your age and if you don't have a meal choice.  People may have to try to move things around, many peoples' weekends book up quickly around the holidays. As far as your friend's brother in law being RSVP-ed for, I would tell them that sorry, he wasn't invited. 

reannalynne

Yeah, I promptly called and said that.i sent the invites out at the 6 week mark exactly, and asked for 3 weeks RSVP time, which is what i kept reading was normal after i was freaking out about it. I also sent out STDs in June/july, so people were at least aware.  There is no meal choice, but I am just afraid that people will say "yeah im coming" then bring a date without mentioning one or RSVPing for one. I don't want to have to tell people to leave but im afraid that will happen because of not enough seats.

dicer2

That sucks.  We had around 80 people who never RSVP'd.

KRMac

Sucky!  GL tracking them down!

missizz

IMO, 8 weeks is appropriate, especially around the holidays.You won't be the one to tell them that there's no room for them, an employee of your reception location would most likely be that person.  You need to not worry about it.  When it comes to your wedding day, there very well may be guest dramas happening that you're not aware of.  The beauty of it is that you're NOT aware of it!

reannalynne

almost everyone my parents invited RSVPd, just waiting on a couple out of town relatives still. its just a lot of FIs family's friends and our friends.

reannalynne

As long as I dont have to tell them I'll be ok then.

marburs

your friend's brother in law? do you even know this guy? wow- I would call and give her the whole 'we're limited on space' spiel.  that's def rude of her to write him on there

KimWard

It is frustrating, but I wouldn't worry too much about extra people coming and not having enough seats for them. Like missiz said, you won't have to deal with it. Plus there may be people who RSVP yes, then don't even show. I had 10 no-shows who had RSVPed yes, and 2 who showed up that weren't invited. It will balance itself out. Just try to accept that RSVPs are always a PITA, and focus more on looking forward to your wedding.

brivb10

Boo to write ins, I am dreading those calls myself.  If it is from DF's side, he has agreed to call.  GL on these, and her's some vibes you don't have 80 (eek!) outstanding RSVPS. 

reannalynne

I know the BIL, but not very well, and don't really care for him. part of that might be because I am biased at the fact that he does not bathe (seriously, no lie) and stinks to high heaven, but he also is just really irritating. I really don't know him well though, just the kind of person that if i see them in the grocery store i will wave or whatever.

brivb10

*here's - typing fail!

reannalynne

so far i stil have 45 invites that need to come back, so thats about 90 people give or take a few. FI's mom is calling the ones from that side, because a lot are family friends that FI hasnt even seen for years/ doesnt remember.

king26

I'm sorry this happened to you. I too fear the "write-ins".  I have a feeling many of my cousins are going to be upset we aren't inviting their kids, but we aren't inviting any kids.  I already told my mom that she'll have to be the one to call and tell people they can't come if they are written in.  I think it's rude when people assume you just have extra room and would want others to come.