My mom and I are having an argument over what determines the formality of a wedding, and hence the formality level that the invitations need to have. I'm arguing that the majority of the formality level is determined by the reception. She's saying that it's about the ceremony. I'll admit I may be wrong, but I need help to understand this.
A little about the wedding:
It's in the afternoon (2pm). It's going to be a Catholic wedding, but not a full Mass. It's in an almost-200 year old Cathedral complete with all the marble/gilding/huge pipe organ/giant ceilings. I'm wearing this dress:
http://www.casablancabridal.com/collections/view/30/439But it's going to have lace over the top of it and have an off-the-shoulder neckline.
The reception will immediately follow the ceremony and last until about 7pm. It's going to be a buffet style cocktail reception. Plenty of food, but it will all be heavy hors d'oeuvres , crudite, and dips. There will be music (a trio) and possibly dancing, but we're not hiring a dance floor. It will be indoor/outdoor and an antebellum home (not mansion, it looks like a regular house). We're going to try to put tables out on the lawn under the trees (if it rains there is a covered porch and room inside). My aunts are catering (they strongly offered and they've done this before). We're also doing all of the reception decor ourselves.
My mom thinks that because I'm wearing a long lace gown and getting married in the Cathedral, that I need really formal invitations and the bridesmaids must wear long dresses.
I think that because the reception is more casual that we can have a more fun and informal invitation (nothing too trendy). I also think that cocktail/tea length dresses will be fine for the BMs.
So, who's right? Or, are both of us a little right? I'd love some advice.