May 2013 Weddings

Family Drama-Vent

I really just need to vent. FI and I planned on having a very small wedding, just immediate family and our very close friends, less than 25 people. My mother offered to pay 1/3 of the wedding cost if we would include more extended family. She said she would like for the whole family to be a part of the day and understood that financially we could not do that on our own so she would pay for it and we wouldn't have to worry about so much of the cost. We really appreciated her doing that for us, I offered to pay her back and she said no many times. Now that STD's have gone out and my mother is recently (2 weeks ago) remarried, her new husband is telling her that she needs to ask for the money back and not pay for anything or else FI and I won't learn anything. I know her new husband's daughter is getting married the week after us, and he is footing the bill for a 400 person wedding. I understand that it is his money and his choice to do what he wants with it. But why is he telling my mother that she can no longer help us? I never asked for a dime, she offered as long as we invited the extended family.

Anyways, thank you for listening to my vent, I appreciate it. I feel better after getting that off my chest.
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Re: Family Drama-Vent

  • WTH?? How does your mother feel? Is she asking you for the money?
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  • Maybe he's just really concerned about the money!? Especially if he's already footing the bill for your new stepsister's wedding? 

    It does sound really shady though, especially since his reason was that you and FI 'won't learn anything' by your mom contributing. Have you had problems with him before?
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  • In Response to Re:Family DramaVent:[QUOTE]Maybe he's just really concerned about the money!? Especially if he's already footing the bill for your new stepsister's wedding?nbsp;It does sound really shady though, especially since his reason was that you and FI 'won't learn anything' by your mom contributing. Have you had problems with him before? Posted by SSaltzman87[/QUOTE]
    This. If he can pay for his daughter's wedding, why can't your mom pay for yours? What does your mom say about all of this?
  • In Response to Re:Family DramaVent:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Family DramaVent:Maybe he's just really concerned about the money!? Especially if he's already footing the bill for your new stepsister's wedding?nbsp;It does sound really shady though, especially since his reason was that you and FI 'won't learn anything' by your mom contributing. Have you had problems with him before? Posted by SSaltzman87
    This. If he can pay for his daughter's wedding, why can't your mom pay for yours? What does your mom say about all of this? Posted by vchan4[/QUOTE]

    I second this talk with your mom.
  • My mom just goes with whatever he says because she thinks he is perfect. She hasn't come straight out and said give me the money, but she has mentioned that new step sister's wedding is costing more than they had originally planned and they need to come up with the money some how. I still don't see why it's being taken out on me.
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  • Sounds like he's spending the money your mom was going to give you on his daughter's wedding.  Wow this is super shittay...  You need to talk to your mom ASAP and tell her that you simply do not have the money to throw the wedding that she wanted.

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  • Maybe I am just a B, but until she came out and said give me the money back I wouldn't worry about it.  Let her drop hints or say things but that is ridiculous, they can figure out ways to cut costs (or people) from her wedding considering how small yours is in comparison she can deal with a little less of a budget.  If she does come out and say something just tell her the money is already spent and you dont have it.
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  • I agree with talking to your mom, but I also agree with planning as if you won't get that extra money. Unfortunately money comes with strings (as you're clearly finding out), and until you have that extra money in your hand- I'd go with your original plan with less than 25 people. Also this way you have more control over what's going on.
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  • You need an honest talk with your mom about this. I'd hate for you to plan for a wedding without the extra money from your mom and then you never recieve it.

    Your mom's new husband sounds like a jerk.
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