this is the code for the render ad
May 2013 Weddings

My Bridesmaid.

Everybody gave me their budget. It was the same. 200. She couldn't afford, or didn't want to afford it. David's Bridal is having a sale. Certain items in the store are up to 75 off, which makes some bridesmaids dresses as low as 29. Of course I told them just to have that option. The either four girls would rather skip the sale and wait until November to shop as originally planned. She, however, wants to check out the sale. Okay, no problem. In my opinion, all the sale dresses are ugly, but whatever, we can go look. So today I sent a group message of the seven dresses I liked and asked them to pick one that they like. Four were 139, the others were 99. Everybody answered except for her. I think it was because of the prices. Everybody wants short dresses, except for her. She wants long so she doesn't have to wear heels. I was cool at first cause I thought she wanted a long dress to be comfy because she is plus sized. But it's because she wants to wear flats. I don't care if you change into flats for the reception, but for ceremony and pictures, I want heels. Originally, she wasn't in the wedding, but I needed a fifth girl. She said if I had no one else, she would do it. Okay cool. But now, should I take these issues as a sign of things to come, or am I worried for nothing.?? She still hasn't answered me about the dress. Oh, yea, its FI's sister. Now what.??
May 2013 January Siggy: Cake.!
imageWedding Countdown Ticker

Re: My Bridesmaid.

  • Why do you say you needed a 5th bridesmaid? Was it to make sure you had an even number on both sides? If so, you do not need to have the same amount on both sides.

    It sounds like she didn't want the job to begin with and was only willing to do it out of friendship to you. I would have an honest conversation with her. If she does not want the shorter dress because of price, you may want to offer to pay the difference. And I would give her the option to back out without hurting your friendship.

    May 2013 Brides Siggy Challenge January- Let Them Eat Cake!
    My cake is a 2-tier ivory cake with silver dotted scallops, ribbon and pearl brooch.
    image

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited September 2012
    I don't get why you needed a 5th girl...the sides don't have to be even. I know someone who just chose people to have even sides and she had a similar situation to you. I would have an honest convo with her and see if she really wants to be in the wedding. The way she's acting it doesn't seem like so wants to or can afford to be in the wedding which is fine and let her know that. Just be nice and understanding so that if she says she doesn't or can't be in your wedding she doesn't feel bad about it. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    192 invited image
    69 will be there image
    5 will be missing out image
     118 haven't RSVP'Dimage
    RSVP Deadline: May 3rd
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_my-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:21f4028c-78ff-45d8-b484-4bf94c55e115Post:2e1b6e3e-ed9c-4dd2-9fd3-dc7b163441a7">My Bridesmaid.</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Originally, she wasn't in the wedding, but I needed a fifth girl. She said if I had no one else, she would do it. </strong>Okay cool. But now, should I take these issues as a sign of things to come, or am I worried for nothing.?? She still hasn't answered me about the dress. Oh, yea, its FI's sister. Now what.??
    Posted by shano06[/QUOTE]
    The bolded part makes me incredibly nervous.<div>
    </div><div>It sounds like you wanted her there as a 'prop', not because she's somebody you genuinely want to stand with you. I'm sure that's exactly what she's feeling, hence her cold feelings toward you- and the part of her saying 'she would do it if no one else would' isn't good at all. It's obvious she doesn't want to be in the WP.</div>
    <a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Money Saving Tips"><img src="http://global.thenest.com/tickers/tt17ce82.aspx" alt="Anniversary" border="0"  /></a>

    White Knot

    Planning Bio-Added FOR SALE page, will be adding more stuff to it soon! 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_my-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:21f4028c-78ff-45d8-b484-4bf94c55e115Post:a573a60d-b685-4f8d-ad62-6a97cf265b4d">Re: My Bridesmaid.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to My Bridesmaid. : The bolded part makes me incredibly nervous. It sounds like you wanted her there as a 'prop', not because she's somebody you genuinely want to stand with you. I'm sure that's exactly what she's feeling, hence her cold feelings toward you- and the part of her saying 'she would do it if no one else would' isn't good at all. It's obvious she doesn't want to be in the WP.
    Posted by SSaltzman87[/QUOTE]

    <div>I 100% agree with this. I'd feel pretty shitty if I was someone's BM just to fill a spot because she "needed" a 5th person. </div>



  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_my-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:21f4028c-78ff-45d8-b484-4bf94c55e115Post:5b98f687-9af5-4eec-b5d6-480799d8ce56">Re: My Bridesmaid.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Bridesmaid. : I 100% agree with this. I'd feel pretty shitty if I was someone's BM just to fill a spot because she "needed" a 5th person. 
    Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]

    I completely understand that, but if that's how she feels, I would rather her express that to me rather than ignore my messages. She didn't have to agree to be a bridesmaid.
    May 2013 January Siggy: Cake.!
    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_my-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:21f4028c-78ff-45d8-b484-4bf94c55e115Post:4ca2fd21-4425-4207-bc06-d051f0f2c9d3">Re: My Bridesmaid.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Bridesmaid. : I completely understand that, but if that's how she feels, I would rather her express that to me rather than ignore my messages. She didn't have to agree to be a bridesmaid.
    Posted by shano06[/QUOTE]
    She probably feels like she can't talk to you. I'm also sure she felt like she had to say yes to being a BM since she's FI's sister and didn't want to possibly start anything by saying no, KWIM? <div>
    </div><div>It might be a good idea for FI to handle this since she's his sister.</div>
    <a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Money Saving Tips"><img src="http://global.thenest.com/tickers/tt17ce82.aspx" alt="Anniversary" border="0"  /></a>

    White Knot

    Planning Bio-Added FOR SALE page, will be adding more stuff to it soon! 
  • A bridal party is't a necessity. It's a want. All you NEED for a wedding is a bride, groom, officiant and witness.

