November 2013 Weddings

Planning from far away!!!!!

Hey, 
My name si Brittany, and I got engaged to my FI over the summer. 
I have recently started the minor planning of my wedding, but my FI and I have decided to have the wedding back home, which is about 10 hrs from where I am now. Sounds perfect, right?! WRONG!!! 
My family is so happy for my FI and I, and they are so happy that we decided to get married in my hometown, but because of finances they aren't able to help pay for the wedding! So, we are on own when it comes to mney for everything. The bad part is, because we are saving for the wedding we aren't able to just make a trip home so we can look at locatios and make those kinda of decisions, so we are having to relay on my parents to look at the churches and chapels there, and just see the pictures that they send. 
Not only do we have to deal with the distance effecting the locations and small details, I feel like I am missing out on planning my wedding with my mom, like I always thought I would be doing. And I feel like my mom is missing out as well on planning a wedding because the last wedding she planned was her own! ( I have 3 older sisters and none of the had a wedding)! I feel like this distance is KILLING my spirit. I really am dreading tying to plan this weddin, because I dont want my mo to feel left out! 
Any advice?!?!?

Re: Planning from far away!!!!!

  • In Response to Planning from far away!!!!!:
    Hey,  My name si Brittany, and I got engaged to my FI over the summer.  I have recently started the minor planning of my wedding, but my FI and I have decided to have the wedding back home, which is about 10 hrs from where I am now. Sounds perfect, right?! WRONG!!!  My family is so happy for my FI and I, and they are so happy that we decided to get married in my hometown, but because of finances they aren't able to help pay for the wedding! So, we are on own when it comes to mney for everything. The bad part is, because we are saving for the wedding we aren't able to just make a trip home so we can look at locatios and make those kinda of decisions, so we are having to relay on my parents to look at the churches and chapels there, and just see the pictures that they send.  Not only do we have to deal with the distance effecting the locations and small details, I feel like I am missing out on planning my wedding with my mom, like I always thought I would be doing. And I feel like my mom is missing out as well on planning a wedding because the last wedding she planned was her own! ( I have 3 older sisters and none of the had a wedding)! I feel like this distance is KILLING my spirit. I really am dreading tying to plan this weddin, because I dont want my mo to feel left out!  Any advice?!?!?
    Posted by theeburrells

    Hey Brittany! I'm sorry that you're having a hard time in your wedding planning! My main advice is this: Wedding planning is really stressful. Then it gets fun again. Then it might cycle back to stressful. Repeat. Even if you're having a rough time with it now, that doesn't mean the whole thing will be hard, and there are things you might enjoy doing more!! :) I also found that the first steps were the most difficult-- and then once we started making decisions, everything became easier.

    We're in the same boat as far as planning from afar, although we are currently living with my parents, we're moving in the next two weeks so we will also be planning from out of state (impossible to drive haha, as we will not have cars!).

    I bet you and your mom can still connect over the wedding plans. Have you tried maybe Skyping and talking about things instead of just over the phone? That might make it feel more personal. 

    We had my parents check out some venues before we moved down here. I'm glad I got to be here when we picked things, but ultimately I'm not sure when I'll be back before the wedding, so really... the main thing I've been told is to plan as much as you can if you DO get a trip back. So if you're in town for a weekend, make appointments in advance, know what you want to get done while you're there, etc. Also, I'm not sure what your budget is, but some coordinators and planners can be surprisingly affordable, depending on your area. (Totally varies, though.) And many places have extensive pictures on their websites, sites like The Knot and Wedding Wire often have tons of reviews and pictures... And I found it helpful to browse local wedding photographers' blogs for pictures at certain venues I really liked, just to see what a *real* wedding there looked like!!

    Will you be able to go home for the holidays? You and your mom could get a lot done even in just a week, you know?

    Above all just remember that it's totally normal to dread some parts of the wedding planning process. It isn't all cake tastings!! (But wouldn't that be awesome.....)

    I guess we haven't really started planning from a distance so I don't have any advice from experience yet. You definitely aren't alone in planning it from afar though. 

