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Address Question

Yesterday's post about changing last names reminded me about something... I really do not want to address my STDs or invites to "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith."  I don't like how it looks with the man's name only.  Is there another formal way to address the invitations?  Would you recommend any of these?"Mr. and Mrs. Smith""John and Jane Smith""Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith"
7.17.10

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Re: Address Question

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    edited December 2011
    I would go with the third option. I, personally, went with Mr. & Mrs. John Smith. I am traditional and like it this way.
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    snorgesnorge member
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    edited December 2011
    We were inconsistent with how we did them (invalid, I know!). For most people, we did John and Jane Smith. But for the handful of people I knew would really care about etiquette, we did the Mr. and Mrs. John Smith thing (i.e., the women who refer to themselves as Mrs. John Smith). i didn't want to do it out of principle, but it just seemed easiest.I doubt using just the first names is correct by etiquette standards, but it was one of those etiquette rules that I decided not to worry about. =)Oh, and STDs are less formal, so you could probably do whatever you want on those--it's really for the invites that etiquette rules would kick in.
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    edited December 2011
    Jen, I think it depends on how formal your STDs are and the tone you want to set for the wedding. Our STDs were casual and we included them in Christmas cards, so we did Jane and John Smith (the woman goes first there in that case.)  Since our wedding invites were formal, we did Mr. and Mrs John Smith.Oh and I found this when I googled, lol.  You are not alone![url]http://www.weddingbee.com/2007/07/19/feminist-addressing/[/url]
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    edited December 2011
    Ditto pp, I did more informal on the STDs, but for the invitations did "Mr. & Mrs. John Smith" on the outer envelopes on 100% of them and did "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" on the inner evelope for about 75% of them. For the rest (our friends), I did first names on the inside. I felt really strange being so formal with my friends on the inner envelope. (I know, invalid!)  I know that doesn't go with etiquette either, but it worked for us.
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    LaFemmeRousseLaFemmeRousse member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks all!  I'd say our STDs are pretty middle-of-the road as far as formality goes, while our invitations will be formal.Great link, KR, thanks :)
    7.17.10

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    edited December 2011
    I answered wrong. I went with that addressing for invites only. I did John and Jane Smith for STDs.
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    edited December 2011
    Etiquette says no splitting Mr. from a first name. We did Mrs. Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith - we didn't want to not use the women's first names
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    edited December 2011
    Actually, strike my response. I think I am drinking too much with lunch :). You can't split a man's first name from his last name. We did Mr. and Mrs. Jane and John Smith.
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    LaFemmeRousseLaFemmeRousse member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    LOL, Shannon, midday boozing?  Is this in preparation for your observer tonight?  ;)
    7.17.10

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    edited December 2011
    I joined DH and his coworkers at the South Philly Tap Room for lunch. All I can say is yum.
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    LaFemmeRousseLaFemmeRousse member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yum yum!  Jealous... can I join you guys next time?  ;)
    7.17.10

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