November 2013 Weddings

Do you ever go to other forums....

Do you ever go to other groups/forums on here and get ready to post when you see some of the most rude and snarky women ever??? Like I had to step backand regroup over some of the comments that were left for some people. Just no tact at all! Everyone's wedding will be different and every thing isn't for everybody, but if I hear or see a bride so excited about something she wants to add or do, then I will support her! Isn't that what the groups are supposed to be about??

Sorry for getting so heated ladies, but it really grinds my gears!!!!Yell
Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: Do you ever go to other forums....

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2013-weddings_do-you-ever-go-to-other-forums?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:cd1f7f85-cf50-4bfe-9bfc-0a3b46d68364Discussion:bdc276be-3572-4d8d-937b-a1ade01eac56Post:96b82055-0fde-4c62-beaa-3191bab5325d">Do you ever go to other forums....</a>:
    [QUOTE]Do you ever go to other groups/forums on here and get ready to post when you see some of the most rude and snarky women ever??? Like I had to step backand regroup over some of the comments that were left for some people. Just no tact at all! Everyone's wedding will be different and every thing isn't for everybody, but if I hear or see a bride so excited about something she wants to add or do, then I will support her! Isn't that what the groups are supposed to be about?? Sorry for getting so heated ladies, but it really grinds my gears!!!!
    Posted by Shifsgirl[/QUOTE]

    Yes happens a lot! I actually get mad reading some of the posts people write. I dont even comment bc I would get to mad and it would cause a fight. I have been engaged for awhile now I have learned where to post on here and were not too. I have to learn not to even read posts on some boards bc I get so mad. But oh well. Some people forget that people do things differently. And whats normal to some people isnt normal to otheres. And they make people feel so bad about it. There are many ways to do a wedding and many things that are considered "normal". People forget that. Most of these women are already married and post there. Then brides are like that is not what I asked and these people still keep telling her how she is wrong. And she is not wrong! Whatever I get ur pain. There are some really good boards. I like my local board and some others, but some boards, not so much!
  • button6004button6004 member
    1000 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited July 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2013-weddings_do-you-ever-go-to-other-forums?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:cd1f7f85-cf50-4bfe-9bfc-0a3b46d68364Discussion:bdc276be-3572-4d8d-937b-a1ade01eac56Post:adda8d05-27a9-4ebd-832e-7527540ae64a">Re: Do you ever go to other forums....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Do you ever go to other forums.... : Yes happens a lot! I actually get mad reading some of the posts people write. I dont even comment bc I would get to mad and it would cause a fight. I have been engaged for awhile now I have learned where to post on here and were not too. I have to learn not to even read posts on some boards bc I get so mad. But oh well. Some people forget that people do things differently. And whats normal to some people isnt normal to otheres. And they make people feel so bad about it. There are many ways to do a wedding and many things that are considered "normal". People forget that. <strong>Most of these women are already married and post there. </strong>Then brides are like that is not what I asked and these people still keep telling her how she is wrong. And she is not wrong! Whatever I get ur pain. There are some really good boards. I like my local board and some others, but some boards, not so much!
    Posted by pisha82[/QUOTE]

    And theres good reason for that.  They are the best people to give advice.  I want advice from people who have experienced the joys and pitfalls of wedding planning. 

    I go on a variety of the other boards and I've rarely seen any situations where posters are mean to someone.  Just because they tell you that something you are planning is rude, inappropriate or tacky doesnt make them mean.  And at the end of the day, this is the internet.  When you open something up for people to comment, you should expect people to speak their mind. If you dont like it, dont post.

    image 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker

     

     

     

  • I don't mind the difference of oppinion (it's a free country after all), but when you tend to be snide in your remarks or tell someone that what they would like to do is not cool, or you wouldn't attend their wedding, it's like COME ON, REALLY??? It's actually kind of sad! If I was a newly engaged woman, it would be a bit of a turn off. It's been so awful at times that it seems like "I'm the wedding Guru, so you need to button it up and listen" LITERALLY. I just don't want any woman to feel like what she wants is not good enough! At the end of the day, the couple is going to have the day that they want and nothing any one of us can say will change that! 

