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May 2013 Weddings
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Need Some Input

tandrosofftandrosoff
First Comment
in May 2013 Weddings
Morning ladies, happy new year! 2013 is our year & I can't freaking wait! aha.

I will try to make this as short & easy as possible but that might be tough. FI & I are getting ready to send invites out this month & this morning I was going over the guestlist. So here it begins.. my moms side of the family is very tight knit & close. We do alot of things together, everyone's involved for holidays & events. I lost my uncle to brain cancer in May 2009 & he left behind his wife (my moms sister) & teenage son. That aunt has been seeing someone for the last couple of years & he has 3 kids. I don't know them very well, they attend our family events (thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.) because my aunt & him are there. Now as of right now, we were inviting my aunt, him*, my cousin & his girlfriend. Now.. I'm wondering if I have to invite his kids? Which bumps up their "portion of invites" from 4 people to 7. His oldest son I've met only once & his other 2 kids are like I said at family events. My FI & I don't interact with his kids.. they don't interact with us & my aunts relationship status isn't married or engaged to this guy... so question is, do I have to invite the kids or can I just invite him for the sake of her?

Sorry again if it's confusing or long.. I just need some input on which way I can go with this dilemma.
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Re: Need Some Input

  • bburkelbburkel
    First Comment
    If you are close to your aunt, you could ask her if she'd like his kids to be invited.  Otherwise, i'd say don't invite them, if you aren't close to them.
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  • vchan4vchan4
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Ditto asking your aunt. Are other kids being invited? If not, you could say that kids are not being invited.
    I would be incline to not invite them since you are not close to them/dont interact with them.
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  • SwazzleSwazzle member
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    I don't think I'd feel obligated to invite them.



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  • FLGatorGal88FLGatorGal88 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Ditto PP...
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  • bcbrown63bcbrown63
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited January 2013
    Are you inviting the kids of other family members?   I think it would be a little strange to leave them out if you are inviting all of the other children on your side of the family. We are inviting children of family members, but not friends.  

    Are you and FI paying for the wedding?  If so, it's ultimately your decision.  If it's not a big space/monetary issue to add 3 additional people, I don't see why you wouldn't, IMHO.

    EDIT: sorry, I didn't realize that they're not married.  I don't think it's a big deal to leave them out.  Of course, I'm sure they'd appreciate it if you could, but no big deal.
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  • tandrosofftandrosoff
    First Comment
    His kids are older.. oldest is 20? middle is 17 & youngest is 14? So they're not really kids... young adults. Does that make a difference?
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  • SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    yeah i wouldnt invite the kids.
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  • marta119marta119
    Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment
    I wouldn't invite the kids.
    Can I ask why are you sending your invitations so early? (I'm just curious Smile)
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  • bcbrown63bcbrown63
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_need-some-input?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:07ad9f37-2703-4112-bb83-ead5207827b8Post:9025ca39-7456-4eec-beca-7a47876ca2c8">Re: Need Some Input</a>:
    [QUOTE]His kids are older.. oldest is 20? middle is 17 & youngest is 14? So they're not really kids... young adults. Does that make a difference?
    Posted by tandrosoff[/QUOTE]

    Nope, not at all.  I agree with PP.  I just can't read! :)
    May 2013 Brides February Siggy: Invites imageWedding Countdown Ticker
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  • tandrosofftandrosoff
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_need-some-input?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:07ad9f37-2703-4112-bb83-ead5207827b8Post:d4632e1e-2b0e-44af-933e-7600bfd60e86">Re: Need Some Input</a>:
    [QUOTE]I wouldn't invite the kids. Can I ask why are you sending your invitations so early? (I'm just curious )
    Posted by marta119[/QUOTE]

    I don't really see it as so early.. by the time we send them out, it'll be the 4 months mark & I've made the RSVP by April 25th. Etiquette is the 3 month mark. Around here, we usually anywheres between 5 months of the wedding. Just want to be ahead of the game & organized.
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  • bcbrown63bcbrown63
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited January 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_need-some-input?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:07ad9f37-2703-4112-bb83-ead5207827b8Post:df9f6741-a603-4614-b051-1a83f1d44624">Re: Need Some Input</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Need Some Input : I don't really see it as so early.. by the time we send them out, it'll be the 4 months mark & I've made the RSVP by April 25th. Etiquette is the 3 month mark. Around here, we usually anywheres between 5 months of the wedding. Just want to be ahead of the game & organized.
    Posted by tandrosoff[/QUOTE]

    Etiquette is 6-8 weeks from your wedding date, not the RSVP date.  We're not sending ours until St. Patrick's Day weekend and my date is a week before yours.

    Since your wedding will be on a holiday weekend, I think you're okay with sending them out closer to the 8-week mark, but I think 4 months is too early.  You'll run the risk of people forgetting since they have so much time to respond.
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  • tandrosofftandrosoff
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_need-some-input?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:07ad9f37-2703-4112-bb83-ead5207827b8Post:49a7ce8f-e6a2-486f-841a-bdb141fbc902">Re: Need Some Input</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Need Some Input : Etiquette is 6-8 weeks from your wedding date, not the RSVP date.  We're not sending ours until St. Patrick's Day weekend and my date is a week before yours. Since your wedding will be on a holiday weekend, I think you're okay with sending them out closer to the 8-week mark, but I think 4 months is too early.  You'll run the risk of people forgetting since they have so much time to respond.
    Posted by bcbrown63[/QUOTE]

    I'm in Saskatchewan, Canada & the holiday is the weekend before for us. The weekend of our wedding is a regular weekend. And again, just a prefrence for ourselves of when we want to send them.
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