    Also just to add-- that's harder that you and FI are going to have to pay for everything yourselves, but don't expect a ton of sympathy on that account here on the Knot boards. Many brides here have paid/are paying for everything themselves too! It is definitely doable, you guys have plenty of time, and TK has a pretty useful budgeting tool. :) 

    Good luck and looking forward to hearing more from you!

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    pinterest, obvi.

  • In Response to Re: Planning from far away!!!!!:
    In Response to Planning from far away!!!!! : Hey Brittany! I'm sorry that you're having a hard time in your wedding planning! My main advice is this: Wedding planning is really stressful. Then it gets fun again. Then it might cycle back to stressful. Repeat. Even if you're having a rough time with it now, that doesn't mean the whole thing will be hard, and there are things you might enjoy doing more!! :) I also found that the first steps were the most difficult-- and then once we started making decisions, everything became easier. We're in the same boat as far as planning from afar, although we are currently living with my parents, we're moving in the next two weeks so we will also be planning from out of state (impossible to drive haha, as we will not have cars!). I bet you and your mom can still connect over the wedding plans. Have you tried maybe Skyping and talking about things instead of just over the phone? That might make it feel more personal.  We had my parents check out some venues before we moved down here. I'm glad I got to be here when we picked things, but ultimately I'm not sure when I'll be back before the wedding, so really... the main thing I've been told is to plan as much as you can if you DO get a trip back. So if you're in town for a weekend, make appointments in advance, know what you want to get done while you're there, etc. Also, I'm not sure what your budget is, but some coordinators and planners can be surprisingly affordable, depending on your area. (Totally varies, though.) And many places have extensive pictures on their websites, sites like The Knot and Wedding Wire often have tons of reviews and pictures... And I found it helpful to browse local wedding photographers' blogs for pictures at certain venues I really liked, just to see what a *real* wedding there looked like!! Will you be able to go home for the holidays? You and your mom could get a lot done even in just a week, you know? Above all just remember that it's totally normal to dread some parts of the wedding planning process. It isn't all cake tastings!! (But wouldn't that be awesome.....) I guess we haven't really started planning from a distance so I don't have any advice from experience yet. You definitely aren't alone in planning it from afar though.  Also just to add-- that's harder that you and FI are going to have to pay for everything yourselves, but don't expect a ton of sympathy on that account here on the Knot boards. Many brides here have paid/are paying for everything themselves too! It is definitely doable, you guys have plenty of time, and TK has a pretty useful budgeting tool. :)  Good luck and looking forward to hearing more from you!
    Posted by sarahdactyI

    Thank you for all the comments! :) 
    There are some parts that I am totally looking forward to some parts of the planning process, but others not so much! 
    Skype would make things with my mom a lot easier! But....the house my parents are living in does not have internet right now (weird, right?) so that is out of the question right now :( 
    Paying for the wedding ourselves isnt the problem, I expected to have to pay for it. The issue is not having the money to be able to ake it home any time soon to make the plans that need to be made. 
    I will be able to go home for a few days during thanksgiving this year, and I'll be doing a lot of planning during that time. 
    I know the pains of not having a car! my FI and I are sharing a car right now, because my car got totaled back home. I know how stressful it can be having to relay on others to get around! 

  • I really wish there were a board for long-distance brides!!

    It's really doable to get things done online though. I've found that most photographers, for example, will Skype interview with you, so that's something you could get done from out of town. Really tasting of the menu would be the only thing that MUST be done in person if you want to get to do it, you know? 

    BUT I encourage you to hang out here, as it gets closer more people will post and we can all support one another! :)

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    pinterest, obvi.

  • I'm planning my wedding 600 miles away from the location.  Sarah is right- other than tasting the food, we pretty much knew from photos on our venue's website that it was the right place for us.

    You still have over a year- if you are home for Thanksgiving, do as much as you can then.  We are planning on doing things at Thanksgiving ourselves, and then we likely wont be back home until 6 months out when we do our tasting.

    You arent alone, and honestly, since you have so much time, there's no need to work yourself up.  Just take it one step at a time.

    image 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker

     

     

     

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards