pushy in-laws...

ckozlowski91

I really want to get my invitations done professionally, but my fiances parents are pushing to do it on the computer and have my fiances brother do it. I dont want to be rude, but I dont want that. I want them to look nice, and he can put some things together well, just not what im looking for. But when i brought up that i wanted to go to even office max to get them done, which will cost $100, which is a pretty good deal i think, they went off on me! I was pretty hurt, but i kept quiet, i dont want to be on their bad side before i even become the daughter-in-law. I dont know what to do! I feel as though, this is going to be the only wedding i am ever going to have, shouldnt i be the one who gets to decide these things without always getting the third degree?

ckozlowski91

Well we were going to pay if we went through office max, but they told us that we cannot. I understand having a voice, but flat out saying no? Of course ill keep including them regardless, but it makes me not want to. Not to hurt their feelings, but just so that our wedding can be the way WE want it. 

willywally5

They told you that you cannot???? 

Who's paying for what? We kind of need more info to advise appropriately ...

ETA: Also, how many do you need? And will he be able to do RSVP cards as well as any other enclosures that you will need? Sometimes by the time you buy all the ink, it's more economical to get them printed. 

ckozlowski91

Well, we had set who would pay for what, my parents would pay for the hall, and a few small things and pitch in a little for decorations. The in-laws are paying for the food, which they are getting away pretty good because my 3 aunts and some of their close friends are caterers, so the in-laws are only paying the price of the food (which is fine, i dont care about the money, i only care about the event  ) and i think that was about it. Me and the fiance are paying for the things we want, not the nessecitys, like the dj, transportation, my dress, and invitations. And thats all fine by me, like i said, the money isnt an issue, i just want things to go as perfect as they can for us, but if we say were ok with spending the money, shouldnt they just go with it? or if they object, at least just say something like, well heres another way you can do it and save a little bit of money. But instead the MIL said, "Absolutely not. There's no way that your going to spend that on invitations. Your brother can just go on microsoft and do it and print it off."  I was a little put off on how much she is trying to control the wedding. I could see her try to control the food because shes paying for it, but to control something shes not paying for?...

ckozlowski91

And as for the ink and stuff i agree. ink isnt that cheap. and with buying all the cardstock (because i dont want flimsy computer paper), i think itll be cheaper this way. and get done quicker cuz its not something we have to search for. We already found one we like thru office max, but itll take time to find something elsewhere, and especially when they live an hour and a half away. I dont know if they quite understand that this wedding is creeping up on us and the invites have to get sent out reallyyyy soon!

willywally5

If she's not paying, she's not saying ...

Also has your brother even offered to do this?

Get the invites you want. Further, especially if you look for good deals, you can get them very inexpensively on sites like Vistaprint.com or zazzle.com.  

Vistaprint does Groupons all the time where you can get gobs of stuff for next to nothing and zazzle frequently does half off. 

How many invites do you need? Because I'm very serious that buying enough ink to do a ton of invites can get very spendy. Cartridges for my printer run about $25 apiece and if you are doing color, costs can add up very quickly.

willywally5

Your invites should go out 6 to 8 weeks before which would put you at sending them out sometime between July 28 and  August 11. So you have a little time to decide. 

But really, don't discuss things she isn't paying for with your FMIL. I am betting she wil want input on EVERYTHING if you do. 

OliveOilsMom

I 2nd Vistaprint. I had my invites done through them and they came out beautifully.  I did have a friend design mine and uploaded them onto VP for printing.  But the invites they have on their website already are great.  Different styles and colors.  You can upgrade paper selections and everything. 

If you can get a Groupon (usually $17 for $70 worth of products) you will get 30% off all products.  And sign up for the VP emails, they have sales ALL THE TIME!  If you need a Groupon, check out the DIY board.  The girls list the vouchers there all the time.

And your ILs are out of line.  I hope that you FI stood up for you when they yelled at you.  They get a say in what they pay for.  And since you want to pay for the invites, then you get that say.

mcskatcat

If you're paying for them, tell them "thanks for the suggestion, but I'd really like to go through Office Max."  Seriously, they are out of line.  I would just not bring it up again and go ahead and get them printed.  Has your Fi told them no?  He needs to be setting his foot down on this.

AurorasEnvy

If you are paying for the invitations, then do them how you want.  If my in-laws tried to tell me "no" with anything, I'd laugh.  Because it's not their choice and they can't dictate what I'm going to do.  You are going to be the one ordering them, addressing them, and sending them I assume?  I wouldn't bring it up to them again, just do it on your own, and they'll get the hint when they receive theirs in the mail.

Your in-laws sound pushy, so I'd avoid talking about the wedding around them as much as possible.