    gears keep grinding on this! lol

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • But wouldnt you rather have someone tell you that something you want to do is rude before you do it, instead of having your guests complaining about it?  Again, if you post asking for advice, you are going to get it whether you like what is said or not.  There's no reason to let it "grind your gears," especially when you arent the one receiving this supposedly horrible treatment.  The world isnt coated in gumdrops and rainbows, and sometimes brides-to-be need a swift kick in the rear when they are planning to do something that really isnt cool (like having live goldfish centerpieces or blatantly asking people for cash for a "honeymoon fund" at your reception).

    If people are just going to go ahead and have the day that they want anyway, then none of this matters at all.  If you arent going to take any of the advice offered, why bother asking questions? And if "nothing any one of us can say will change" what they want to do, then it doesnt matter if people are mega friendly or snarky in responding to the posters.

    image 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker

     

     

     

  • Well we clearly woke up on two different sides of the bridal bed this morning, lol... It's all good! If snarky is your thing or being friendly it's up to you! Just like someone can voice their opinions on what's wrong and right about a wedding, I can voice my opinion on the tactfullness or the lack there of by some posters. 

    God bless :-)


    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2013-weddings_do-you-ever-go-to-other-forums?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:cd1f7f85-cf50-4bfe-9bfc-0a3b46d68364Discussion:bdc276be-3572-4d8d-937b-a1ade01eac56Post:b423374c-10f6-41c1-a1f1-bb93be588edb">Re: Do you ever go to other forums....</a>:
    [QUOTE]But wouldnt you rather have someone tell you that something you want to do is rude before you do it, instead of having your guests complaining about it?  Again, if you post asking for advice, you are going to get it whether you like what is said or not.  There's no reason to let it "grind your gears," especially when you arent the one receiving this supposedly horrible treatment.  The world isnt coated in gumdrops and rainbows, and sometimes brides-to-be need a swift kick in the rear when they are planning to do something that really isnt cool (like having live goldfish centerpieces or blatantly asking people for cash for a "honeymoon fund" at your reception). If people are just going to go ahead and have the day that they want anyway, then none of this matters at all.  If you arent going to take any of the advice offered, why bother asking questions? And if "nothing any one of us can say will change" what they want to do, then it doesnt matter if people are mega friendly or snarky in responding to the posters.
    Posted by button6004[/QUOT

    Come on girls lets not turn this into other boards! Shifsgirl is saying comments are said in a way that can be taken as mean. Really you dont need to open up what you are saying by calling someone rude or pointing out how wrong someone is. People do things differently, and that doesnt make them wrong. Different people in different circles do things differently. Whats normal in one circle isnt always normal in another. When we were talking about boudor photos my Fi doesn agree with them. That doesnt make everyone wrong who wants them. My responce was I love the idea, but my FI doesnt agree for x and x reason. When giving your opinion it can be said differently. You can say that may not be the best idea bc... Or do you really think you are treating people correctly why dont you try...

    You are however right, that it is the internet and you dont have to follow peoples advice. But it is a good way to share ideas, and those boards I find to be very good.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2013-weddings_do-you-ever-go-to-other-forums?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:cd1f7f85-cf50-4bfe-9bfc-0a3b46d68364Discussion:bdc276be-3572-4d8d-937b-a1ade01eac56Post:238e09cd-671d-40f9-a967-dc3832785a9f">Re: Do you ever go to other forums....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do you ever go to other forums.... : [QUOTE]But wouldnt you rather have someone tell you that something you want to do is rude before you do it, instead of having your guests complaining about it?  Again, if you post asking for advice, you are going to get it whether you like what is said or not.  There's no reason to let it "grind your gears," especially when you arent the one receiving this supposedly horrible treatment.  The world isnt coated in gumdrops and rainbows, and sometimes brides-to-be need a swift kick in the rear when they are planning to do something that really isnt cool (like having live goldfish centerpieces or blatantly asking people for cash for a "honeymoon fund" at your reception). If people are just going to go ahead and have the day that they want anyway, then none of this matters at all.  If you arent going to take any of the advice offered, why bother asking questions? And if "nothing any one of us can say will change" what they want to do, then it doesnt matter if people are mega friendly or snarky in responding to the posters. Posted by button6004[/QUOT Come on girls lets not turn this into other boards! Shifsgirl is saying comments are said in a way that can be taken as mean. Really you dont need to open up what you are saying by calling someone rude or pointing out how wrong someone is. People do things differently, and that doesnt make them wrong. Different people in different circles do things differently. Whats normal in one circle isnt always normal in another. When we were talking about boudor photos my Fi doesn agree with them. That doesnt make everyone wrong who wants them. My responce was I love the idea, but my FI doesnt agree for x and x reason. When giving your opinion it can be said differently. You can say that may not be the best idea bc... Or do you really think you are treating people correctly why dont you try... You are however right, that it is the internet and you dont have to follow peoples advice. <strong>But it is a good way to share ideas, and those boards I find to be very good.</strong>
    Posted by pisha82[/QUOTE]

    <div>THIS! There are really nice boards here <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" /></div>
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2013-weddings_do-you-ever-go-to-other-forums?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:cd1f7f85-cf50-4bfe-9bfc-0a3b46d68364Discussion:bdc276be-3572-4d8d-937b-a1ade01eac56Post:238e09cd-671d-40f9-a967-dc3832785a9f">Re: Do you ever go to other forums....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do you ever go to other forums.... : [ Come on girls lets not turn this into other boards! Shifsgirl is saying comments are said in a way that can be taken as mean. Really you dont need to open up what you are saying by calling someone rude or pointing out how wrong someone is. People do things differently, and that doesnt make them wrong. Different people in different circles do things differently. Whats normal in one circle isnt always normal in another. When we were talking about boudor photos my Fi doesn agree with them. That doesnt make everyone wrong who wants them. My responce was I love the idea, but my FI doesnt agree for x and x reason<strong>. When giving your opinion it can be said differently. You can say that may not be the best idea bc... Or do you really think you are treating people correctly why dont you try..</strong>. You are however right, that it is the internet and you dont have to follow peoples advice. But it is a good way to share ideas, and those boards I find to be very good.
    Posted by pisha82[/QUOTE]

    You cant tell people how to post. 

    image 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker

     

     

     

  • gmcr78gmcr78 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper

    I agree with button.  I think most of the time that an OP claims "abuse" or rudeness on the part of the posters responding to her initial post, it's usually because the OP doesn't like what she's hearing.  A lot of people get on the boards complaining about their wedding party or family because they feel entitled to things, when the reality is they aren't entitled to anything, and the problem really lies with the OP.  Or they want to do something that's really rude to their guests because "that's the way it's done here" but in reality, it's a breach of etiquette.  Just because it's the first time someone has told them it's not following etiquette does not mean they're being mean.  Sometimes it's hard to hear that you're (not you specifically, the hypothetical OP) in the wrong.
    That said, I have seen some posters go out of their way to be rude, or argue semantics when they're ignoring the larger issue, and that can be irritating.  It's been better lately, I think, than it was several months ago. 
    I know that I've learned a lot by following these boards, thankfully before I made some horrible etiquette faux pas that had people talking about me for years to come.

  • Yeah......

    I like most of the other communities I've seen :) I think people tend to get upset when they don't get back the responses they want to hear, but I agree with PPs who pointed out that people who have already planned weddings have better advice sometimes because they have lived through it.

    I've only seen a few threads where OP says one thing and everyone jumps on her for supposedly doing something 'bad'...that she didn't mean to do; or when people pick a single word from a post and blow it up into a "Oh my goodness I can't believe you would use that word!!! You are so entitled!" thing.

    I don't know. It's just the internet :) if people are mean, close your computer! 

    That said... let's keep this board nice please, haha.

    I think that if you're on, say, the Etiquette board, or the Attire board, asking about etiquette or attire rules, of course you should expect to get responses that apply those rules. It's the whole point of those boards. Different from, say, the month club boards, where I feel a little more freedom posting things without wondering if they are "right" or not.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    pinterest, obvi.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2013-weddings_do-you-ever-go-to-other-forums?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:cd1f7f85-cf50-4bfe-9bfc-0a3b46d68364Discussion:bdc276be-3572-4d8d-937b-a1ade01eac56Post:17d8f389-95e0-47d0-8047-9695b0280e69">Re: Do you ever go to other forums....</a>:
    [QUOTE]  I know that I've learned a lot by following these boards, <strong>thankfully before I made some horrible etiquette faux pas that had people talking about me for years to come.</strong>
    Posted by gmcr78[/QUOTE]

    <div>Also this is exactly how I feel. I had no idea that you aren't supposed to plan your own shower/bachelorette or that you might not get one if no one offers. I haven't had many friends get married so I honestly hadn't thought about it. BUT now I know not to expect anything :)</div><div>
    </div><div>I think that the main point is that just because you're getting married doesn't mean anything except that you are marrying someone... and there are a lot of people out there who feel entitled to things they are NOT entitled to, and turn into "bridezillas" i.e. not nice people, when they feel they have been "let down" by someone.</div>

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    pinterest, obvi.

  • edited July 2012
    Your opinions (although different from mine) were put pleasantly. That's all that matters to meLaughing Gears are shutdown for today. lol
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I hate it, but then I remember that I post on blogs for advice, not to try and get people on my side...I talk to family about ideas, and they give me a good reality check too. Lemme use an example:

    clinking of the glass blog I had a while ago...people were for doing something different, which got my hopes up. When I talked to my family about all the ideas I had, they gave me the reality check on how it wouldn't be a good idea for multiple reasons...

    Granted, I wouldn't want someone telling me "I would never attend your wedding if you were my friend and doing something like that." That's never cool. However, I like it when someone would say, "I tried that, and I didn't get the response I wanted, so be careful..." or even, "That sounds really good...but how about this...?" and then give me advice like that.

    I have seen my share of snarky responses, and it makes me feel like an idiot sometimes. but we have to remember: Some of us here have never been married before. Others have, and are trying to give the best advice they can...and not sugar coat it. Yes, they could be less snarky. but remember::

    In the end, it is YOUR wedding. YOU have the final choice. Whether the response you get is good or bad, it's what makes YOU and the love of your life happy.... this is YOUR special day!! :)
    imageLilySlim Weight loss tickers Visit The Knot! Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I haven't been to many other boards, just the NC board. But I agree, everyone is different with their own style. I love to read other peoples ideas because it gives me ideas and I hope other people feel the same about my posts.
  • When I first came on here I had no idea what I was talking about. Sure it hurt at first when I got called out on my faux pas but I stuck around and gradually learned all the things I was planning on originally was rude, inconsiderate, and against etiquette. It all boils down to this, would you rather have a group of strangers on the internet call you on your bad/rude ideas, or go through with them on your wedding day and have your guests be offended/hurt? This place is all about tough love. I'm happy I've stuck around here. I'm learning more and more everyday and I know my wedding day will reflect how much more thought I put into it for the guests and I have these ladies to thank for it!
  • I've used the bump and the knot and found those women all over, I've learned to disreguard them, they're lives consist of these forums, we, on the other hand, have REAL lives. Hahaha.
    Lilypie - (pZmO)

    Daisypath - (m6Pg)
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards