May 2013 Weddings

Ugh, WR crisis.

FI found out today that his cousin who recently got engaged has set his date for the same day as ours. They never asked us when our date was, and we pretty much set our new one before they were even engaged (they got engaged on christmas). Also, apparently they want US to change our date. 

Needless to say, I'm peeved. Peeved mostly because of the position they've now put FI's family in.


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Re: Ugh, WR crisis.

  • Do they not understand that you have things booked and cant just change your day because they have chosen the same day?
    Proud 36yr old Mama of 3, expecting #4 - 8yrs after #3 :)BabyFetus Ticker Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • WOW! that blows! i hope it all works out and they all come to their senses.
  • We just talked to them since his cousin sent me a message on FB telling me to call him ASAP. They pretty much can't move their date for more concrete reasons than ours, and they're at the same place in planning as we are- they have the same number of vendors booked that we do- so there's no turning back for either of us. Also, her entire family will have to fly in and she'll still be in school prior to May 25th next year. So the fact that we had our date booked first is kind of moot at this point :-P

    I just feel horrible for FI's grandma since she's being put in a horrible position.
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    White Knot

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  • But you had reserved the day first... I'd be ridiculously upset.  Have they booked a venue yet???

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  • It's just really unfortunate, and I hate that about half of FI's family won't be there because of this. 
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    White Knot

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  • I know this would completely suck... but can you move your date by a few weeks?

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  • We can't a few weeks earlier since that's when a couple of our friends are getting married and we're in their wedding, and we really can't later because we'd compromise my side of the family being able to come for my grandparents' traditon of getting us altogether for the 4th of July- they'd have to choose between the two. We're already making my side of the family essentially choose.

    Also, a few of my cousins will be graduating high school or college then, so we kind of want to be 'ahead of the game' in a sense too.
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    White Knot

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  • Oh wow that sucks. I have no ideas or suggestions it sounds like your both in a bind as far as dates go.

    As far as grandma goes, she's being put in a horrible position.

    As crazy as this will sound do you think she'd be able to split the time? Like maybe do ceremony reception hr with your cousin an finish off reception with you? or vice versa.
  • Wow that sounds like a horrible situation! Yikes, I'm sending you lots of good juju vibes that everything works it self out! Goodluck!!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_ugh-wr-crisis?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:25a9c2cb-7c7f-417e-b838-478f0b375417Post:48fe9466-8d2f-419d-96b0-8dc3204be0cd">Re: Ugh, WR crisis.</a>:
    [QUOTE]As crazy as this will sound do you think she'd be able to split the time? Like maybe do ceremony reception hr with your cousin an finish off reception with you? or vice versa.
    Posted by Danny&Mel2003[/QUOTE]
    That's what was brought up when FI and I talked to his cousin and logisitically with anyone else it could work since our weddings are located 20 minutes apart and their ceremony will be at 5:30 and ours at 6:30. <div>
    </div><div>Unfortunately with her, she's not in the best of health so not only would there be the possibility of her not having the strength to attend 2 ceremonies plus someone would have to drive her to both. </div><div>
    </div><div>We basically concluded that it should ultimately be up to her to figure out what she wants to do, still got over a year to figure it out. I wouldn't want to be in her position and she's not going to take it well when we let her know what's going on.</div>
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    White Knot

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  • Maybe all of you sit down with Fi's grandma and find out if she has any suggestions? My heart aches for you. This is such a crappy situation they have pt you in.
    Proud 36yr old Mama of 3, expecting #4 - 8yrs after #3 :)BabyFetus Ticker Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
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    Wow that really sucks. I would be pissed. Why can't they change their date? I can't believe they wouldn't check with you first.  Although now that I think of it, 2 of my cousins are engaged right now & I definitely didn't ask them when their wedding was when FI & I started planning ours.  Regardless, that really sucks.  

    Is there anyway one of you could do like a brunch-time wedding earlier in the day & the other can have an evening wedding?  It'll be a long day but at least your families will be able to attend both. 



  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_ugh-wr-crisis?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:25a9c2cb-7c7f-417e-b838-478f0b375417Post:e64e81d4-e7f8-4f76-88e1-bbd4b7e20d20">Re: Ugh, WR crisis.</a>:
    [QUOTE]  Is there anyway one of you could do like a brunch-time wedding earlier in the day & the other can have an evening wedding?  It'll be a long day but at least your families will be able to attend both. 
    Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]
    I suggested that actually, lol. They didn't like that idea.<div>
    </div><div>FI and I are slowly becoming comfortable with the fact that half of his family basically just took themselves off our guest list.</div>
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    White Knot

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  • That weekend is memorial day weekend so most people have monday the 27th off so could you move it one day? I know alot of places that give discounts for Sunday weddings and if its not already booked I dont see why one day would ruin anything. You could ask your vendors since you have plenty of time and see what they say. I had to change my date from August to May and my vendors were really sweet about it.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_ugh-wr-crisis?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:25a9c2cb-7c7f-417e-b838-478f0b375417Post:4d079814-3873-4c21-b5eb-f54ca67294ed">Re: Ugh, WR crisis.</a>:
    [QUOTE]That weekend is memorial day weekend so most people have monday the 27th off so could you move it one day? I know alot of places that give discounts for Sunday weddings and if its not already booked I dont see why one day would ruin anything. You could ask your vendors since you have plenty of time and see what they say. I had to change my date from August to May and my vendors were really sweet about it.
    Posted by Tarren89[/QUOTE]
    I'm actually being charged more by a couple vendors for that weekend since it's considered a holiday weekend, so it doesn't make much of a difference if it's on a sunday or not. Also, can't change my date with my venue because it's a city park and the building where we're having it in isn't open that day due to the holiday. Also on any other sunday, their regulations would only allow us to use the building for 4 hours max.

    You see why we're stuck :-P

    I had thought of that too and brought it up to his cousin as well without any luck :-/
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    White Knot

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  • That's crazy and I'd be flipping out right about now. Family should NEVER have to choose who's wedding to attend. I think your FI's cousin has put the family in a really bad position. Someone's feelings are bound to get hurt here.

    Since you can't move your wedding to the Sunday could the cousin? Or even what about a Friday night, cocktail reception. It could potentially save you money.

    Who had their vendors booked first? Could the cousin push the date back one weekend?

    I'm sorry, this is a really crappy situation and I hope that everything works out for you soon.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_ugh-wr-crisis?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:25a9c2cb-7c7f-417e-b838-478f0b375417Post:bf967956-e80d-48d4-9504-2168dd99751e">Re: Ugh, WR crisis.</a>:
    [QUOTE]That's crazy and I'd be flipping out right about now. Family should NEVER have to choose who's wedding to attend. I think your FI's cousin has put the family in a really bad position. Someone's feelings are bound to get hurt here. Since you can't move your wedding to the Sunday could the cousin? Or even what about a Friday night, cocktail reception. It could potentially save you money. Who had their vendors booked first? Could the cousin push the date back one weekend? I'm sorry, this is a really crappy situation and I hope that everything works out for you soon.
    Posted by SRRL18[/QUOTE]
    We had all our vendors booked (with exception of new venue which we booked 3 months ago) as of last summer for our original date and let them all know of our new one so technically, we had everything booked before them, and way before they got engaged.

    We've been thinking about the whole situation a ton since we found out about this last night. FI's aunt knew of our date LONG ago, like at least a few months so either she didn't tell his cousin (I wouldn't be surprised if this were the truth), or they honestly weren't thinking when they set their date. She had asked us our date and wanted our address since both of FI's cousins are getting married soon, the other one being this December.

    Oddly enough, this is kind of a blessing since FI has always had issues with this side of the family and now we won't have to worry about them. And there's no bad blood here TBH, FI's cousin truly was being the adult and coming to us about it. We're gonna keep trucking along and May 25th will be a super important day for both of us, no use in creating more drama. This side of the family is also tiny, so thankfully there aren't any other people to consider.

    Also, there's a very good chance that FI's grandma won't be in the best shape to attend either wedding- her health is declining kinda fast. Life goes on for everyone and I know it'll work out in the end.
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    White Knot

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  • I'm so sorry that this has to happen to you. Like seriously, what are the odds that you both would pick the same day. This sucks... The only thing I can think of is for you both to have your weddings on the same day but at different times in the day. This way everyone would be able to attend both weddings. :( Let us know how things go.
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  • (((HUGS))) lots of them being sent to you.
    Proud 36yr old Mama of 3, expecting #4 - 8yrs after #3 :)BabyFetus Ticker Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Keep your head up it will all work out!! I am sure you will think of other ideas.. I would be upset.. I was upset when I asked my cousin who is getting married this summer who the designer of her dress was so maybe I could do a procress of a limitation on which she chose so I wouldnt since I want to order my dress soon her, but she refused. Keep us posted.. We are all here for support..
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  • I've really taken the time to let it sink in plus had a chance to talk to my mom about it too and she brought up a few really great points.

    His other cousin and aunt are really quite unpleasant, and now we won't have to deal with them at our wedding- and that's kind of a blessing. It's also a few less people to feed.

    A lot of weird things have happened in my wedding planning, and I don't think this will be the last!
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    White Knot

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  • I'm glad you're looking on the bright side!  This story makes me sad :(  I feel badly for your grandmother!

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