    Talk to her. Maybe she can't afford the dress. Maybe she offered the "help" because she didn't understand your "need" for a fifth bridesmaid. Maybe, if she still will be a bridesmaid, you should take her comfort into consideration and let her wear flats. You can't reguire anyone to wear anything unless you're paying for it.
    May 2013 October Siggy - The Honeymoon Walt Disney & Daytona Beach imageFollow Me on Pinterest
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_my-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:21f4028c-78ff-45d8-b484-4bf94c55e115Post:96394d84-5263-4975-9ade-ceb1c71d2779">Re: My Bridesmaid.</a>:
    [QUOTE]A bridal party is't a necessity. It's a want. All you NEED for a wedding is a bride, groom, officiant and witness. Talk to her. Maybe she can't afford the dress. Maybe she offered the "help" because she didn't understand your "need" for a fifth bridesmaid. Maybe, if she still will be a bridesmaid, you should take her comfort into consideration and let her wear flats. You can't reguire anyone to wear anything unless you're paying for it.
    Posted by SRRL18[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I agree with this.  Also not everyone can wear heels.  I mean not just a "my feet hurt a little I don't want to wear them" but some people have bad feet that are made worse when they wear heels.  

    </div>
    Wedding Countdown Ticker PersonalMilestone
  • I'm plussize and it's a hard things for a plus size girl to be a bridesmaid. Listen, this isn't a woe-is-me i'm a chubster post this is more of a little insight. Most plus sie girls when wearing heels feel uncomfortable. If she is tall like me, well - you can feel even larger. The thing is, she needs to suck it up and go with the flow here. I've been in a crapload of weddings and am happy with all but two of the dresses. One is because I was too cheap/lazy to have it tailored correctly and the other is because the bride refused to take my bodyshape into consideration. Now she has to look at my big canned ham theighs everytime she looks at her wedding pictures because she NEEDED the girls in a short dress. You're being flexible but she might feel all around weird. 1. She was only in it because you needed a 5th girl. 2. She's broke. It's hard being the broke girl. 3. She may be selfconcious -  it's hard being the big girl 4. She may be trying to save a buck or two -  being in wedding is REALLY expensive and a commitment and for her only doing it out of friendship not as an original consideration she could feel slighted 5. Please know I'm not being a jerk - she honestly may just have enough of dress talk for a wedding that's 8 months away. 

    I get it though. My sister is in two weedings in May. Mine and her friends. Her friend is so super on-it that she's literally driving her girls crazy and all shes trying to do is be helpful, organized and keep herself sane. The girls are not responding, my sister is so irratated she hasn't even felt excited to get her dress. Then theres me  - get what you want, just feel beautiful in it because if you ruin my pictures I'll kill you. LOL. 

    Be honest with her, tell her your concerned and that if it's too much you get it. You won't be mad but you want her to have fun and look beautiful and she's important to you. It's important that she shares your day. Let her bail but don't make her feel like a fill in. 

    I feel terrible if I came off as rude or anything, I just think this is an uncomfortable position for you and all you want is a beautiful day. She'll come around, give her time. There might even be something going on in her life that she hasn't told you about. :(
    May 2013 August Siggy: The Hair AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NO idea! Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • ... i just re-read that. Dude, it's your mans sister and she was a fill in? This may not work out and you may want to have concern. She likely feels like crapola that you didn't originally include her. I know it's not required or anything but some people can take offense to that. Has she mentioned anything to anyone? She's gonna be your family FOREVER, you need to do like Mel and her FI and do the best you can to be patient with her. Maybe offer to buy the dress and have her pay you back if she can wait till november or mention it to your future inlaws?  How frusterating.
    May 2013 August Siggy: The Hair AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NO idea! Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • ... i just re-read that. Dude, it's your mans sister and she was a fill in? This may not work out and you may want to have concern. She likely feels like crapola that you didn't originally include her. I know it's not required or anything but some people can take offense to that. Has she mentioned anything to anyone? She's gonna be your family FOREVER, you need to do like Mel and her FI and do the best you can to be patient with her. Maybe offer to buy the dress and have her pay you back if she can wait till november or mention it to your future inlaws?  How frusterating.
    May 2013 August Siggy: The Hair AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NO idea! Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_my-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:21f4028c-78ff-45d8-b484-4bf94c55e115Post:565f8168-c722-4082-b0ba-13aab8825e82">Re: My Bridesmaid.</a>:
    [QUOTE]... i just re-read that. Dude, it's your mans sister and she was a fill in? This may not work out and you may want to have concern. She likely feels like crapola that you didn't originally include her. I know it's not required or anything but some people can take offense to that. Has she mentioned anything to anyone? She's gonna be your family FOREVER, you need to do like Mel and her FI and do the best you can to be patient with her. Maybe offer to buy the dress and have her pay you back if she can wait till november or mention it to your future inlaws?  How frusterating.
    Posted by kmsst48[/QUOTE]

    FI has NINE SISTERS. I couldn't include everybody. Lol. His best woman is his twin sister. That's all he wanted. I did offer to buy the dress or pay half, whichever she's comfortabe with, but she said she'll take care of it. We're going Sunday to look at the sale dresses and I promise to work with her. We'll just see how it goes from there.
    May 2013 January Siggy: Cake.!
    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards